Lagot Ka Kay Coach

Chapter 29: [In His Arms]

                “She’s not good enough for you. Not like I am.” Narinig kong sabi ng isang babae na nakatayo sa harap ko. Sino siya? Hindi ko makita ng maayos ang mukha niya dahil madilim ang paligid. At ang kausap niya ay si Juami. Pareho nilang hindi alam na nakikinig ako, na malapit lang ako sa kanila.

                “Of course you would say that. What’s good for me doesn’t really matter right now. I love her. You can’t tell me what to do. That responsibility isn’t yours anymore.” Sagot naman ni Juami. I can hear conviction in his voice. He’s telling the truth.

                “You hate me that’s why you can’t think clearly. Really Juami? Are you sure na mahal ka niya? Tapatin mo nga ako. Nararamdaman mo na din ‘di ba? May doubts ka na.” Nakangiti na ang babaeng kausap ni Juami. She knows she’s winning.

                My heart squeezed in my chest. Walang sagot si Juami.

                “See? I’m right.” Sabi ng babae. Dahan-dahan siyang lumapit kay Juami at hinawakan ang mukha niya. Inangat niya ito para matignan ang mga mata ni Juami. “Don’t do this to yourself.”

                “You don’t know Cheska like I do.” Sagot ni Juami.

                “I know enough to tell you that she’ll only hurt you in the end.” Sagot ng babae.

                “Don’t listen to her Juami. You know the truth. She’s just baiting you.” Sigaw ko. Hindi ko na kayang tumayo na lang dito habang nakikinig na pinag-uusapan nila ako. Juami is my boyfriend. Hindi kanya. Matagal ng hindi.

                Pero parang wala silang narinig. Juami stared at her, like he was finally realizing she was right.

                NO. Juami don’t do this please.

                Pero huli na ang lahat. The girl leaned in to kiss him. Juami didn’t respond, but he didn’t fight her off either. My heart broke into a million pieces. Why? Bakit nangyayari ‘to?

                Humarap sa akin si Juami. He smiled sadly at me before speaking, “You don’t deserve my love, or anyone else’s for that matter. You deserve whatever pain is going to come for you. Karma is going to catch up with you no matter how far you run, or who you run to.”

                Tapos bigla na lang silang nawala.

                Nagising ako. I sat up on bed, my hand holding the sheets tightly. It was just a dream. Panaginip lang ang lahat. Ang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko, pati ang paghinga ko ay mabilis. Hinawakan ko ang mga pisngi ko. Basa ito ng luha.

                Kahit panaginip lang ang lahat, hindi ko matanggal ang takot at kaba na nararamdaman ko. What was the dream for?

                The pain was raw as it gnawed at my heart. Nasasaktan ulit ako. ‘Di ba dapat tapos na ‘to? Dapat wala na ‘to. Nakapag-move on na ako. Hindi ko na mahal si Juami. Pero bakit masakit pa rin? Bakit affected pa rin ako?

                Tumayo agad ako sa kama at lumabas sa balcony. Umuulan pa rin. Nababasa na ako pero wala na akong pakialam. Mas okay ng masaktan ako physically, na ginawin ako, kaysa maalala uli yung panaginip ko. After a few minutes, okay na ako.

                Papasok na sana ako sa kwarto ko nang bumukas naman ang pinto sa kabilang side ng balcony.

                Si Captain.