T O R N

40

Mabilis na lumipas ang mga araw at tapos na ang halos isang linggong bakasyon namin ni Lisa at pabalik na kami ng Pinas. I am packing our things feeling mixed emotions-- sad but at the same time happy. Sad because we are already leaving this amazing place but also happy because Lisa and I shared a lot of good memories here. This trip to Greece is nothing but an amazing  experience. I thought I already knew her well but I was wrong. And I am so happy that I get to know her better. I get to know how she loves the sea, how she smiles when she see cats, how she loves watching the rain, that she never gets tired of bagels every morning, that she always rubs her neck whenever she's shy and how much she enjoys watching old cartoons like a child. All these simple things that I never knew she likes.

I was cut off with my train of thoughts when I felt her back hugging me. She's trailing kisses on my neck and all I can do is tilt my head  so I can give her a better access with a smile on my face. Walang mapaglagyan ang saya ko. Then she's suddenly silent. Her face was buried on my neck and I can feel how she heave a deep sigh. 

"You okay, hon?" I asked caressing her face with my left hand. 

She lifted her head up.

"You smell so good, hon" she said and leave another soft kisses on my neck. 

I turn around so I could face her then I place my hand on her nape. I reached for her bangs and fixed it for her then I stared at her eyes and smiled. God, I love this woman so much!

"Why?" I asked. 

She shakes her head, leaned closer and kissed my lips. Her eyes were closed, I smiled and pulled her closer before kissing her back.

"Yes pa, uuwi po ako. Opo promise. Sige na pa, I need to go na. I know, I love you too" I bid my goodbye to my father, dropped the call and  keep my phone inside my bag when a familiar car stopped in front of me. 

"Miss, Grab?" nakangiting bungad ni Lisa sa akin. Inirapan ko siya ngunit dagli rin namang ngumiti. Bumaba siya sa kotse para lumapit sa akin. Hinalikan niya muna ako sa labi bago kinuha ang mga papeles at blueprint tube na bitbit ko. Pinagbuksan niya ako ng pinto at inilapag ang mga gamit ko sa likod ng kotse niya saka siya tumakbo pabalik sa driver's seat. 

"Ang ganda mo naman po" nakangiting bungad niya pagsakay niya sa kotse. 

"Mambobola" sagot ko sabay irap sa kanya.

"Hindi ako nambobola, totoo namang maganda ka" nakangising tugon niya sabay nguso sa akin. 

"Sabi ko na nga ba e" inirapan ko siya ulit bago ko ibinigay ang gusto niya. Hinalikan ko siya sa labi at agad kong naramdaman ang pagngiti niya habang magkalapat ang mga labi namin. 

After a few seconds, humiwalay ako at sinabing, "Okay na, let's go na, baka maabutan pa tayo ng traffic" 

She nodded her head and started to drove off. 

Hindi naman ganoon kalayuan ang condo ko sa kumpanya kaya madali kaming nakarating sa opisina. Ang bilis ng panahon, parang kailan lang nung nasa Greece kami for a vacation and now we are here, back to reality. Katulad ng nakagawian na namin ni Lisa, una akong papasok para iwas issue na rin pag nakita kaming magkasama. Pagdating sa lobby ng floor kung saan naroon ang office namin ay parang may napansin akong kakaiba. Everybody looks attentive and happy. I walk towards our office room at nasa pinto pa lang ako ay rinig ko na ang mga boses nina Engr. Yoo, Jisoo, at Chaeng and they seemed like they are having fun coz they were all laughing. I caught everyone's attention when I opened the door of our office and then my eyes went wide and my heart started beating fast when my feline eyes met Irene's hazelnut brown orbs. She smiled at me and I have no choice but to do the same. 

"Hi Ms. Kim, good morning!" bati niya sa akin. She was smiling same as her father chairman Bae that was beside her.

"Welcome back, Ms. Bae" sagot ko sa bati niya. I also bow my head to chairman Bae bilang paggalang.

"Thank you" Irene replied.

  

I can see from my side that Chaeng is staring at me but when I tried to connect gazes with her, she looked away. I think she's still mad. Jisoo called me and asked me to go beside her. Lumapit ako sa kanya at agad siyang bumulong sa tainga ko.

"Grabe ang ganda niya no?" bulong niya. Tumango lang ako habang nakatitig kay Irene. 

What is she doing here? Is she here for good? Paano na ko? Paano na kami ni Lisa?

Speaking of Lisa, the door opened and there I saw the person I love smiling wide. 

"Baby!" I heard Irene muttered.

Nawala ang ngiti sa mga labi ni Lisa at napalitan iyon ng pagkagulat at pagtataka. 

"I--Irene?" the only word that came out of her mouth.

"Yes babe, it's me. I'm back!" Irene happily answered before kissing Lisa's lips and hugging her tight. I looked away trying to control my emotions and my tears from falling. It hurts seeing them together. It hurts seeing Irene doing the things I would love to do with Lisa in public, in front of everyone's eyes. But what can I do? I can't complain coz I don't have the rights to do so. She's the original, she's the real girlfriend, while me... I'm just a nobody. In everybody's eyes, I am nothing but just Lisa's colleague.

I know Lisa was also caught off guard at alam kong nabigla rin siya sa biglaang pagdating ni Irene that's why she's speechless. 

"Why are you not saying anything? Aren't you happy to see me?" Irene asked, pouting her lips.

I watched them interact even though it kills me inside. 

"I am" Lisa reached for her face and gave her a peck which made Irene giggled.

"Nagulat lang ako. Why didn't you tell me you're coming home? Para sana nasundo kita" dinig kong sabi ni Lisa. 

Irene shook her head and place her hands on Lisa's nape. Dahil narin siguro sa nakasanayan niya ay agad na inilagay ni Lisa ang mga kamay niya sa baywang ni Irene. There eyes were locked at each other na para bang walang ibang taong nakatingin sa kanila.

"Sinadya kong hindi sabihin coz I want to surprise you. Are you surprised?" Irene asked. 

Lisa nodded and smiled. I clenched my jaw when I saw her giving Lisa another peck. But my heart also aches when Lisa's smile went bigger while Irene was kissing her.

When they parted Lisa asked, "Hanggang kailan ka dito? A week? Month?"

Irene's grin went wide. She turn her gaze at her father first then look back to Lisa. 

"She'll be staying here for good na Lisa. Hindi na ulit kayo magkakahiwalay" it was Chairman Bae who answered on behalf of Irene. He was smiling, looking so happy for the two.  

I silently scoffed and my eyes met Lisa's. She too was surprised with the announcement. Her eyes looks worried while she's staring at me. I am biting the inside of my cheeks para pagilan ang tuluyang pagpatak ng mga luha ko.

Does this mean the end for us?

I can't. Hindi ko kaya. Hindi ko na kayang mawala pa si Lisa sa akin.

"Hey! You okay?" Irene said while caressing Lisa's face.

"Yeah I'm fine I'm sorry. Hindi lang ako makapaniwala but I'm happy. Of course, I am happy" Lisa hugged Irene but her eyes were locked on mine. Her eyes was like saying sorry to me.

I can't breathe because of all the things that is happening right now. I refused to believe that's why I excused myself and went outside to breathe. I can see Lisa watching me walk away but doesn't have the courage to follow me which hurts me even more.

The moment I was away from them, my tears started falling down my cheeks. Hindi ko na napigil. Ang sakit sa dibdib. Para akong sasabog sa sobrang sakit.

Ang dami nang tumatakbo sa isip ko. Si Lisa, si Irene, yung relasyon namin. Hindi ko na alam. Hindi ko na alam kung ano nang mangyayari sa amin, now that the  real girlfriend and real love has arrived.