𝙉𝙤𝙬 𝙄'𝙢 𝙃𝙚𝙧𝙚 || ᴅᴇᴀʟᴏʀ ✓

21 - I'm falling apart

"Okay." I whispered and put the phone down, not bothering to wait for her response and I sat down on the floor, next to the broken pieces of what was once a mug, and cried my heart out.

Why?

Why does everything have to be complicated?

Are we really not meant to be together? Or are we pushing too much for things to happen when it's not supposed to happen at all?

I don't know how long I have sat down there but it must've been long enough for Roger to notice that I wasn't in bed with him.

"Babe?" He shouted through the stairs and I heard his footsteps. I tried collecting myself together but he was walking fast enough to see me and my distraught face collapsed against the cold floor.

He ran towards me, stepping off the broken glass, and hugged me tightly. As soon as my head crashed on to his chest, tears came flowing down my face. My sobs went from soft and quiet, to hard and loud.

I can't contain my emotions. It was all too overwhelming. And I need a way to release it from my chest.

"What wrong? Why are you crying, babe?" He spoke softly as he brushed my hair with his hand. I shook my head as I tried to calm myself down then looked at him.

"Call Dominique."

"What?" He looked confused. "Call her now, please." I said and he nodded then ran to the phone.

I am not an idiot to not know by now who Dominique is. She's the past relationship that Roger had before we got back together.

My boyfriend was crying on the phone and a smile was forming on his lips. No matter how much I am hurting right now, I am still happy for him. He will now have the baby and the family that he had always wanted.

And I think I'll be making the right decision.

Roger came back to me and helped me up then we sat on the couch. He hugged me tightly, then cried on my shoulders. "I didn't know. I'm sorry." He said but I shook my head. "Don't be."

"It's a boy." He whispered and I nodded.

"I'm happy for you." I said through my tears and he was wiping it away with his thumb. "I'm so, so happy for you."

"Me too." He was shaking as he was still sobbing but his face is full of light and his smile is as wide as ever.

"Now, go. Go to your family." I said and held his hand, squeezing it. "Your family needs you."

"Will you still be here when I get back?"

"No. Stay with them. They're your family." I continued to cry and he looked at me with wide eyes as he held me and hugged my chest.

He was shaking through his words and my heart couldn't have had broken even more. "Are you breaking up with me?"

I shook my head. "I'm not."

He cried harder on my chest and I ran my fingers through his soft, blonde hair. "Then why does it feel like you're leaving me?"

"No. I'm not. I'm letting you go. They need you more than I do." I tried to stop myself from crying so I could be strong for him but my emotions are getting the most out of me so I can't.

He rubbed his face on my chest and my shirt was filled with his tears. "Stop crying, my love. I love you. I love you so, so much. And I'm happy for you. Never forget that."

"No. Please. Don't do this to me, babe. I want us to raise my baby together. I want us to be my family." He held me tighter and I rubbed his back.

"I want that too. But this is the right thing to do. You can't take away your baby from his mother." I kissed the top of his head then he looked up so I kissed his lips too.

"No. Please. I'm begging you, babe. Don't. This is not the end of us. Please." He whispered and I hushed him softly as my finger touched his lips.

"If we were meant to be, then fate will find a way to bring us back together. I promise." Then I kissed him lovingly, believing that it won't be the last time.

Roger left the house to go to Dominique's and I spent the rest of my day hugging his pillow, smelling his faint scent that was left on it.

I can still feel him on my arms, crying, begging me to not let him go.

But I can't.

I have to do it.

I don't want to be selfish. I don't want to deny the baby the chance to have both of his parents together, one mother and one father.

This hurts me so much. I also wanted to have a family with him, raise our children, and grow old to see our grandkids together.

But now, he's there. Tending to his new family, and I am here, uncertain if there will still be a future for us, for me.

My sobs were getting louder as I rolled over Roger's side of the bed, my hand creasing the bedsheets, and trying to feel the warmth of his body that once laid there.

This bed witnessed our relationship. Our waves of laughter, our midnight cuddles, our promises and commitments, and our act of love for each other.

This stings so much more than a breakup. Because this time around, we both didn't do anything to ruin our relationship. He has a responsibility and I let him go.

I made the right decision, didn't I?