𝙉𝙤𝙬 𝙄'𝙢 𝙃𝙚𝙧𝙚 || ᴅᴇᴀʟᴏʀ ✓

27 - You know I'll never be lonely

"Tell me what happened?" John whispered as I stared at his eyes. It has a hint of pity and sadness and I don't want to see that so I looked down.

He sighed and held my cheek. "I'll make you tea, okay? Do you want a shower first?" I nodded and I realized that I was still in my suit. I badly needed that hot shower after the long night I had.

We walked to the loo and he opened the shower, adjusting the temperature for me. "You don't need to do that, I know my way around here." I shyly smiled. "I know. I-I just want you to feel that I'm here." I almost cried when he said that and I hugged his waist tightly. He was being too sweet.

I undressed and hopped on the tub as he locked the door when he left. The water relaxed my muscles and it actually made me feel a lot better.

My body was dripping wet when I got out of the shower and I saw that there wasn't any towel inside. I was planning to make a run from here to the bedroom when I almost stumbled on a bundle of cloth outside the door. It was a towel and a housecoat. John is being so sweet and my heart is overwhelmed.

After I dried myself, I walked towards the closet and decided to borrow some of John's clothes for me to wear. He wouldn't mind it, hopefully. My eyes scanned through the closet to find something big enough to wear and I was getting frustrated because everything is too small. Why must you be fitter than me, John?

I almost decided to just sleep with the housecoat on, or probably naked, when I pulled a drawer and I wanted to cry on the spot. All my clothes, all of them are still there, neatly folded and intact. I put my hand on my mouth to keep myself from getting too emotional and I pulled out a pair of cotton shorts and a loose t-shirt and quickly wore it.

"I see that you found your things?" John smiled as he put down the tray that he was holding on the bedside table and I ran to him, clinging on like my life depended on it. He was surprised because he jumped a little but he placed his arms around me. "I love you, John, so much." I mumbled on his chest and he kissed my forehead.

"Are you feeling okay, now?" He rubbed my back and I shook my head. "Can you talk to me about it?" I nodded and he sat me on the bed, passing me a mug of tea. "Sorry. I didn't know if you were hungry or not so I brought you some leftover pizza and a chocolate bar."

"Thank you." I smiled and broke off a piece of chocolate and popped it in my mouth. "Now, can you tell me what happened?" He sat on the bed, facing me, and I nodded. "Dominique asked me to marry her." His lips turned into a frown and he had a dejected look on his face. He looked down so I won't see it, but I did.

"I said no." I continued and he looked back up at me. "Why?" He tried looking at my eyes for an answer and I just stared at him. "I can't marry her, John." I took a deep breath and held his hand then continued. "I still love you."

He smiled so wide I can see his tooth gap that I love so much but his eyes still show an emotion that I couldn't quite recognize. "Are you... Are you going to stay this time? With me?"

"I'd stay with you, forever if I have to." I chuckled and kissed his hand. "You're the only person that I love, John. I can't see my future with anyone else but you." I saw his glossy eyes and held his hand tightly. I put down the mug that I was holding on the bedside table and I held both of his cheeks. I stared into his beautiful eyes and gave him a quick peck on the lips.

I felt his hand on the back of my neck and he pulled me towards him, deepening our kiss. I was in tears while we were kissing and he pulled away, wiping my tears with his thumb and I saw that he was crying as well. I gave both his eyes a kiss, then I kissed his left hand, making sure that my lips touched his ring.

"Don't cry, my love. You're making me cry as well." I chuckled, trying to lighten up the mood and I sighed in relief when he smiled. "I missed the way your soft lips kiss me." He said and ran his thumb on my lips, then he pinched it, putting me on a forced pout face. "Hey!" I furrowed my eyebrows and he was giggling so hard at my face. I pulled his fingers off my lips and I continued pouting at him.

"Is your life purpose to always tease me?" I mumbled and he chuckled. "Aww. Don't be mad, love. You look like an angry blonde midget." My jaw dropped and he abruptly stood up and ran towards the door. He hid in one of the rooms and I furiously looked for him. Ugh, I hate you, John!

An arm wrapped around my waist and lifted me off the ground, it was fucking John! He carried me towards the bed and threw me right in the middle! I was about to sit up to grab him but he pinned me down, putting all his weight on me. He was still laughing at me and I couldn't have been more irritated.

"Don't be mad, my handsome blonde love." He said and gave me googly eyes and he blinked his eyes slowly to show me his long lashes. How could I be mad at this beautiful creature in front of me?

I rolled my eyes at him and he pouted, making himself look a lot more cuter. "I'm sorry. Forgive me, please?" He gave me Eskimo kisses and I smiled, raising my head to give him a peck on the lips. "You're such a jerk but I forgive you. Now get off me." He rolled over and I sat up and flicked his forehead.

"Aww. What was that for?" He held his forehead. "That's for making me run after you, you idiot." I chuckled. "And this..." I kissed his lips again. "...this is for loving me despite everything." I smiled. "Who said that I love you?" He gave me a smug smile and I groaned in frustration. "I fucking hate you right now, John."

He giggled softly and held my cheeks, giving me small kisses throughout my face. "Just kidding. I love you so much." He said and I ignored him. "I'm sorry for teasing you so much, love. I just missed you." He hugged me tightly. I missed him too, so much.

We laid down in bed and I snuggled next to him. I missed this. I missed the warmth of his body and I missed hearing his breathing in my ears. It relaxes me.

"What about Felix? It makes me feel a little bit guilty because he will grow up in a broken family. I don't want that." He sighed and I looked up at him. "I promised myself that I won't make him feel like I'm not there. I love him with all my life, John. And I will make sure that he'll feel that. I don't him to resent me when he grows up."

"And how will that work, exactly? We can't take him even if we wanted to. It's not fair to Dominique. It's her baby too." He asked and I nodded. "I know. I told her I'll be back in the morning, maybe we'll talk by then." I said and kissed his cheek. "Don't worry about it too much, babe. I'll work it out." I sat up and reached over to the chocolate bar on the bedside table and nibbled on it.

"I missed you." He stroked my cheek and I smiled. "I missed you too. So much." I kissed his lips. "I'm sorry for putting you in so much pain when I left, I won't do that anymore." I whispered in his ear. "You don't deserve that and I will make sure that you won't go through it again."

"Don't say that. I am okay. As long as you're here, I am okay." He smiled and pulled me to his chest. I can feel his heart beating so fast and I smiled.

I never felt more at peace when we drifted off to sleep, clinging in each other's arms. 

This is it.

This is what it feels like to be happy and loved. Just him alone makes me contented. He loves me and I love him, that's all that matters to me right now.