{joey tribbiani ff}
•book one•
Heather Bing moves to New York, hoping that her life will continue to be as perfect as it currently is. She has a comfortable place to live, friends to laugh with and a boyfriend that she truly loves.
"I could've reach...
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chapter forty nine ~ the one with the rejection Heather's POV
Today was the day that I had to come clean to Nick and I wasn't looking forward to it, it felt as though I was going to ruin whatever relationship we had created and that he would never want to talk to me again. But I needed to stop all of this before we got ahead of ourselves, we hadn't been together for that long and the fact that he wanted us to move in together was happening too soon. After the last relationship that I had ended so badly, I wanted to take time and not rush into another serious relationship this fast; things went out the window when Nick and I connected but this was too much. All I could imagine was us moving in together, then ending up getting engaged or even married, but not being completely happy. We would end up hating each other if we kept rushing through this relationship and completing all of these milestones when we weren't ready for them. This was what I was trying to avoid and I needed to be honest with him.
In the back of my mind, I was wondering what I really wanted from this relationship. When I was with Carl, I had believed that we were going to have a future together and that I would end up being married to him for the rest of my life, I was never thrilled about it but I had just assumed that that was what would happen. Now that I was with Nick, my head was swimming with thoughts of what I wanted with him, could I see myself having a future with him? Right now, it didn't feel like I could. I really liked him, I told him that I loved him but there was something holding me back from wanting to imagine a future with him. I couldn't see myself marrying him, or having kids with him or growing old with him. Maybe that would come with time? But then again, if the spark isn't there now then is there any point of continuing this relationship? Is it fair on Nick if I keep ignoring my true feelings?
I was brought out of my thoughts when the door to my apartment opened and revealed my boyfriend, home from his convention. Putting on the happiest smile that I could, I opened my arms for him and embraced him tightly. "Hi! How are you? How was the convention?"
"It was good, yeah, I met some great people and the food was amazing. I missed you though."
"I missed you too."
Nick pulled back from our embrace and held onto my shoulders, keeping his focus on my face as he brought up the thing that I had been dreading. "So, have you thought about what I asked you? About us moving in together?"
"Look, it was really sweet of you to ask me..." I stuttered, seeing the disappointment in his face as I rejected his proposal.
"I get it, it was too soon. I shouldn't have asked you."
The atmosphere turned colder now that the elephant in the room had been addressed and I didn't know what to say next. I hoped that we could just carry on as if the proposal hadn't even been mentioned but I knew that it was too late for that wish to come true. It was all my fault; I had ruined his mood and had probably ruined our entire relationship because of what I had said. But I couldn't help but feel that we were moving too fast and it wasn't fair on either of us to move into this relationship too fast. If we kept at this pace then eventually, we would both come down from the high and regret all of the bad decisions that we had made. Nick probably hated me in this moment, he had been hoping to get good news when he came back; however, he was a smart man and hopefully would come to his senses soon and realise that I made the best decision for us as this would slow down our very fast-moving relationship.
