KOTLC reacts [COMPLETE]

Reaction: Kettles

Keefe: I am SO THIRSTY

Keefe: Wow, look. A lake

Keefe: Guess what?

Keefe: I'M GONNA DRINK IT SO I DON'T DIE

Keefe: *cups water into his hands*

Keefe: *about to drink*

Sophie: WAIT!

Keefe: *rolls eyes* Do you want me to die, Foster?

Sophie: Boil it first

Keefe: What?

Sophie: The water

Keefe: Why? It's water

Sophie: And you're in the Forbidden Cities. Need I remind you how many types of pollution there are, starting with water pollution. . .

Keefe: *gags* BLEH

Sophie: So boil it

Keefe: Still don't get it

Linh: *just starts paying attention* What does this have to do with boils

Sophie: NOTHING AT ALL

Linh: Okay, then

Keefe: See? I'm not the only clueless one

Sophie: Has anyone here every heard of a kettle, seriously!

Dex: Those things that whistle

Keefe: Kettles can whistle while dealing with the insufferable pain of boils? They are some weird people

Sophie: NO THEY AREN'T—

Keefe: So where can we find the humble home of Mr. Kettle?

Dex: I think kettles are an object

Sophie: Correct

Dex: Ha HA!

Fitz: So why does an object have a boil? It doesn't make sense—

Keefe: PRECISELY THAT

Sophie: Incorrect

Keefe: Uh huh, so why don't you tell us, Miss Smarty Pants

Sophie: Kettles boil your water 

Keefe: Very descriptive

Biana: And where do you get a kettle

Sophie: Why. Walmart, of course!

Everyone else: . . .

Sophie: *sighs* I forgot none of you know all about Walmart. . .

Wylie: So this Walmart

Wylie: It's a kettle store?

Wylie: I think we need to go there

Wylie: Looks like Keefe's dying

Keefe: I KNOW! FOSTER, IF I DO DIE, YOU KNOW YOU'RE RESPONSABLE FOR LETTING ME DEHYDRATE

Sophie: You drank half a gallon of water two hours ago

Keefe: And used it all up TALKING to you!

Sophie: Oh, sure

Sophie: I remember someone chatting non-stop with a clerk at Walmart. . .

Marella: Ah, so we have been to this famous  Walmart before. . .

Marella: . . . and somehow forgotten

Fitz: I didn't know I had short term memory

Tam: Well, that's too bad, because I remember, and remember buying this kettle—*Tam whips out a kettle from thin air*—because it sounded like 'Keefe' so that I could—

Keefe: —fangirl over me?

Keefe: Admire it day and night?

Keefe: Kiss it?

Keefe: On second thought, gross

Tam: To throw it off a cliff, naturally. 

Tam: Then drop yo off the cliff after it

Keefe: Oh dear. . .

Sophie: *snatches the kettle from Tam* Weren't you dehydrating and planning on blaming me for it?

Keefe: *pretends to die* Ohh, my throat, my throat, it's as dry as Tam. . .

Sophie: *rolls her eyes* Don't be dramatic. Is there an electrical plug thing here?

Tam: There's a Walmart over there

Sophie: *fills the kettle with water* Be right back

*some time later*

Sophie: I'm back

Keefe: *while dancing around* Oh, good, 'cause I'm about to faint

Sophie: Seriously? 

Keefe: No, gimme my water

Sophie: Wait—

Keefe: UH UH

Keefe: I'm gonna die if you stop me AGAIN

Sophie: But it's—

Keefe: *drinks water out of the kettle*

Sophie: —very hot

*Back in the Lost Cities*

Keefe: Nhow, dis urts

Sophie: I told you so

Elwin: It seems that Keefe has some bad boils on his tongue. 

Linh: Well, look

Linh: It turns out boils do have something in common with kettles

Sopihe: Only if you have no common sense and drink water from the kettle without waiting

Keefe: EthCUSE ME?

Sophie: Meaning you