𝙉𝙤𝙬 𝙄'𝙢 𝙃𝙚𝙧𝙚 || ᴅᴇᴀʟᴏʀ ✓

39 - With a heavy heart

They let me out of the room. 

My body was shaking in fear. I haven't even touched my baby yet and I don't even know what is happening to my fiance right now.

I sat on the floor and continuously cried until my tears were almost completely gone.

People were staring, but I don't care. I was in a position where I was confused and afraid. My heart was beating so fast and I was overthinking everything that could possibly happen.

Is my baby okay? I would like to think so because I heard her cry.

But is Roger okay? Please let him be okay.

I couldn't help but think of the worst-case scenario and it only made me cry harder.

Oh god, please don't let him die.

I walked towards the information and asked if I could call someone and the nurse kindly passed me the phone and I called the only person that could make me feel alright right now.

"Hello, Freddie? I know it's late but I need you in the hospital, please." 

Not even half an hour have passed and Freddie was running in the halls looking for me and I looked up, locking eyes with him and he hurriedly ran towards me and hugged me tight. That alone triggered my tears and I was a complete mess on his chest.

"I don't know what happened. One moment, I heard my baby crying and the next, Roger's unresponsive." I whimpered and he rubbed the back of my head to try to calm me down.

"And now, I don't know what is happening. Oh god, I don't want Roger to die. I would literally die if that happens." I hiccuped through my tears and Fred held me tighter.

"Roger's not going to die, John. Don't think about it because it won't happen." He said.

I wanted to believe him but right now, I just don't know what to believe anymore. 

"No, he is. He's gonna die. He's gonna die because of me. I did this to him, Fred. I made him suffer." 

"No, John, he isn't. John. Listen to me." He held my face up so I was looking at him. "Roger is going to be okay. Believe me, he's gonna wake up and you'll be walking out of here with your baby, okay?"

I nodded and buried my face against his chest. "Please let him be okay. I can't lose him, Fred. Not again." 

"Mister Deacon?" A woman's voice spoke up and I looked up to see who it was. It was a nurse. "You can see your baby now." 

Fred and I stood up and followed her to the nursery where all the other babies are sleeping. There was a small bassinet in the far corner of the room with a squirming baby in it and I immediately knew it was my little princess. 

"Hi there, baby girl. It's me, your dada." I temporarily forgot everything and my focus was all on the cute little thing on my arms.

She was stretching her arms around, probably getting used to all the space that she has right now and I couldn't help but smile. "Yeah, it's big out here love. You can play around more and you can grow as big as you want to."

I looked at her and noticed that she looks like a baby version of Roger with her bright, blue eyes and her white hair that I'm pretty sure will turn blonde as she grows older. She was also a bit on the chubbier side. Her arms and legs have rolls on them and her cheeks are as plump as an apple. 

I was never a fan of love at first sight but I fell in love  as soon as I laid my eyes on her.

"I love you, my little princess. I can't wait to take you home." I kissed her chubby little cheek then looked at Fred who was smiling like an idiot beside me.

"Do you want to hold her?"

"Oh yes, please." He squealed and I placed my baby in his arms, making sure to still support the head as I passed her on.

"That's your uncle Freddie, my baby girl. He's nice, don't be afraid of him. He'll take good care of you." Fred smiled and bounced her around a little bit too much which made my baby cry.

"Oh no, I'm sorry princess. I didn't mean to make you cry." Fred looked at me with guilt and I took her again and calmed her down before the nurse went over us.

"Mister Deacon, we need you to sign the birth certificate, please." I nodded and I passed my baby girl to her, and she gave me a clipboard with a blank birth certificate on it.

Baby Girl Taylor
February 8th, 2:03 am
9 lbs, 15 oz

"Wow, she's big." Fred said and I nodded. "She is."

"Do you already have a name for her?" He said and I looked over the birth certificate again. We haven't discussed her middle name yet but I think Roger will agree that this is the perfect name for her.

Princess Juliet Taylor-Deacon
February 8th, 2:03 am
9 lbs, 15 oz

"That's a pretty name. It suits her." Freddie said and I can't help but smile as I signed her birth certificate. Her name really is as pretty as her. 

My friend left me for a bit to get us something to eat and I sat in the waiting room, my mind still thinking about what was happening to Roger. It was almost dawn and they're still not telling me anything.

"Mister Deacon?" I looked up and it was Doctor Martin. "I need to talk to you about your partner."

My heart was beating so fast and I don't want to hear what he will say next but I needed to. I have to.

"Mister Taylor is in a state of circulatory shock, which means his blood pressure abruptly dropped while in the process of childbirth. His body also cannot take the stress that he was in that's why he fell unconscious." He started and my eyes were wide in shock.

"Oh god."

"We've already pushed the placenta out of him and he bled internally for a bit but we've managed to stop it. His blood pressure is back to normal but we'll just have to wait for him to wake up." 

"Is he going to be okay?" 

"He will be. His body was just shocked but we hope that he'll wake up anytime between today until tomorrow. You can go to his room now."

"Thank you for telling me." I answered weakly and Doctor Martin nodded then went on his way.

Freddie came back just in time and he followed me to Roger's room.

As I walked towards the bed, I saw my fiance's body looking so weak and tired. "I'm sorry for putting you through this. I didn't mean to." I cried against his palms and I felt Fred rubbing my back.

"It's no one's fault, John. These things happen, okay? He will wake up. He's strong, right? He'll get through this, I know that." He whispered and I nodded.

I leaned over Roger's ear and kissed it then whispered. 

"You'll get through this, my love. I believe in you. You're not the person who gives up easily. Please wake up. Wake up for our Princess Juliet."