𝙉𝙤𝙬 𝙄'𝙢 𝙃𝙚𝙧𝙚 || ᴅᴇᴀʟᴏʀ ✓

26 - Can barely stand on my feet

I held Dominique's hand tighter and she stared at me hopefully. "I would love to." I started and she nodded, signaling me to continue.

"I would love to marry you, Dom. Hell, every guy would love to marry you. You're the perfect woman." I said and I felt the air in the room get thicker and thicker. "But I'm sorry, I can't."

A tear fell on her cheek and she tried to pull her hand away from me but I held it tighter. "Let it go, Rog." She gritted her teeth but she eventually gave up trying to pull her hand from mine.

"I'm really, really sorry, Dom. I can't do it." I looked down to hide the tears that were forming in my eyes. "Take me home now." she sharply said and I nodded, placing some money on the table and leaving a little more as a tip for our server.

The drive home was uncomfortably silent and I drove as fast as I could. I could hear Dom continuously sighing in the passenger seat and my heart was pounding because I know that we are in for a long night.

Dom walked out as soon as I stopped the car and she hurriedly went inside the house. I ran after her and I saw her in our room, hastily putting her clothes in her suitcase.

I held her hand to stop her but she pushed me away and continued packing her things. "Dom, please. Don't leave." I pleaded but she ignored me so I approached her again and she pressed her hand on my chest and pushed me away from her.

"No, Dom. Don't do this." My hand gripped hers and she looked at me, her cheeks wet with tears and she was sobbing heavily.

My heart stung with guilt. I have hurt two people in a span of a few months and I feel like the most horrible person in the world.

"Why, Rog? Why won't you marry me?" She burst into tears and I held her on my chest, rubbing her back to calm her down. "I love you, but not in the way that you expect me to." I whispered in her ear as I lead her to the bed to sit down.

"Why? Am I not enough? Is my face ugly? Is my body not perfect for you? What's wrong with me?" She yelled at me while she hit my chest with her fists and I let her. I just held her waist to keep her from falling off the bed.

"I did everything, Rog. Everything! I have been a good partner to you. I made sure you were comfortable while we are living together. I am a good mother to Felix. Why don't you want me?" She continued and I sighed heavily and wiped my tears with one hand.

"I'm sorry. I still love John." I whispered and she screamed harder. Her body was shaking because of how hard she was crying so I held her body tighter. "Don't think that you aren't enough, because you are. You are more than enough. Believe me, I tried to love you romantically to make our relationship work..."

"...but my heart still calls out for John. I'm sorry, Dom." I hugged her and she was mumbling in my chest but I couldn't quite understand what she was saying so I just ran my fingers on her hair. "Then I'll leave." Was what I heard her say after a few seconds and she stood up abruptly.

"Don't leave, please." I pulled her arm again and she sat on the bed. "Don't leave. Just stay here, I'll be the one to leave." I squeezed her hand and continued. "It will make me feel better to know that you and Felix are safe here. Please, Dom, stay here." I pleaded and I saw her slowly nod her head.

I kissed her forehead and let her settle down on the bed. "I know how much I hurt you and I cannot apologize enough for what I did to you." I rubbed her arm and she just stared at me, obviously light-headed with the amount of crying she did tonight.

"I'll be back in the morning." I whispered and kissed her forehead one last time and stood up and headed for the door. I went to my car and just sat there, crying, not knowing what I will do next.

My tears continue to fall to my cheeks as I pulled away from the driveway and into the road. I don't even know where to go. I just drove and drove and drove until I don't recognize where I am anymore.

I am such a bad person. Everywhere I go, I hurt the people who are there for me. It seems like I am the one who does not deserve to be happy.

I turned back and drove to Dominique's mother's house. I walked to the door and knocked softly. The door opened and saw Dom's mother's happy face. She was about to say something but stopped herself when she saw how devastated I look.

"Is Felix still awake?" I asked. "He's up in our room, still playing with his toys." She said and I nodded and walked towards the bedroom. Dom and I have been here a few times so I knew my way inside.

Felix was on his tummy and he was flapping his hands on the bed. I smiled as I saw my baby and I went to pick him up. He must've recognized me because he made grabby hands on my face and squished my cheeks, giggling at my scrunched up face.

I hugged my baby tight and cried a bit. "I love you so much, Felix. I'll still be here for you even if I'm not with your mum anymore." I whispered, knowing that he won't understand me anyway but telling him that puts my heart at ease.

No matter what happens, my baby will always be my first priority. I want him to feel that I love him and I will make sure that I won't be an absentee father in his life.

Felix pushed his tiny hands on my shoulders and stared at me. He patted his fist on my cheeks, maybe his way of making me feel better, and I chuckled. I kissed his chubby cheek and hugged him again.

"Go to sleep, my baby. You'll still see me, okay? I won't leave you, I promise." I laid him down and patted his bum. It puts him immediately to sleep when we do that to him.

I stood up as he closed his eyes and gently left the room. I hugged Dom's mother and thanked her, letting her know that Dom will pick up Felix tomorrow morning. She just nodded and I left.

I was getting disoriented with all the crying I did tonight. My body was on autopilot mode and I just drove in silence, my mind wandering afar.

My hand turned the wheel in a familiar street. A street that was all too familiar to me. My heart was beating so fast as memories came flashing back in my mind. Everything was so familiar and I can't help but feel overwhelmed with my emotions.

My hand was shaking as I pulled into a driveway and I walked to the door as slowly as I could, feeling a mix of fear and sadness in my heart.

Fear because I do not know what will happen when I knock on this door, and sadness because the last time I was in here, I broke someone's heart.

I knocked on the door thrice, waiting for some kind of response as my eyes stare at the floor. I was anxious and I was fiddling with my fingers as I await a response.

Thirty seconds.

Forty seconds.

Fifty seconds.

There was no response.

I was about to knock again when it suddenly opened. Tears started falling from my eyes as I felt a familiar warmth envelope my body.

I felt safe.

I bawled my eyes out as I wrapped my arms around the warm body. "Take me back, please." I cried on his chest and he rubbed my back, trying to calm me down. "Can I please come back home, John?" I sobbed and he pulled away, hushing me as he stared into my eyes.

"You don't need to ask me that, Rog. This will always be your home."