KOTLC reacts [COMPLETE]

Reaction: Jugs

Anyone read Keeper of the Lost Memories? 

THE JUG. 

Sophie: Hey, look, a jug

Linh: Wow. What does it do?

Linh: Oh wait, never mind. Look: "jug: a large container for liquids, with a narrow mouth and typically a stopper or cap."

Sophie: There. Perfect definition.

Fitz: So what do you put in a jog?

Linh and Sophie: Jug

Fitz: Okay, so what do you put in a jump?

Everyone else: JUG

Fitz: You didn't answer my question

Keefe: Hey, Fitzy, Linh just said a liquid

Linh: Like water!

Tam: Oh dear

Marella: What

Linh: I want that jug

Tam: There. That's the problem.

Dex: So? Linh wants a jug. Let her have it. 

Tam: That's the thing. Shopping sprees.

Sophie: Tam knows human slang!

Tam: That's besides the point

Linh: Tam, let's go to that Walmart Sophie always mentions. I need ten jugs to put on the shelf at home.

Tam: AHHHHHHHHHH

Wylie: Uh, you mean my room

Linh: Same thing

Wylie: So I'm going to have ten jugs in my room the next time I visit?

*awkward silence*

Biana: Wait, what's the thingy over there? *points at the handle*

Fitz: The stopper, obviously

Keefe: Or cap

Keefe: I bet it's the cap

Sophie: It's the handle

Linh: That wasn't in the definition!

Linh: I HATE YOU, you dictionary! You gave me THE WRONG DEFINITIONS!

Linh: *chucks the dictionary out the window (literally)*

Grady from outside: WHAT WAS THAT?

Sophie: Um

Biana: And what's with the Handel?

Sophie: Handel's a composer

Biana: But . . .

Dex: Aren't compsoers people who write books?

Sophie; Those are authors

Dex: But . . .

Marella: Aren't Handels to hold things with?

Sophie: Handle spelled H-A-N-D-L-E, not H-A-N-D-E-L

Keefe: How would you know how we spell it?

Fitz: yeah, we're speaking

Wylie: Wait, then what's Handel doing on a jug if he's writing books?

Biana: I though Handels were things you hold so you can hold something

Fitz: That was mildly confusing

Sophie: No, wait—

Tam: So I'm holding Handel right now? *holds up jug by the handle*

Sophie: Guys, seriously—

Keefe: Aww, poor Handel

Linh: Yeah, it must suck for people to hold onto you all day

Dex: Maybe you can just hold it from the bottom

Tam: Oh yeah

Linh: Yay for Handel!

Biana: Ooh, or with two fingers at the top!

Sophie: GUYS—

Fitz: No, wait—

Tam: *holds it as Biana suggests*

Tam: *drops jug*

Jug: *shatters*

Everyone but Sophie: Aw, man, poor Handel

Sophie: Guys—

Keefe: We need to hold a planting for the poor guy

Biana: Sophie, does he have hair?

Linh: *sobs uncontrollably* I'm never getting those ten jugs. We need to honor Handel's memory.

Tam and Wylie: Phew

Marella: Sophie

Marella: Sophie

Marella: Sophie

Sophie: You guys really don't get it, do you?

Everyone else: What?

Sophie: *stares at the shattered jug, decides that her friends are somewhat—uh, very—clueless, and facepalms*

Sophie: Handel was a composer, a jug is a jug, handles on a jug are spelled H-A-N-D-L-E rather than H-A-N-D-E-L like the dead composer, and by the way composers wrote SONGS, not BOOKS

Keefe: So we didn't just kill Handel?

Sophie: No! He died in 1759! 

(Sorry for my music history nerdiness.)

Keefe:  . . .

*more awkward silence*

Linh: Then I'm getting those ten jugs!