Unfunny Tfp Oneshots/Bloopers

Even More Incorrect Quotes

I didn't have the time or brainpower to write a Halloween Oneshot chapter I'M SORRY AND VERY BURNT OUT-

AU where Ultra Magnus has emotions he just hides them from everyone but OP and Ratchet.

Optimus: Ok Team settle down! If we do not get to sleep soon, we will hate ourselves in the morning!
Ratchet and Ultra Magnus, in sinc: I already hate myself plenty, Sir.
Optimus, concerned: We are definitely talking about this tomorrow...

'Can I copy your Homework?'
Optimus: Yeah I can help you with it!
Bumblebee: Yeah Sure!
Wheeljack: HAH Homeworks for NERDS-
Arcee: LOL nope.
Bulkhead: Wait, we had homework??
Ratchet: *Read 5:15pm*

Starscream: *Screams*
Wheeljack: *Screams louder*
Starscream: *Screams even louder*
Wheeljack: *Schreeches his voicebox into dust*
Starscream: *Continues Screaming*
Megatron: WHAT THE FRAG ARE YOU DOING? THIS IS A WAR ZONE NOT A FRAGGING SINGING CONTEST??!?
Soundwave: *Uses the Resonanse Blaster*
Everyone: ...
Starscream, begrudgingly: Ok you win-

Megatron: How petty can you get?
Knockout: I once edited a Wikepedia page to win an argument against Shockwave even though I was wrong.
Megatron: ...
Megatron, visibly excited: What was his face like when he realised he'd lost?

Starscream: You ever get so tired you start seeing spiders?
Soundwave: Me after working for a 42 hour shift and keep seeing the hat man.
Starscream: exCUSE ME??
Soundwave: Suddenly this is not a safe place.

Ultra Magnus: Snow has made me feel some type of way
Optimus: That's hypothermia.
Ultra Magnus: Oh, Ratchet told me it was the Magic of Christmas Spirit.

Optimus: Bilingual people do not owe you perfect grammar.
Jack: Yes but one owes me money.

Starscream: Megatron isn't answering his comms
Soundwave: I'll comm him.
Knockout: Me and Starscream have tried six times each, he isn't going to-
Megatron, on Comm: Hello?

Ratchet: Sometimes I wonder if I’m hearing voices.
Ratchet: Then I remember that’s the last bit of sanity I have trying to get me to fall asleep at a reasonable time.

Wheeljack: I'm so tired of this life. I want to be a roomba. I want knives taped to me. And I want to be set loose.

*Shockwave is speaking on the phone*
Shockwave: Yeah, I'm with Knockout.
Knockout: Im fucking dying-
Shockwave: Yep, he's okay.
Knockout: I have a knife in my chest!
Shockwave: No, he can't talk right now. He's sleeping, sorry.
Knockout: IM BLEEDING OUT-

June Darby: Are you this rude to everyone?!
Ratchet: Yup.
Ratchet: Don't think your son's special.

Bumblebee: Oh man, you have any shaving cream?
Wheeljack: No, I don't like the way that it tastes.
Bumblebee: Wait... you eat shaving cream?
Wheeljack : No. Why would I eat it if I don't like the taste?

Knockout: I’m in love with you.
Starscream: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.
Knockout: I know.
Starscream: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

Miko: If you took a shot for every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be?
Arcee: Maybe a bit tipsy?
Ratchet: Drunk.
Smokescreen: Wasted.
Wheeljack: Dead