Unfunny Tfp Oneshots/Bloopers

Light-up WHATS?

The base was quiet as Ratchet worked at the computer, the only sound was his digits tapping on the keypad.
The only other bot in the hide-out was Wheeljack who had been punished to a month of what humans called 'Grounding' by Ultra Magnus.
The wrecker had been very quiet the last couple of days though which made Ratchet worry every so often.
The worry would evaporate when he saw the mech breaking things and acting stupid like always but Ratchet hadn't seen him for hours now.

Just as the medic was about to leave and search for Wheeljack a crash came from the hallway, followed by a loud exclamation of anger.
"SCRAP HEAP!" Wheeljack yelled from the hall, not making another sound as he staggered in with a large coil of wire in his servo.
When he inspected the dent on his armor, Ratchet figured out that Wheeljack had managed to fall over and had the strange urge to laugh.
As soon as he looked away from Wheeljack said mech sprinted back into the corridor without a word.

The medic only raised a brow and went back to the computer.
This seemed to happen almost everyday for a week, everytime Wheeljack had some sort of sciency object in his servos.
Why he would come in baffled Ratchet but he didn't question it.
Wheeljack was like that.

The next day, everyone was in base and it made Ratchet sorely miss the quiet. Miko was playing the guitar rather loudly and Bulkhead was breaking things like always.
The medic was in more of a temper than usual and found he had a headache.
Ratchet suppressed a growl as yet another horrible sounding note came out from Miko's guitar.
"This can't get any worse..." Ratchet muttered to himself and making Optimus smile a little.
Then, as if on que, Wheeljack walked in.

"Jackie! Haven't seen you in a while!" Bulkhead cheered as he saw the mech.
Ratchet groaned inwardly and turned to Wheeljack expecting some sort of dent he had to fix before he ran off like all the days before. He was surprised to see Wheeljack looking extremely exhausted and the opposite of his normal personality.
He walked over to Ratchet slowly, not looking up as he extended his arm.
Like expected, there was a burn and a dent on his shoulder plate.

"Jackie? You want to go lob?" Bulkhead asked the scientist, now slightly concerned.
Wheeljack only shook his head slightly and walked back into the hallway with many optics in him.
"What's gotten into him?" Arcee asked standing up as he left.
"I dunno, kinda out of character..." Smokescreen shrugged, turning back to what he was doing before.

Ignoring the concern of his teammates, Ratchet turned to the computer and continued the research he was doing.
Bulkhead only stood there looking a little sad.

Another day had passed and the entire team bar Ratchet and Wheeljack.
Ratchet was taking a short break, chewing some energon slowly as he thought about the war so far.
Then the thought was brought to Wheeljack.
Over the last week he had become more and more exhausted, less bouncy and rowdy. He hadn't spoken a word to anybody for the entire time either, nothing like himself.

Like clockwork, Wheeljack walked into the main room.
Instead of heading over to Ratchet he looked around with more energy than he had had all week.
"Wheeljack?" Ratchet asked confused after the bot didn't make a sound.
The wrecker jumped slightly and looked over to the medic.
"Are you, Alright?" Ratchet forced himself to ask, sighing as Wheeljack nodded, yes.
"Then speak." He said, crossing his arms over his chassis, energon forgotten.

Wheeljack looked directly at Ratchet almost smirking. Ratchet realised too late that Wheeljack had done something. He anticipated loud music and something disgusting to fall on him but nothing happened.
Ratchet froze and looked back at Wheeljack who hadn't moved.
"Wheeljack?"
"Yes doc?" Ratchet gasped as light erupted from the wreckers ears.

"What- what did you..." Ratchet couldn't find words as he stared at the Wheeljacks ears in shock.
"Shocked, Sunshine?" The wrecker smirked at Ratchets loss of words.
"Don't..." Ratchet couldn't even think of telling the bot off in pure surprise.
Wheeljack smirked wider and walked over to the computer, opening the ground bridge for the others.

Optimus Prime walked through first, expecting Ratchet to be stood in front of the computer as he always was. He was shocked to see Ratchet standing on the other side of the room looking like someone had told him the war had been a dream.
Wheeljack was smirking widely at the groundbridge controls as if he knew something the others didn't. This wasn't a good thing.

"Ratchet? What is the matter?" Optimus asked the medic as his team filed out behind him.
"Yeah, Doc, what's the matter?"
Light blinked on as Wheeljack spoke, and the team stared at him in shock not unlike Ratchets.
"What did you do?" Ultra Magnus commanded him to answer.

"I wired my ears to light up when I talk!" Wheeljack said proudly.
"Why?" Ratchet said breathlessly.
Wheeljack stopped, his smirk dropped as he seemed to ponder the question.
He had absolutely no idea.

Three weeks later

The Autobots struggled through the cave quietly, ducking at every jut of rock trying to take their helms off.
Ratchet had joined them on this trip, entrusting Raf with the task of operating the ground bridge.

A low rumble sounded above their helms and Optimus stopped.
They all looked up just in time to see rocks falling into the gaps of sunlight they needed to see with.
The ground shook and Optimus knelt, the others following after him.
They all closed their optics as dust flew up around them in spirals and didn't open them for many minutes.
Then, when the rumbling stopped, they opened their optics.

It didnt do much, the pitch black of the cave made it seen like they had never opened their optics.
"Uhh, anyone else not able to see anything?" Bumblebee asked quietly.
"I can't..." Bulkhead answered,
"Me neither!" Smokescreen agreed
"Nope." Arcee said
"It seems that it is too dark to make out each other..." Optimus said slowly.
"Well, let's find our way to light then!" Smokescreen exclaimed and his voice carried to the side a little.

A quiet Thunk! made it obvious the mech had walked into a wall.
"This is gonna be hard..." Bumblebee beeped.
The bots slowly walked forward, immedietly stopping as Optimus and Ultra Magnus wacked their helms on the ceiling. Wheeljack tripped over a jut in the floor and groaned.
"We're getting nowhere!' He exclaimed, and gasped in surprise as the cave lit up.
He stopped and the light went out.
"Wheeljack, say something again!"

"Uhhh, We are in a cave?" Wheeljack said and again the cave lit up.
"Your ears!" Ratchet shouted suddenly, "Wheeljack, don't stop talking!"
"Never thought I'd hear you say that..."
"Never thought I'd say it!"

"What do I say?" Wheeljack asked, his mind blank.
"Ramble about something awesome!" Smokescreen said excitedly
"Uhh, Heat Transfer?"
"Heat- why do you know about that?" Bumblebee asked, "its pretty much useless."
"It's not, without Heat Transfer our systems would overheat and we wouldn't be able to move, it also has many parts to it. There is waste energy which consists a lot of Thermal Energy lost in Heat Transfer, there are millions of things we wouldn't be able to do if it wasn't for that such as our weapons, if heat transfer and wasted Thermal Energy didn't exist we wouldn't be able to fire and-" Wheeljack argued on and on, not acknowledging the barely held in laughter on half of the bots faces.

"Nerd." Smokescreen whispered.
The cave was completely lit up now and as they dragged Wheeljack on, sunlight finally crept through cracks in the cave.
Wheeljack was still rambling about Heat Transfer when they got out of the cave.
"You can shut up now." Ratchet said and Wheeljack stopped, realizing how much he had just gone on about Science.

"Nerd!" Smokescreen shouted.

Heat transfer... It was the first thing that came to mind.
Also I like Wheeljacks light up ears.