Lagot Ka Kay Coach

Chapter 33: [Too Close For Comfort]

Kung naghihintay ka ng tawag, every second mong titignan ang phone mo. You’e going to have a mild case of paranoia. Mapapraning ka kasi feeling mo nag-vibrate yung phone mo kahit hindi naman. Kung papanoorin ka ng ibang tao, baka sabihin nilang nababaliw ka na pero honestly, wala ka pa ring pakialam. You still wait by the phone kasi lalong hindi ka matatahimik kapag hindi mo hinintay yung tawag niya.

                That’s exactly how I feel right now.

                The sun is finally setting over the horizon. Nasa balcony ako, watching as the last rays of sun bathe the city with its golden light. The clouds are a mixture of pink, orange and sky blue.

                Malamig pa rin kaya naka-hoodie ako habang nakatayo at nakasandal sa railing. Yung hoodie ni Captain and suot ko. My hands are inside my pockets. Yung left hand ko hawak yung phone ko ng mahigpit.

                Please Call. Please Call. Call me. I need to hear your voice, Captain.

                Paulit-ulit ang mantra na yan sa isip ko. Pero wala pa ring nangyayari. It’s been hours since we last talked. Nawawalan na ako ng pag-asa.

                Biglang nag-vibrate yung phone ko. Mabilis ko itong kinuha at sinagot ang tawag.

                “Captain?” I said without thinking.

                “No. I’m sorry to disappoint you.” Sagot ni Juami.

                I was about to end the call nang pigilan niya ako. “Stop. I know what you’re about to do.”

                “What do you want Juami?” I’m tired. I don’t want to talk to him.

                “Why do you hate me so much?” Tanong niya.

                “I don’t hate you. I’m not particularly very fond of you right now either though,” Sagot ko.

                At this, Juami laughed. “There’s the Cheska I know. Always so honest,”

                And it spite of all the things in the past he’s done, and the recent events this morning, napangiti ako. “I always thought that was the reason why I don’t have a lot of friends.”

                “Are you kidding? You have enough friends. You don’t need a lot. It’s better to keep it that way. You hate drama, ‘di ba?” Si Juami.

                “I do. Kaya nga naiinis ako sa ginawa mo kahapon. You shouldn’t have done that Juami.” Sabi ko.

                “I had to. I need you to see how serious I am about you. I barely had a second chance to begin with. I’m sorry yesterday had to happen too but I’m not sorry that I’m back in your life. You know I love you.” Pagtatapat ni Juami.

                “I know. I do. And you know how I feel, Juam. I’m sorry but I don’t want to hurt you.” Why can’t he just save himself from the pain we all know is coming for him?

                “I don’t care about getting hurt, J. Gusto ko lang bumawi sa mga ginawa ko in the past.”

                I frowned. Sa ganitong paraan siya babawi?

                We’re starting with the nicknames again. This is getting too close for comfort. Baka kung saan pa tumuloy ‘to. I can’t trust myself with Juami. First love ko yan eh. And sometimes sa mga babae, may standards na sila sa relationship with future boyfriends. Minsan, ang girls yung best boyfriend ang standard nila. Pero in my case na iisa pa lang ang naging boyfriend, si Juami ang standard ko. Unintentionally.