Unfunny Tfp Oneshots/Bloopers

The June Darby award

June was having a bad day. Actually, scratch that. She was having a tough life.
Her shifts at the hospital seemed to get longer every day, with people being idiots and patients being unhelpful.
Driving home was boring, car idling in the storm of traffic like a daydreaming child. The honks and angry shouts of people around her would never blend into the background, the silence of the radio that she couldn't afford to fix leaving her with no distraction.
Arriving home, she would find that Jack, her only family, was not there, preferring to stay amongst his alien friends until nightfall.
The note she had left that morning, listing food she had asked him to buy, left untouched on the counter.
She would sigh, her sorrow echoing around the empty house, and retreat to the sofa. The TV would blink with static before it loaded, leaving her with 90 seconds of torturous time where she had no distraction from how terrible she felt.
She'd sit there for an hour, maybe two, until Jack came home, perhaps at 9 or 10pm.
She'd offer to buy pizza, or go out for dinner, and he'd say he'd already eaten with his friends.
Of course he had.
She'd sit silently as her only child drifted off to his room, wishing that he cared for her as much as he did Arcee.
At 11, She'd retreat to bed. Setting an alarm for 6am and turning off the lights.

This routine would repeat, day after day. Week after week. Year after year. Just as it had since Jack was born.

No friends, no family, just work.

"I don't understand why she said no! It's literally 10 bucks."
The kids were draped across the sofa in the human area, idly chatting about the plans they were unable to carry out.
"My mum said yes, but my dad said he'd lock me out if I stayed out that late."
"My parents couldn't give a damn, as long as I'm not dead."
"Well lucky you Miko."

They had wanted to go bowling that night, having fun like any other normal kid would on a hot summer night.
"Your mum wouldn't spot you ten dollars? That's harsh man."
"Tell me about it."
Jack sighed and rolled his head back, staring into the small fan the kids had positioned next to the sofa in an attempt to stay cool.
Miko sat up, stretching, and walked over to the TV, fiddling with the cables instead of talking.

"Well, maybe she needed it for something." Raf suggested, his usual jumper nowhere to be seen. He looked strangely small without it, the bulk of the thick fabric making up for a large amount of his size.
"Ten bucks? What was she gonna need it for? Yeah, we're skint but not that skint, Raf."
"Maybe she wants to get takeout?"
"She wants to get takeout every night, she's asked me every day for like three years."
"Does she ever get it though?"
"Nah, she just eats a bag of crisps or something and then goes to bed."
"Maybe she's waiting for you to eat with her."
"If she really wanted me to eat with her, she'd cook something."

The two boys were interrupted as Ratchet walked past. His footsteps caused a slight quake in the sofa and he looked over to them, squinting slightly.
"What are you talking about?"
The three looked between them and then back at Ratchet.
"Uh, just that we wanted to go out but we can't."
Ratchet made a huffing noise, one that the kids were sure was just something he had to do every few minutes.
"Why not?"
Jack tilted his head slightly,
"You're interested?"
"Anything that gets you three away from my work."
Miko snorts from the corner, not bothering to cover her face with her hand.
"Oh. Well, we wanted to go bowling but Jack's mum said he'd have to pay for it, and he's ten bucks short. She didn't even give him that!"
Ratchet raised an optic ridge,
"Well, that's disappointing. I hoped I could have an evening with having to listen to you three being idiots."
"Even more disappointing that my mum couldn't give her only kid ten bucks." Jack muttered, looking away.

"Excuse me?"
Raf winced at the sound of Ratchets tone.
"I'm her only family, and she won't even spare a tiny bit of money so I can have fun!"
Ratchet frowned, clearly annoyed.
"I hope you don't speak to her that way."
Furrowing his eyebrows, Jack sat upright.
"She clearly doesn't care enough to notice if I do. Besides, I only speak to her once a day! There's no chance to be rude."
"Once a day?"
"Yeah, she leaves at 7 so I'm in bed, and she comes back at like 8. When I get back I want to go to bed!"
Ratchet looked downright pissed at that.
"You're telling me that your mother works close to 12 hours a day, in a hospital, and comes home to an empty house. Then you don't bother to even talk to her, or eat with her? You're complaining that she doesn't cook when she gets home from work at 8pm, why don't you cook for a change?"
This clearly wasn't what Jack wanted to hear.
"She didn't give me the money! I-"
"Oh no, your loving mother didn't give you some of the money she needs to feed and clothe you! However will you survive?"
Raf quickly crept towards Miko, anxiety clear on his face that opposed the girls excitement.
"Your mother works hard for very little money, Jack. She is doing her best to keep you safe and looked after, alone! You're her only family, quite probably her only friendly interaction she gets every day. You are being nothing but rude and entitled! I wouldn't want to come home to deal with you after a long day at work."

The humans were speechless.
"Honestly, your mother deserves an award. She pepper-sprayed Knockout, and drove through a storm and into a tornado because she thought you were in danger here. You should be thanking her."

Ratchet shook his helm, stomping off back to his station like a storm cloud.
"Well... he's not wrong?" Raf said, without confidence.
"That... that..." Jack couldn't find the words,
"Is that really what it's like?"
The other two glanced between each other.
"Yeah dude, your mother rocks."
Jack looked at his feet, ashamed.
"I need to do something about this."

----------------
Another mentally draining shift at the hospital, full of dramatic patients, condescending doctors, and loud waiting rooms.
The night was quiet, the Tuesday evening holding no traffic. She sat in her driveway for longer than needed, door open. It was warm outside, much warmer than in the cold, sterilised hospital.
June took a deep breath and stepped out.

She unlocked the front door with a click, her keys jangling loudly.
She stepped into the hallway, not paying attention to her surroundings and locked the door behind her.
Wandering into the house, almost in a haze of exhaustion, she expected silence and stuffiness of an unkempt house to meet her.
Instead, the smell of eggs and bacon, and slightly burnt toast, met her nose. She focused on the kitchen, the light on and flickering.
She placed her bag and keys on the coffee table, curious, and walked into the kitchen.
There it was.
A laid table, warm food, full shopping bags by the pantry, and three grinning children.
"Hey mum! Uh, welcome home!"
June didn't know what to say or do. The two other children, ones that she'd spoken to only a handful of times, were sat at the table happily, smiling up at her.
Jack placed a large plate of toast with butter onto the table, next to the eggs and bacon.
"I thought you might like a homecooked meal! So I made breakfast for dinner. 'Cause... I don't know how to make anything else."
He rubbed his neck, embarrassed.
Raf, the youngest, stood up suddenly.
"Jack, the award!"
Jack straightened, smiling again.
"Oh, right! We made you something," he said, walking and picking up a thick sheet of cardboard, "here!"
June took it from his outstretched hands, still in a daze, and stared down at the carefully drawn bubble letters written into the cardboard.

*The June Darby Award*
For being the most badass mother ever!

Tears began to gather in her eyes.
"Thank you."
She can't say anything more. She reached forwards and pulls Jack in for a hug before he can move out the way. Two more sets of arms join in barelt a second later.
"This is amazing!" She whispers.
"Even if Miko burnt the toast?"
"Even if Miko burnt the toast."

June had a hard day, but coming home to a family she hadn't thought she had anymore was all she needed for it to become the best day she'd had in a long, long, time.

Yay, this is really bad.
I haven't updated in a while so uh, sorry about that.
Anyway, be nice to your parents!

Extra:

Ratchet: Back on Cybertron, the patients were horrible. They'd constantly make messes and break things.
June: Oh yeah, today a guy peed into a bedpan and then flung it around the room whilst the nurse was cleaning in there.
Ratchet: Oh
June: and then his mother, bare in mind that he's 30, shouted at me because he wanted to do a number 2 and didn't have space. He can walk, and he has a private bathroom in his room.
Ratchet: That's... that's horrible.
June: Your patients never did that?
Ratchet: no, no, my patients never did that.