T O R N

31

"Idiot" 

I rolled my eyes at Nancy who's making fun of me. I told her what happened and this is her reaction. I texted her kasi that I need someone to talk to and someone na pwedeng sumama sa akin  uminom. Saglit ko pa lang siyang nakikilala pero ewan ko ba but I feel comfortable opening up to her. Maybe because she just listens and comments sometimes but she never judged me.

"Bakit totoo naman ah. Magtatago ka lang ng mabuti hindi mo pa nagawa" tatawa tawang sabi nito sa akin. 

"I never thought she would've notice me" kunot noong sagot ko naman. Nakakairita rin talaga minsan ang pagiging prangka ng babaeng ito e.

"Okay! Okay!" she uttered while raising both her arms as a sign of surrender. 

"Ba't mo pa kasi sinundan?" nakangising tanong niya.

"I just want to make sure nga lang na walang gagawing masama yung mokong na un sa kanya. Sabi ko sa'yo diba, wala akong tiwala sa hilatiya ng mukha ng lalaking yun" paliwanag ko. 

She nodded her head but her face doesn't seemed to be believing what I am saying. 

"What?" kunot noong tanong ko ulit.

"Wala lang. Parang ayaw ko kasing maniwala na ginawa mo yun dahil concern ka lang" she siad sounding so sarcastic

I raised my right eyebrow at her asking her to elaborate more what she's trying to imply. 

"And what are you trying to say?"

"Wala naman. Naisip ko lang... baka kaya mo sila sinudan e dahil nagseselos ka?"

I laughed.

"Ako nagseselos? Ba't naman ako magseselos sa kanila?"

Nagkibit balikat muna siya bago muling nagsalita.

"Baka lang naman?"

Bahagya akong natahimik at napaisip.

Am I jelous?

I shook my head and faced her proudly.

"No! Of course not! I will never be jealous of them. I will not!" I uttered.

Why do I feel like I am trying to convince her.

"Fine. Sabi mo eh"

"I'm not jealous! No! I can't be"

Nakailang buntong hininga na ko rito sa kwarto ko habang nakahiga sa kama at nakatitig sa kisame. Kanina pa ko ganito, iniisip kung bakit ko nga ba ginawa yun? Bakit ko nga ba sila sinundan.

"I'm just concerned kasi kaibigan ko siya" I whispered to myself before I shook my head.

"Nababaliw na ata ako. Kinakausap ko na ang sarili ko"  banggit kong muli.

Tumayo ako sa kama at nagbihis para lumabas at maglakad lakad. This will help to clear my head. I walked and walked until I saw a convenience store in the heart of the city. Ang layo na pala ng narating ko. So, I decided to stop and eat something nice.

"This"

I reached for my favorite Korean strawberry ice cream at parang batang nakangiting pumunta sa cashier para magbayad. Matapos kong magbayad ay lumabas ako ng convenience store at naupo sa upuang nakapuwesto sa labas lamang nito. I sat on the chair, leaning on the table top while enjoying my food. Habang kumakain ay tahimik kong pinapanood ang mga dumadaang sasakyan at ang mga taong masayang naguusap sa daan.