𝙉𝙤𝙬 𝙄'𝙢 𝙃𝙚𝙧𝙚 || ᴅᴇᴀʟᴏʀ ✓

25 - There's no way out of this for me

-ROGER-
I felt a bit of shuffling and I realized that John had gotten off the bed. I waited until I heard the door gently close then I opened my eyes and sat up. I kissed my little baby's cheek and stood up to follow him.

My body froze when I heard John's heavy sobs and I felt my heart break into a million pieces.

"I still want him, Fred." John said in between his whimpers and my tears immediately fell on my cheeks. I can't imagine the pain he was feeling and it made me feel guilty because I am the reason why he was hurting.

I walked hastily back to his bedroom and laid down next to Felix. I quietly cried as I hugged my baby and kissed the top of his head for comfort.

I can't believe that after everything we've been through, we still didn't end up together.

"I'm sorry, John. I'm sorry that I broke the promise that I won't leave you. I love you and I will still love you in the days to come." I mumbled as I wiped my tears and looked at my baby.

Felix. My precious gift. Even if he came unexpectedly, I'll always treasure him and I will never, ever regret that he came into my life.

"I wish that you and John could be my family." I whispered as I rubbed his back. "Then, I will truly be happy."

*
Dominique was lying on our bed with Felix while I pack my suitcase for the tour. We will be leaving for Stockholm the day after tomorrow so I thought it was best to prepare everything that I needed to bring.

"Make sure to put your passport in your carry on bag, sweetie, so you won't forget." She said and I hummed as I continued packing my things.

I liked Dominique. She's a great cook and she takes care of both Felix and I. She's also nice, and funny, and sweet - everything you could want in a woman, she is that. I even loved her at some point.

But right now, I just cared about her. I truly care for her and she deserves all the best in the world because she is an amazing woman. I know she loves me, she makes it a point to tell me that every single day, and I haven't said it back once.

Because unfortunately, she was not the one I loved.

I zipped up my suitcase and rolled it against the wall, then I walked over to the bed and snuggled with Felix, who was currently on his back and playing with his rattle.

"You love your rattle, don't you my little boy?" I cooed as I tickled his little tummy and he just giggled and threw the rattle at me. "Hey, that's not nice." I said and brought his rattle back to his hands and kissed his chubby cheek.

Dominique rolled to her side and reached over to me carefully so he won't squish Felix, then cuddled on my chest. It felt awkward, especially because I know that she loves me. But I can't return her love, at least not in the way she wanted me to.

"You're leaving in two days, we'll miss you." She whispered and ran her palms against my chest, trying to feel the skin underneath and I held her hand to stop her. She's been very suggestive lately, trying to subtly seduce me into having sex with her. And I'm not a fool to not notice it.

Yes. We do kiss, have cuddles, and all. But that's it. And I mostly do that to make her feel loved and to thank her for being such a good mother to Felix.

I prevent myself from having sex with her because I don't want to make things much more complicated than they are now. I can't do that to her, especially when I know that I still love John.

"I'll miss you too." I gave her a peck on the lips. "And I'll especially miss this little one, of course." I kissed my baby's forehead and he tried getting away from my lips. Dom and I both giggled at him. "You're getting a little bit of attitude, huh?" I chuckled.

"Why don't we have a date night, just you and I, before you leave?" Dom suggested and I thought for a second before I answered. "That sounds wonderful. But where will Felix stay?"

"My mom will take him. I just want to spend some time with you before you go. Is tonight okay with you?" She asked as she intertwined her hands on mine and I nodded. "Tonight's great."

I just spent the whole afternoon with my family, and Felix just dozed off in the middle of our playtime so me and Dominique just talked to each other about everything we had in mind.

"There's this house in Surrey that I wanted to buy for so long." I started. "It's spacey and I think it's a good place for Felix to grow, you know? It has a big garden with an overlooking balcony where he can run and play." We're still living in my old flat right now and I wanted to give my family a good house to live in.

"That sounds perfect, sweetie." She kissed my cheek and clutched her arm in my body.

Around five o'clock, we started to prepare for our date night. Dom had a quick shower and I woke Felix up and took him to the kitchen sink to bathe him. He was very squirmy while he was in the water so my shirt ended up soaking wet. But it's okay, he's very cute and he gave me giggles while I was shampooing his hair so I forgive him.

Dominique came into the bedroom as I was packing Felix's baby bag and she was already fully dressed and ready to go. I was stunned, to say the least, and I can't help but stare at her while she was adjusting her earrings in the mirror of the dresser.

She was wearing an A-line, sleeved, gold cocktail dress that hugged her curves perfectly. The skirt landed above her knees and it was paired with a black stiletto heels.

"Wow. You look beautiful." I stood up and kissed her cheek and she giggled and slapped me playfully. "Thank you, sweetie. Now go shower and get dressed."

I quickly jumped in the shower and changed into my suit, then I carried my sleeping baby and his baby bag to drive him to Dom's mother's house.

"Shall we?" I opened the passenger seat and held Dom's hand and we walked side by side inside the restaurant. We were seated immediately right by the back and our server quickly handed us over a menu.

"Why do you suddenly want a date night?" I asked and held her hand as the appetizers were served on our table. It was stuffed baked mussels and we paired it with red wine.

"Nothing. We haven't had a proper date since we had Felix, you know?" She smiled and I nodded. "Yeah. That's right."

"You look handsome as ever, Rog. How do you do it?" She squeezed my hand and I smiled. "It's in my genes, I guess." I chuckled a bit. "But you're quite a stunner, I must say. You look very beautiful tonight."

"You already told me that." She giggled. "That's because it's true." I saw her blush and I smiled. She really was a beautiful woman, no doubt.

We finished an entire meal and I actually enjoyed it. Dom was really an entertainer and we didn't have a dead moment throughout the meal. She always has something to say and it amused me.

Our desserts arrived immediately after our meal. Dom had a blueberry parfait and I got a chocolate lava cake. I smiled to myself when I remembered the last time I had this. It was with John in that cute little coffee shop near his street.

Dom spoke after she took a bite of her parfait and I looked at her. "So... Do you think about, you know, making this permanent?" She asked and my heart started beating so fast. She isn't thinking about you-know-what, is she?

"What do you mean?" I asked, gulping a big chunk of my red wine to hide my nervousness, and she just smiled at me. "Marry me?" She blurted which made my eyes widen a bit and I took a sip of my red wine again.

No.

No.

No.

I can't.

I like Dominique, but not enough to marry her. I don't love her. But I don't want her to get hurt.

"Since, you know, we already have a baby. I was thinking about marriage and stuff." She continued when I didn't say anything and I just held her hand tighter.

"I would love to."