Unfunny Tfp Oneshots/Bloopers

Random Headcannons

-Ever since soundwave found out what a rickroll was, he rickrolls everybody he hates, the autobots don't understand

-Drunk Headcannons:

Ratchet is a flirty drunk.
A VERY flirty drunk.
You have been warned.
Optimus/Orion cannot hold his high grade. At. All.
Arcee will attack you after having too much high grade.
Bulkhead sits in the corner quietly humming or drawing badly when he's drunk.
Wheeljack will do anything to impress you when drunk. Keep him away from steep drops and sharp objects.
Bumblebee isn't allowed high-grade.
Smokescreen sets pranks for himself when drunk to confuse himself when he's sober.
Ultra Magnus will start singing when drunk (which is very rare) and he is very tone deaf.
Cliffjumper thinks he's a full-time comedian when drunk. Laughing will encourage him.

Megatron is a frequent drinker and takes it out on the vehicons in some not so nice ways.
Starscream does fashion shows and dances with Vehicons as backup dancers when drunk.
Soundwave does his work very badly and ends up with unintelligible notes the next day.
Shockwave walks into everything and yells at Megatron for being Illogical.
Knockout is used to it at this point and shamelessly flirts with as many people as possible. Bonus Points if it's Starscream when he's drunk.
Breakdown passes out after a few mouthfuls.
Arachnid has been banned from high grade.

-Ratchet knows Sign Language, Soundwave knows Sign Language, Morse Code and Latin,
Raf knows Sign Language, Morse code and some Latin,
Bee knows Sign language
Wheeljack knows Morse Code and Latin
Shockwave knows Morse Code
Knockout knows some Morse code and French
Optimus cannot sign for the life of him (but he tries so hard :( )
Ultra Magnus knows some Latin (not much)

-Optimus either loves thunderstorms and stands out in them alone because he feels free (and he can also cry and people pass it off as the rain)
Or
He absolutely hates them because the thunder and lightning reminds him of the battlefield so he's terrified of thunderstorms and hides away until they're over

-What if Shockwave and Wheeljack were actually best friends in school/college and Wheeljack looked up to Shockwaves ideas and stuff but then Shockwave pushed him away and disappeared for months.
When he came back Shockwave was emotionless and seemed to recognise and remember Wheeljack but ignored him despite Wheeljacks attempts to talk to him.
It ended up with at the start of the war when he became a Decepticon Shockwave experimented with Wheeljack and tried to take his emotions and damaged Wheeljacks ability to feel fear.
This completely separated the two and they both hate each other now.

-So I know this idea is already done by someone else but it's the one where the voices of the Bots and Cons are all different.
Starscream is a seeker and therefore has a very high pitched voice because Seekers belong to that range.
Megatron is a Gladiator from Kaon and therefore has a very low pitched voice because bots from Kaon and generally from that range.
That meant to Megatron, Starscream was just making loud and painfully high pitched noises and to Starscream, Megatron was making low rumbling noises.
So what if there's a couple of categories like
Highest Pitch
High Pitch
Middle Ground
Low Pitch
Lowest Pitch
Which means that instead of the middle range of everyone's voices there are low and high pitched voices all over the place.
So:
Optimus: He was borderline High Pitch but is now Low Pitch
Ratchet: He used to be high but is now middle
Arcee: High Pitch
Bulkhead: Bang in the middle
Bumblebee: Defo High Pitch
Smokescreen: Borderline High Pitch
Ultra Magnus: Low Pitch
Wheeljack: He just does whatever pitch he feels like

Megatron: Lowest Pitch
Starscream: Highest Pitch
Soundwave: Low (at least)
Dreadwing: Low Pitch
Shockwave: used to be High Pitch but now Low Pitch
Knockout: High Pitch
Breakdown: Low Pitch

And compared to humans I-
To the bots, most humans are middle range.
Megatron probably has a way deeper voice than Corpse who is probably lower end of low pitch.
Some humans mistake Starscreams voice for a high pitched car alarm.

The reason not many people from outside Kaon watch gladiator fights is because they can't understand the gladiators as their voices are too low.

-Wheeljack learnt Latin for a school project on Cybertron and likes to yell non-pg things at the Decepticons when he fights them alone.
Raf also knows some Latin and is surprisingly good with threats and him and Wheeljack have very interesting convorsations in Latin

"I will push you off a cliff with the Apex armor."
"I will katana your aft!"
"I'll kidnap Miko and make her play songs in your ear until you go deaf."
"I'm going to step on you!"
"Not if I cut your pedes off first!"

Yeah...
Also, THANKS FOR 8OOO (and 9000 by now) READS ILY
Actually, that was weird.
But yeah thanks
It has been ages since I updated I was having trouble with verification stuff-