𝐈 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔; tommyinnit

𝐢. 𝐍𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐞

✩᯽☾︎❄︎☽︎᯽✩

"she was young and forced to be a woman."
-in the night, the weeknd

Waking up to some may be a pleasure. The morning sun awaits you, the warmth of the day fills your bedroom, the birds chirp at your windowsill. That belonged in my dreams. I couldn't even see the sun from my bedroom, all I could see was concrete and frost covered walls.

In the morning, as soon as I would peel my eyes open and leave my dreamy state, I would be greeted with a depressing mixture of darkness and loneliness. My room had no windows, crumbling stone walls and a large, heavy door that led to the germ ridden underground tunnel - the only way to and from my personal space. 

It sounded like a living nightmare, one nobody would voluntarily put themselves through, and I had to live through it for nine whole months. Mother used to always say it was for my own good - that I was stuck in isolation against my own will -  but I begged to differ. I hadn't socialised in months, let alone even seen anyone other than my birth parent, and it noticeably took a toll on my mental, social and physical health. I just wanted to see my family happy again, together as a whole. Just like it used to be.

It all changed so suddenly, in what had seemed like a matter of mere seconds. My brothers: Technoblade, Wilbur, Ranboo and Quackity, all moved to the Dream SMP to pursue their dreams, but mother insisted I stayed behind to educate myself more. She believed that I wasn't fit for the city life at the time, which the rest of my family said otherwise, and needed to learn to live without the help of my brothers. My siblings tried to convince her, protesting against what she stood so sternly by, but it was no use. Then they left, and it was just Mother, Father and I, in our old house, in our old neighbourhood. I would give so much just to go back to that life.

A week after they left I was struck with news. Upsetting, heartbreaking news. Father had left. 

He had left to go help my brothers with the city life - my mother saying that they were struggling with adulthood - leaving me alone with Mother. If only he knew of her wicked and twisted plans. If only he knew what she was going to do.

Once everyone had gone, she changed. She became the definition of evil, forcing me to do things for her own benefit whilst emotionally bringing me down with her. I tried to run away, I really did, run far away into my brothers' and father's safety, but she caught me. She punished me by moving away, forcing me to use my own powerful abilities to create a castle and locking me away in a room, quarantining me from the rest of the Earth. I haven't seen any of them since.

I'd been there for a total of nine months and nothing had changed. There was still no one to talk to and nothing to do, me not even being allowed to go outside like any normal teenager. I just wished I could escape that hell of a palace and move on with my brothers and my father. One thought kept returning to the front of my head every moment I paused to relax: the thought of them forgetting about my existence and moving on happily whilst I was thinking about them every time my heart took a beat.

I'd always wanted to escape. I had a plan and everything, because it wasn't like mother was always in the building anyway. She would continuously just leave me in the castle stranded, writing a long list of chores for me to do before she returned home. She just wandered off everyday, doing something to ruin other people's lives whilst I was always there, in the exact same palace I had been for months. It was always: dust the tables, clean the windows, wash the laundry, scrub the dishes, polish the floors and sort out the chests, but never something for my own benefit. It was always for her. Only her.

Everyday was the same routine. As soon as I finished the hundreds of chores, I would retreat back to my room and dreadfully wait for the second Mother got back, preparing myself to be yelled at for how much of a bad job I did. It wasn't like she could do any better, all she knew how to do was turn people's lives into a living nightmare, mine being the perfect example.

If, one day, I did decide to run away, it would be the best day of my life. Freedom, peacefulness, the fresh air breeze - it would be perfect. Until Mother would find out and multiply my punishment by the thousands. That was the reality of it, which was exactly why I hadn't stepped a foot outside. I had never gone against her orders, never even tried, because I was too scared of the consequences. If I had an ounce of bravery then I would be gone, vanished into the wind and trees, but I had none of it.

I'd dreamt of the day too many times to count and thought of all the possible ways I could do it. I could ride my horse away into the horizon. I could run into the forest towards the Dream SMP and find my brothers. I could run as far away from the castle as someone could and hide for the rest of my life. The options I had created were vastly different, but all lead back to the same outcome. Mother would find me, she always would, no matter how far away I ran. At least, that was what I thought. I didn't have the guts to test it.

Another problem for me was that I didn't have any navigating skills whatsoever. In my bloodline, those skills were passed down to Technoblade, my eldest brother, and not me, so I had always relied on either Techno himself or a map, which I didn't think was in any of the chests of the castle. I had sorted all of them multiple times and never laid eyes on a map, let alone one to the adored city my brothers inhabited.

One day I would, in the future, run away in search of my family, hoping to reunite us, be together as a whole again, or maybe that was all too surreal. 

I could only wish that would happen. I could only wish that could happen. If only I had that one small ounce of bravery then I could, I just had to find it.

1175 words