Unfunny Tfp Oneshots/Bloopers

Biology with June & Ratchet

I lied this is my revision now- cuz it makes sense and I might actually remember stuff now. ALL THE CHAPTERS WILL BE LIKE THIS UNTIL DECEMBER IM SORRY Also this is so OOC but it fits the characters/plot so-
(I might make more depending on how much time I have)

Ratchet: Hmm, that's confusing...
June: What's confusing?
Ratchet: Human Biology, you don't have wires and circuits...
June: Oh, you're right. Humans have Bones and Veins and Capillaries... there's a lot of stuff.
Ratchet: *groans in frustration* I give up! It's too complicated! Woe betide the humans if they get injured.
June: I could help, I had to do Medical School too you know...
Ratchet: Hmm, keep it simple though. I'm supposed to be decoding these files *gestures to computer*
June: Don't worry, I'll dumb it down!
Ratchet: Don't make me change my mind.
June: Alright, alright, I was only joking!

*Five minutes and an Energon grab later*

June: Okay, so what do you need to know?
Ratchet: First of all, the Blood. It doesn't make sense! Why does it have different colours, and what's the point of having different types? Surely they do the same thing?
June: Ok slow down, slow down. First of all, the Blood doesn't have different colours, it's only red. The colours are actually just to distinguish the different types from each other.
Ratchet: ...oh. Why are they named after colours then?
June: um, I don't know.
Ratchet: Right, so what about the other stuff then?
June: I think it would be easier if I start from the beginning.
Ratchet: The beginning?
June: Well, I'll teach it in the order I was taught it in.
Ratchet: Oh, ok.

June: Ok, so the blood transports materials and heat around the human body, and helps to protect us from disease. The blood is made up of Plasma, Red Blood Cells, White Blood Cells, and Platelets.
Ratchet: Hmm... I've never heard of Plasma before, it sounds dangerous...
June: Hardly! Plasma is a liquid that makes up around 55% of blood!
Ratchet: Whats the point of it though?
June: It transports Carbon Dioxide, Digested Food, Urea, Hormones and Heat around the body.
Ratchet: Oh, so in the blood only 45% of it is those Blood Cells?
June: and Platelets, but yes!
Ratchet: Whats a platelet?
June: We'll get to that in a minute!
Ratchet: *annoyed huff*

June: Red Blood Cells transport Oxygen for Aerobic Respiration! These absorb the oxygen in the lungs, pass through narrow blood vessels, and release oxygen to the cells that need it for the Respiration.
Ratchet: I forgot you humans need Oxygen.
June: *ignoring him* They have several adaptations, so listen closely.
June: First of all, they contain Haemogoblins. These are red proteins that combine with Oxygen. Red Blood Cells also have no nucleus so they can contain more Haemogoblin. They're all also flexible so they can fit through blood vessels and have a biconcave shape to have as much surface area as possible. They also have very thin cell membranes to-
Ratchet: To get as much Oxygen absorbed as possible?
June: Exactly. Although the proper word is diffusion.
Ratchet: That's what I meant.
June: Ok whatever...

June: White Blood Cells are more confusing.
Ratchet: Ohhh Primus.
June: There are several types of White Blood Cells.
Ratchet: I just want to know what Platelets are. I'll even say Please.
June: SHHH!
June: Ok, so there's Lymphocytes and Phagocytes-
Ratchet: I thought you weren't allowed to say that word.
June: ...
Ratchet: What? I can have a sense of humour when I want to.
June: Alright, before I was rudely interrupted-
Ratchet: Just saying, don't let Miko hear you saying that.
June: Ratchet, for the love of God, SHUT UP.
Ratchet: Opinion Noted.
June: Ok, Lymphocytes make up about 25% of White Blood Cells. They are part of the bodies immune system, when a foreign microorganism enters the body it sends out proteins called Antibodies.
Ratchet: Hmm.
June: No sarcastic comment?
Ratchet: *glaring*
June: 70% of White Blood Cells are Phagocytes-
Ratchet: *snorts*
June: Oh my God you are so childish.
Ratchet: I am not!
June: You just laughed at a word. A WORD.
Ratchet: A funny word.
June: I- I just give up. I can't even deal with you anymore.
Ratchet: Wait no, I'll stop.
June: Fine. But if you make one more comment, I swear-
Ratchet: Ok Ok I'll be quiet, jeez
June: Sometimes I wonder if Wheeljack has the power to possess you.
Ratchet: Am I not allowed to have a personality?
June: No.
Ratchet: ...
June: As I was saying, Phagocytes make up 70% of White Blood Cells. They are also part of the immune system but instead of making Antibodies, they destroy Pathogens such as Bacteria!
June: They do this by surrounding the bacterial cell and enclosing it in a vacuole.
Ratchet: Whats a-
June: An empty space, shh.
June: Enzymes are then secreted into the vacuole to destroy it.
Ratchet: Ok? So can we go onto Platelets now?

June: *sigh* Platelets are released when the skin is broken, they form a crust to prevent infection.
Ratchet: ... is that it?
June: Yes.
Ratchet: All of that waiting... for one sentence?
June: So you don't like Platelets?
Ratchet: Oh sure I do, I just expected more detail...
June: *sigh* There's no pleasing you...