Unfunny Tfp Oneshots/Bloopers

Valentine's Day Ships!

Megatron× Optimus

Optimus walked up onto the elavator without looking once at the team he once trusted. He didn't even look back to see if anyone had followed him through the bridge, just closed his optics shut tightly and embraced the darkness.

He needed time alone.

Optimus vented deeply as the cold air hit his faceplates and opened his optics to meet the fluorescent beauty of the stars twinkling above the base.
Tears flooded upwards as the last of his shock left him, in longer hiding the bitter impact of how he had lost his team.

The ground swayed and Optimus fell to the floor, he looked down to see a deep wound in his pede and one halfway up his leg (What are they called?) and grimaced. But suddenly, out if the corner of his eye, there was a streak of grey and purple.
"Well, well, well, what do we have here..." A snarling voice commented, but it wasn't as hate filled as it should be.

Megatron kneeled silently and lifted Optimus' helm in his servo.
"M-Megatron..." Optimus rasped weakly, for his wounds were sapping the little energy he had left.
"I know..." Megatron said, his voice now painfully similar as to Megatronus'.
"You were always the light of my life..." He continued, "And even if you dint see me the same way, I miss you, I love you..."
He paused, "Op-Optimus..." he tried to choke out through tears,
"I know..." Optimus said and they smiled at each other, and their bond was sealed.

Megatron gasped as he felt his spark burn at the pain his spark mate was in.
"Go, go to your team and get help, I was never here!" Megatron hurriedly gasped and transformed, but not before giving a small kiss to Optimus, and then he was gone.
Optimus smiled despite the pain because he now had someone he could let out his emotions. Something he couldn't do when you were the leader of a war.

Everything was going to be okay.

Breakdown × Knockout

"Sweetspark where are you?" Knockouts voice carried through the med bay happily, and Breakdown smiled even though he knew Knockout was going to kill him.

All those happy years they spent together, spark mates, with happy smiles breaking the tension in those dark times. He loved Knockout so much, nobody would ever come between them ever again after he returned weeks after Arachnid apparently killed him. He remembered Knockout sobbing into his frame after he had hurled a large paint can. Breakdown was overcome as Knockout had refused to leave his side, resulting in a few vehicon deaths and a very angry Megatron. But neither had cared and now they were a happy couple with both alive.

But now it had all gone to waste. Breakdown knew Knockout wasn't going to forgive him now.

"Sweetspark?" Knockouts voice was worried now and Breakdown could sense his Spark mate walking towards the closet he was hidden in.

That's when Knockout opened the door to reveal a terrified Breakdown desperately trying to hide two pieces of something behind his huge (Wink wink) (Knockout you dirty bot) aft.
"Breaky what's wrong?" Knockout asked, fear drifting away from his voice and resuming it's proper position.

Then knockout saw just what breakdown was hiding.

"My buffer..." Knockout stood in shock before shouting loudly "Breakdown you stupid stupid con! I thought she got you AGAIN!" He looked close to tears.
"No... I'm okay... " Breakdown said slowly before Knockout climbed in and kissed him. But suddenly they were plunged into darkness as the door slammed shut and locked.
A distinct video recording of Breakdown laughing sounded and became quieter as the culprit obviously became Soundwave.

"Oh well, I get to spend time with you"

Bumblebee × Smokescreen

"Hellooo?" Smokescreen hollered down the empty Hall. No response.
"HELlloooooo?" He said again loudly.
"SHUT THE FRAG UP"
Now I know Bee is still at base. And the only other bot here is Ratchet... A smile spread along Smokescreens faceplates. A dirty one.
He walked down the hallway silently and opened the door.
"SCRAP SCRAP SCRAP!" Bumblebee yelled in his glitchy voice.
"Uhhh hello..."
Smokescreen smiled again and Bumblebee saw it.
"You dirty-"
"EP EP EP!"
"You sound like Ratchet"
"Oh well"

Smokescreen looked at Bumblebee right in the optics and bumblebee hummed before running in and knocked him over onto the floor and pinning Smokescreen onto the floor and swooping in for a kiss.
"You are so- I dont know- I'm too young..."
"And they say I'm a rookie"
"Fine I'll go then"
"Wait no I'll stop!"
"Fine"

And after that, Ratchet was hellbent on getting soundproof doors.

The end.

Well not really I tried to make non sad ones but I just cannot make the Megsy and Optimus ones right... *Says cockily* "OH WELL"