Unfunny Tfp Oneshots/Bloopers

How The Autobots Would React To You:

Hugging them

Optimus: *stares at you confused*
"Uh, thank you (y/n)"

Ratchet: *gets all huffy and grumbles but secretly loves it*
"Primus can't you leave me alone!"

Arcee: *tries to get out of it but quickly gives up*
"Stop- I don't need- ugh, fine."

Bulkhead: *gives you a massive hug*
"Hey (y/n)! Let's go find Miko so she can join in!"

Bumblebee: *hugs you back and falls asleep*
"Thanks for the... hug (y/n)... sleeping noises

Smokescreen: *hugs you before dragging you off somewhere to show you something*
"Let's go let's go! Get wrecked Bee (y/n) hugged me!"

Ultra Magnus: *immedietly stops you but doesn't tell you off*
"Soldier, that is very- that is very innapopriate- sigh just don't do it again... maybe."

Wheeljack: *stops and pats your head*
"Ugh, thanks kid. You're getting as bad as Bulk."

Giving them the bird:

Optimus: *stern look*
"Please refrain from such gestures around the children."

Ratchet: *does it back* *the throws a wrench*

Arcee: *obviously restraining herself*
"I'd better not see you doing that again, who knows what'll happen next time."

Bulkhead: *visibly hurt*
"Oh, uh, I don't think you should be doing that..."

Bumblebee: *also visibly hurt*
"Oh..."

Smokescreen: *doesn't know what that means*
"What are you doing? Can I do it? How are you doing it? Show me!"

Ultra Magnus: *lectures you* (duh)
"Soldier that is extremely inappropriate, if you do that ever again I will see that you are appropriately punished."

Wheeljack: *whistles*
"Lookin good like that."

Getting Hurt:

Optimus: *get worried and carries you to Ratchet*
"Are you alright? Let me take you to Ratchet"

Ratchet: *calmly patches you up*
"Can't anyone go a day without getting hurt?"

Arcee: *gets overprotective immedietly and stops people coming near.
"Nobody else is going to hurt you."

Bulkhead: *panics and breaks things trying to help*
"Oh no, are you alright? Uh oh, ok, are you hurt?"

Bumblebee: *takes you to Ratchet and becomes very clingy*
"I don't want you to get hurt ever again!"

Smokescreen: *makes sure you're alright before going back to doing dangerous things*
"It'll be fine, just a couple scratches right?"

Ultra Magnus: *is concerned and orders you to rest*
"You shall not partake in any more dangerous activities!"

Wheeljack: *doesn't really know what to do but assumes you're alright*
"Up you get kid, couple of scrapes that's all."

Getting sick:

Optimus: *checks in on you every few hours*
"Get better soon"

Ratchet: *takes care of you and endlessly fusses over you*
"Let me check your temperature- yes I know I took it half a minute ago just hold still-"

Arcee: *goes for a drive out of worry*
"Please don't get any worse."

Bulkhead: *sits by you all day telling jokes and stories*
"Oh yeah! And there was this one time when..."

Bumblebee: *worries himself sick and ends up hugging you despite Ratchet protesting*
"I don't like it when you're sick :("

Smokescreen: *gets upset and sulks all day*
"It's no fun without (y/n)"

Ultra Magnus: *hides his concern but checks in on you routinely*
"Has your status improved yet?"

Wheeljack: *tells you war stories the whole time*
"Once, on a mission we got to use so many bombs it was CRAZY!"

Having to make up after a fight:

Optimus: *gladly accepts your apology*
"I apologize for my actions (y/n)"

Ratchet: *waves off your apology*
"Yeah yeah, same or whatever."

Arcee: *sulks for a while before finally accepting your apology*
"Fine! This doesn't mean we're cool or anything though."

Bulkhead: *accepts your apology and hugs you*
"I'm sorry! Oh heh I should probably put you down..."

Bumblebee: *nods in agreement and hugs you*
"I missed hugging you!"

Smokescreen: *accepts your apology and drags you out racing*
"I wanted to make up the whole time I swear!"

Ultra Magnus: *breaths down everyones necks for a while before you apologise*
"Good. Don't disrespect a superior officer again that way."

Wheeljack: *acts like it never happened*
"Yeah whatever."
"Lets go blow up something."

Getting in a fight at school:

Optimus: *tells you not to do that again but secretly wants to punch the person who hurt you*
"Violence is never the answer."

Ratchet: *clenches fists*
"Who was it. They're going to need a doctor after this."

Arcee: *starts training you for another fight*
"You'll break your hand punching like that"

Bulkhead: *protects you from everyone else and obviously wants to get rid of the other person*
"No fighting, but who was it?"

Bumblebee: *gets overprotective and demands to know who did it*
"I want them to know not to mess with you"

Smokescreen: *tries to go after them*
"I'll show them who they're messinf with!"

Ultra Magnus: *lectures you but keeps it short and is bad at hiding his concern*
"It is bad habit to start fights."

Wheeljack: *laughs it off and gets you to tell him everything*
"You should see the other guy though, right?"

More long breaks :/
I've almost finished a longer oneshot though so hopefully that'llbe out soon!
Hint: it has something to do with another thing that happens in this one.
For example: Miko getting in a fight