Chapter 39 - Until we meet again
It's been months and I've been keeping myself busy. Ayoko munang isipin. I can say that I'm getting better but that doesn't mean I'm already better.
The wound is still fresh but I'm trying my hardest to be better each day. At nakikita ko naman na nagiging better talaga ako. That one day, i woke up and felt that I'm being me again.
"Iana, table six" Nag apply ako as a working student para nadin may maitulong ako at kahit papanaano ay mawala sa isip ko ang mga bagay na hindi naman dapat pinagtutuunan ng pansin. I'm wearing the cafe's apron and I'm a waitress here. Nakakapagod talaga dahil bago ako sa ganitong trabaho
I'm trying my best because I don't wanna be a disappointment
Hindi ako perfectionist but I'd rather be great than be someone who doesn't do their best. It's been months, yet I haven't forgotten his words yet. I still remember how i felt warm hearing his last I love you
Nililibang ko lang din ang sarili ko para hindi ko maalala ang nalalaoit nilang kasal.
Yes. Ikakasal na sila
I saw it coming. Nung huli palang kaming nagkita ay alam ko na. That it was the end.
Bigla akong napaisip. what if hindi ko sya nagustuhan una palang?
"Iana, table six!" Nagulat ako sa biglang pag sigaw ng boss ko.
"Yan na po" Medyo mabagal talaga kase first month ko palang rito. But i can feel na welcome naman ako dito. I already made friends which are Adrianna and Alex. They are both girls and we get along well.
Sa school naman ay laging si Yjasmin padin ang kasama ko. We avoid Adrian together
Ilang weeks nalang last year ko na sa senior year. I didn't really celebraten my birthday last week because i didn't feel like celebrating.
I'm excited to be 18 and move out. Hindi naman sa ayaw ko sa bahay pero I want to learn how to be independent. Ngayon na naranasan ko na na mag trabaho, sana naman payagan din ako na mag move out na.
Pagkauwi ko galing trabaho ay gumawa na agad ako ng kaylangan kong ihabol na requirements para sa pagtatapos ng school year. Dun din mismo sa coffee shop na yon ako mag s-summer job. Sabi ko kase sa parents ko na wag na akong bigyan ng pera sa bakasyon and i wanna earn my own money. '
Pumayag naman sila basta lumapit lang daw ako sakanila kapag may kulang pa ako.
I opened my email and I didn't expect to receive a wedding invitation. To my Adrian's Wedding
Hindi naman ako pupunta. Why would i? Hindi naman nakalagay na attendance is a must. Hindi ko sasaktan ang sarili ko para lang patunayan na naka move on na ako. Kase hindi pa naman talaga. Pinagloloko ko lang sarili ko.
The date is June 5. Kasabay ng araw na aalis ako papuntang Singapore. Sasama ako kay kuya Iyu dahil doon na sya mag c-continue ng studies nya. At doon na din ako
Hindi naman sa gusto kong takasan lahat dito pero hindi ba pwedeng gusto ko lang magpahinga? We'll leave as soon as the summer here ends
I'll finish my studies there and maybe get a job there? Hindi ko pa alam pero baka umuwi ako after i graduate. I have a lot of olans for myself
The next morning, I woke up feeling tired already kahit hindi pa naman nag uumpisa yung araw ko. Thi is tiring.
Pagpasok ko sa classrom ay pinagtaksilan na agad ako ng mga mata ko. I saw him reading a book again. Just like the old times. Nung mga araw na hindi nya pa alam ang pagtingin ko sakanya. Nung mga araw na meron pa akong tahimik na buhay
Pero diba ginusto ko naman to? I wanted a peaceful life and he gave me that. Bakit ang dami kong reklamo ngayon?
"Gusto mong panyo?" Napahawak ako sa dibdib ko dahil sa gulat. Bigla bigla nalang kasing susulpot si Yjasmin.
"Ano ba!" Tawa lang sya ng tawa sa ekspresyon na ipinakita ko. Tuwang tuwa pa talaga sya na ganon at ginulat nya ako?
"Alam mo kung gusto mo pa si Adrian, wag mong pigilan. Para tandaan mo, Adultery is a sin" bumulong sya sa tenga ko tyaka umupo na sa tabi ko. Anong pinagsasabi nitong adultery is a sin? Mukha ba akong papatol sa mag aasawa na?
I can get whoever I want. Sadly, he is the on I want. Bakit ba kase nagkagusto ako sa taong ang komplikado makuha.
I got him but I chose to let him go because I know that he isn't meant for me. Na baka nga siguro pilit kaming pinaglalayo ay dahil may taong sya naman ang maghahabol sakin.
I'm tired chasing him for my whole life.
"Hindi ako papatol sa may asawa, Yjasmin" I said. Pinag krus nya ang kamay nya sa harapan nya at tinignan ako ng masinsinan.
"Oo nga at hindi ka papatol. But are you sure na hindi papatol sayo ang may asawa na? I'm just trying to remind you that Adrian will no longer be available. As much as possible, avoid him. Kahit sya pa ang lumapit sayo"
I sighed and sat on my chair again.
This is so frustrating.
Alam ko naman sa sarili ko na hindi talaga ako papatol. Pero paano pag sya na ang naghabol?
No no no. Cheating will never be okay. It's a sin and I will not do it even if he's the one who will chase me this time. I already learned my lesson.
I won't claim someone mine who isn't mine in the first place. That's it's okay to get hurt because it's part of life.
Natapos ang klase namin na hindi na kami ulit nagkita ni Adrian. It's not that I want to see him.
Agad din natapos ang school year namen and summer is near. Actually, it's already summer dahil sa sobrang init.
Ramdam ko na talaga dahil wala nading masyadong pumupunta sa coffee shop. Who would want a hot drink if it's this hot in the Philippines?
I personally don't like coffee kaya hindi ko alam bakit naisipan kong magtrabaho dito sa coffee shop. Maybe I like seeing people drink their coffees because I can't drink mine.
I had a great time with my summer job at hindi ko namamalayan na May na pala.
Only a month left and I'll be leaving this country. I'll be back because I can never leave Philippines behind.
I already started packing my things because I have a lot. Hindi ko naman lahat dadalhin dahil yung iba ipapa ship nalang. And that's what I'm packing today.
Iuuna na yung iba kong gamit dahil sure ako na matagal maglipat. And it's gonna be tiring. But I also know that it's gonna be fun.
I'm not good at making friends but I hope that they'll like me there
Sa sobrang inip ko ata ay kung ano-ano na pumapasok sa isip ko.
"Are you ready to move out?" Kuya Iyu asked me.
I really don't know that answer to that.
Am I?
"I guess?" I answered and he chuckled.
I'm scared and nervous but I really know that a lot of memories awaits me there. I'll make more memories with my Kuya and new friends.
I'll totally miss Mom and dad. Ofcourse Kuya Clave too. I'll also miss Yjasmin. She's my bestfriend since elementary and it's kinda heartbreaking to go because I'll leave her behind.
I'm sure that she will understand that.
So this is goodbye?
Goodbye to all the pain I will leave here in the Philippines. Until we meet again. Adios
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🇵🇭 🛫 🇸🇬
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