𝙉𝙤𝙬 𝙄'𝙢 𝙃𝙚𝙧𝙚 || ᴅᴇᴀʟᴏʀ ✓

40 - I'll always be here

It was our third day in the hospital and there's no sign of Roger waking up but I stayed beside him and tried to talk to him. I have a strong feeling that he still hears me so I always tell him stories about our princess and how excited I was for him to meet her.

Freddie left this morning but he promised that he'll be back in the evening. I called Dom and asked her to bring Felix in. Maybe our son could wake him up.

"Dada?" Speaking of, Felix's voice echoed inside the room and he walked towards me and reached up so I carried him on my hips. 

"Thanks for bringing him here, Dom. I really appreciate it." I said and she smiled at me and told me it was no problem.

"How is he?" She asked and I smiled weakly. "We're still waiting for him to wake up." 

She walked over to my fiance's bed and held his hand as she sighed heavily. "I hope he recovers soon. I can't bear to see him in this state."

"I hope so, too."

"Dada s'eep?" Felix asked and I nodded. "Yeah, he's sleeping, little buddy. Do you want to wake him up?" He nodded so I sat him on the edge of Roger's bed and he crawled over towards his chest and started shaking him gently.

"Dada, 'up!" He squealed but there was no response.

"Dada, 'up!" He repeated but again, no response.

"Dada? No 'up?" He shook his chest gently then he placed his ear against his chest and he started crying.

"Dada no 'up." He cried and hugged Roger's chest tightly. I started tearing up and Dom held my hand and squeezed it tightly, whispering "he'll be okay" to me over and over again.

"Felix, baby, don't cry, please. Maybe dada's just tired. Let him sleep, okay?" Dom said and my baby nodded then he laid down beside his dada and hugged his chest. "S'eep with dada." He said then closed his eyes.

I smiled and turned my head towards Dom. "I'm sorry, I must look like a mess right now. I haven't slept properly for the past few days." 

"It's nothing, John." She said. "I completely understand."

It was nice of her to keep me company until Freddie came back. I really needed someone to keep me sane while I'm in here because I don't think I'll be able to stop myself from crying if I was left here alone.

I asked the nurse if Juliet can come to the room and she agreed so she was now wheeling in my baby's bassinet. 

Dom and Freddie hogged the bassinet and they both wanted to hold her at the same time so I stepped in. "Stop it, guys. You're scaring my baby." I teased and they both stepped back.

"Come here, Felix. Let's meet your baby sister." I smiled at my baby boy and grabbed him then I let him lean over the bassinet so he can see his sister.

He looked back at me confusingly and I pointed at my baby girl again. "There's your sister, my love. Her name is Princess Juliet." He pointed at her then looked at me again. "Ses?" 

"Yes, good job! Her name's Princess." I smiled.

"E'ow 'ses." He babbled and cooes were heard around the room. 

My heart almost exploded when he said that so I kissed him on his cheek. "I love you, my little buddy." 

"Av yu, dada." 

*

I asked Dom if Felix could stay the night and she said yes, so he was now sleeping beside his dada. Freddie was conked out in the uncomfortable mini sofa that hospital rooms had, and I was sitting on a monobloc chair with my head down at the edge of Roger's bed.

My body was tired. I hardly slept and I was already getting a headache from having a lack of sleep so I closed my eyes to try to get even a little bit of snooze.

I think I may have just slept lightly because my body immediately jolted awake when I heard Felix's giggles. "Dada, e'ow." His little voice said.

I was still a little bit disoriented with my lack of sleep so I stayed still and tried to listen to him some more.

"Fe... Fe... Fe'ix?" Maybe I wasn't dreaming? Maybe Felix really was the one speaking.

"Good job, my boy." That voice. I know that voice.

I immediately sat up straight and I saw Roger and Felix cuddling with each other on the bed, my fiance was wide awake and he was smiling at our little boy.

"Roger?" I said and I caught their attention and he smiled at me. "Oh thank god you're awake, my love." I leaned over and kissed him on the lips twice.

"What do you mean by that? I just slept, babe." He asked and I shook my head. "You've slept for two days straight. Don't you remember?"

He was obviously shocked. "No. That can't be right." He said and I pressed the button to call someone to let them know that Roger was finally awake.

I grabbed Felix when a  nurse came in and checked everything - his heart rate, his blood pressure, his IV bag, and his breathing. "Looks like everything's alright with you, Mister Taylor. Would you like me to bring your baby here?"

He nodded and the nurse went on her way to get our baby. "Have you seen her? What does she look like?" He asked as I put Felix back down on his bed and he immediately clutched onto Roger's chest.

"She's pretty and she looks a lot like you, love. A girl version of you, probably." I giggled. "Really? Well, she must be cute then because I'm cute as hell." 

I playfully rolled my eyes at him and scoffed. "She's cuter, just so you know." I said and I remembered something just as I was about to sit down on the chair beside his bed.

"I named her, my love. They're already asking me to sign her birth certificate so I named her. I know we already talked about naming her Juliet but I added Princess to her name." I said and he nodded.

"So she's Princess Juliet?" He asked. "She is."

I was afraid that he was gonna argue about it but he just smiled. "I loved it, babe. It sounds like royalty." 

The nurse came back with Juliet's bassinet and told Roger that they needed skin-to-skin time as they hadn't done that since her birth, so I helped my fiance untie his hospital gown then he laid down and I placed my baby on his chest.

"Oh wow, she's big." Roger said and I giggled. "Nine pounds, love. She absorbed all the muffins you ate." I teased and he slapped my hand. 

"How dare you tease me in front of both your children?" He whined and I just laughed at him. "I think it's really in your genes, love. Felix was also a chubby baby when I met him for the first time." 

I remembered the day that I met Felix. I was at the lowest point of my life during those times. Roger and I just broke up and he brought his baby on New Year's. It hurts back then that he has a new family, but I could never hate his baby. 

"I want you to meet Felix." Roger smiled and I look down at the little bundle of cloth on my arms. His baby opened his eyes and my heart fluttered when he yawned and covered his mouth with his tiny, socked hands.

"And Felix..." Roger shook his little hand and looked at me. "...this is your Uncle John." I kissed the baby's tiny nose and he cooed a little, making my eyes well up with tears.

Looking back, our relationship had gone a long way. Along with getting Roger back in my life, I also gained a son -- Felix. He was the sweetest son that I could ever ask for and I loved him so much.

I went back to reality and I gazed at my little family on the bed. Juliet was laying on top of Roger, and Felix had his head on my fiance's tummy trying to get some skin to skin time as well. 

I smiled to myself as I looked at them. Despite everything that had happened in our relationship throughout the years, my heart is happy.

I  am happy because I know that I would wake up every day feeling loved and contented. 

If this is what happiness feels like, then I can safely say that I now knew what real happiness is, and there is nothing more that I could ask for.

I love my little family and I would always love them with all my life.