I'm Sorry | BTS Kim Namjoon Fanfiction ✅

13. Explain

Jaeni's POV

Me and Namjoon were sitting in the living room, sitting on opposite ends of the couch, I was fiddling with my fingers, feeling very anxious and awkward at the same time.

"You still haven't explained things to me Jaeni." Namjoon said bluntly. "I...I don't know where to start so just ask something you want to know." I said, not looking at him. "That boy, who is he?" He asked and I tensed up a little but responded. "His name is Soobin, he's my--, our son." I said. I heard him move closer to me, he pulled my face up to face him. "You didn't get married?" He asked. I shook my head. "I didn't, the reason I changed my last name is because I was trying to hide myself and our son." I said.

"Why didn't you just tell? Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant?" He asked, his voice starting break down. "Namjoon, the day I found out I was pregnant, we just had a discussion that you weren't ready to be a father, you didn't want to have kids yet and that scared me. I know how you are Namjoon, when things aren't going up to your plan, you get angry and upset." I said pushed his hand away while standing up.

"Do you think of me that way Jaeni? Have I not proven myself to you?" He said while standing up as well. "It's not that Namjoon, but would you have accepted our son if I had told you I was pregnant?" I asked. "I..." He couldn't find the words. "Exactly." I said and turned away from him.

"I did this to protect our son Namjoon, our child, I didn't want him to feel bad that his father didn't accept him at first, I did this for him." I said whiled I teared up.  I sniffled, remembering all the things I had to do to protect my son all these years. I then felt arms wrap around me for a hug "Jaeni.." Namjoon said. He turns me around to face him, cups my face in his hands and wipes my tears away.

"I'm sorry, I-I'm so sorry Namjoon, for doing this to you, for leaving and taking our son away." I said and sobbed. "Shhh, it's okay, I understand now, you wanted to protect him, I know." He said and pulls me to his chest, I cried into his chest as he rubs my back to comfort me. "I-I don't d-deserve you.." I said.

"Hey, don't say that." He said faces me to him. "I would rather die than be someone else other than you, that's why I didn't give up on searching for you." He said. "Y-you still..want me?" I asked. "Yes I do my love." He said and kissed my forehead. "I will want you no matter what, I'll admit I don't know if I can be a good father but I will do anything for you and your son, I will learn to love him like you do as a parent." He said. I smiled and laughed in joy.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

Namjoon leans in and crashes his lips on mine, I felt my heart beat faster and my stomach flutter.

I missed him.

So much.