Unfunny Tfp Oneshots/Bloopers

Weird ships

Ratchet ×???

Ratchet sighed and walked into the med bay, he needed to see his prized love now. He walked to his table slowly, checking behind him with every step making sure he isn't being followed by Wheeljack or Bumblebee or anybot that didn't know about his strong love.
Only Optimus knew about this and seemed quite disturbed when Ratchet admitted it to him. But that shouldn't mean it was a weird love. Ratchet simply felt like his lover was beautiful and strong and wonderful and perfect.
Brian the wrench can do anything while being beautiful.

Optimus×a cat

Optimus was doing work like usual. The datapads in front of him were all neatly arranged and Optimus was satisfied for once in his Primusdamn miserable life. (Wow talk about overkill) He turned around to pick up the last datapad he had to see when he heard a tremendous crashing and clattering from behind him.
Optimus vented as he felt a Datapad hit his pede and turned around to see what mess there was.
There was not a single datapad on the table. They were all on the floor. Every single one. Optimus vented even more and clenched his servos in fustration as he watched a datapad spin on the floor. He looked back at the table in a look of pain but stopped when he saw a creature on there.
It was an earth feline.
Optimus picked it up carefully and smiled a little as the feline rubbed it's head against his digits. He looked at it closely as it stared back at him with its tail in the air. It was completely black bar a white spot on its nose and a collar like stripe around it's neck which was also white.
It meowed at him loudly so he put it up on his shoulder and picked up the work, forgetting about it.
He only remembered when he walked into the main base and was met with a screeching Miko. The cat was asleep on him and refused to get off.
Optimus decided that the cat was now his charge and spent time with the cat happily.

I NEED NAME SUGGESTIONS FOR ANOTHER CHAP- for no reason...

Arcee×Arcee

Arcee walked up to her mirror, she was bored and lonely because Jack was working at his burger place. She saw her reflection and was shocked when she saw another person beside her. It said to her,
Oh Arcee! I give you one wish that will come true!
She gasped and nodded,
"I wish I was not so lonely!"
The person vanished and she stared as another version of her stood beside her with a smirk.
"Hello" "Hello"
"No I said that!" "No I said that!"
"Great..." "Great..."

Ima update this later because I am lazzyy