T O R N

41

"Jen, please talk to me. Mag usap naman tayo please"

Lisa keeps on following me coz it has been three days simula nung dumating si Irene at simula nung iwasan at hindi ko siya kausapin. Ilang beses siyang pabalik balik sa unit ko pero palagi ko siyang iniiwasan at pinagtataguan. Kahit sa office bihira ko lang siyang kausapin. Isang tanong, isang sagot and that's it. Sinusubukan niya ring tumawag sa akin but I keep on ignoring her calls. Hindi ako galit sa kanya. I just don't know how to face her. Maybe because I'm scared. Scared that when she talk to me, she might gonna break up with me, especially now that Irene was back.

"Lisa please not now" I refused. Sumakay ako sa kotse ko pero bago ko pa iyon mapaandar ay mabilis nang nakasakay si Lisa sa shotgun seat. I heave a sigh and face her.

"What? Are you going to break up with me na ba?" lakas loob kong tanong wishing and hoping she would say no.I was biting the inside of cheeks to refrain myself from crying habang hinihintay siyang sumagot. Her brows knitted after hearing what I said.

"What are you saying? Of course not! I'm not breaking up with you, okay" she cupped my face and caress my cheeks with both her thumb while looking straight to my eyes. I can see how sorry she is. Hindi ko na napigilan ang pagtulo ng mga luha ko. I reached for her and hugged her tight. Humiwalay ako sa yakap namin at tinignan siya sa kanyang mga mata.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Lisa. Natakot lang ako. And until now natatakot pa rin ako now that she's back. Natatakot ako na baka hiwalayan mo na ko, na baka iwan mo na ko. Pa'no na ko? Pa'no na tayo? Ano nang mangyayari sa atin? Is it the en--"

She stopped me by kissing me.

"Stop worrying too much, Jen. What we have is different and I don't want this to end either. I want you all for myself. I don't know what the future holds for us but I promise you, I'll fight for you as long as I can" she kissed my forehead feeling the sincerity in every word she said.

"Good morning guys!" Irene asked. Andito na naman siya sa opisina namin.

Everyday she never misses to visit our office just to see Lisa. She's carrying cups of coffee from Starbucks para sa amin dito sa opisina. She never visits us empty handed. Palagi siyang may dala dala para sa bawat isa kaya naman ang bawat isa ay talagang excited at winewelcome siya dito. Bawat isa ay nag good morning sa kanya except me. I just smiled and nodded at her.

"By the way Ms. Kim, congratulations on your presentation. Sobrang nagustuhan ni client. She signed the contract because of you. You have no idea how meticulous that client is, pero nagawa mo siyang iplease and she's very impressed with your works. Tama nga si Dad, you're truly a gem in this company" she sweetly smiled as she congratulates me.

"Thank you, Ms. Bae!" I timidly answered with a small smile on my face.

To be honest, I have nothing bad to say about Irene's attitude. She's so down to earth even though they own this company, marunong siyang makisama, very professional, napaka passionate sa trabaho niya, maalaga, walang arte, palangiti at magaan katrabaho. No wonder why Lisa fell in love with her coz she has all the qualities na talaga namang kamahal mahal. Not to mention pa her status in life. Who wouldn't fall for someone like her?

The door opened and Lisa came in.

"Babe!" Irene called.

Lumapit at yumakap si Irene kay Lisa.

"Caramel Macchiato for the best Engineer" nakangiting sabi ni Irene habang nakalagay ang isang kamay sa baywang ni Lisa.

Lisa's smiled plastered and thanked her girlfriend.

Inilayo ko ang tingin ko at nagfocus sa laptop ko dahil sa tuwing nakikita ko silang masaya at sweet sa isa't isa, nagsisikip ang dibdib ko. I can see from my peripheral that Lisa is taking a glimpse of me but I remained staring at my laptop kahit ang totoo, hindi naman ako makapag simula ng trabaho coz my mind was so occupied with their presence. So, I excused myself and leave. Nakita ko pang hinabol ako ng tingin ni Lisa.

I heave a sigh. Hindi ko na mabilang kung nakailang buntong hininga na ako. Andito ako ngayon sa rooftop at nakatingin sa kawalan.

"Hanggang kailan ka magtitiis sa ganyang sitwasyon?"

I look back and saw Chaeng walking towards me. I didn't answer her. Wala ako sa mood makipag away ngayon. Alam kong pipilitin niya lang akong makipaghiwalay kay Lisa at alam niyang hindi ko gagawin yun unless Lisa tell me.

"You don't deserve this, Jen. You deserve someone better. Yung ipagmamalaki ka, yung hindi ka tinatago"

"Please Chaeng not now. Ayoko munang makarinig ng kahit ano. I'm not breaking up with Lisa, okay? I know you're just concerned about me, pero alam ko yung ginagawa ko"

"Alam mo ba talaga, Jennie? Coz it doesn't seem like it"

She hold my hands and slightly pressed it.

"Jen, bestfriend kita at alam kong nasasaktan ka na. Please tanggapin mo nang walang kahihinatnan tong relasyon niyo. Una pa lang maling mali na e. Please... magtira ka naman para sa sarili mo"

Her words caused me to tear up. I cried so hard and she hugged me. She caressed my back. Gustong gusto kong sundin yung payo niya pero sobrang nahihirapan ako. I cried in her arms for a couple of minutes until I decided to break the hug. I look into her eyes.

"Gusto kitang sundin Chaeng. I swear, I want to but I can't coz she promised me she'll fight for me. I know I may sound pathetic but I want to hold on to that promise. I want to hold on to that little hope that she might choose me over her. Call me crazy but I just love her" I can see the disappointment in her eyes.

I wipe my tears and said, "I'm sorry"

I walk away from her and went straight to the comfort room to fix myself only to find Lisa waiting for me there.

"Where have you been? I've been looking for you" bakas ang pag aalala sa boses at mga mata niya.

Hinila ko siya papasok sa loob ng cubicle at agad na nilock iyon at saka ko siya siniil ng halik. The kind of kiss that can make her feel how much I miss her. Hindi naman nagtagal at agad niyang tinugon ang mga halik kong iyon. A simple kiss turned into making out. I can never control myself whenever I'm with her. And geez! Never in my entire career that I thought of having sex inside the office comfort room.

"Wow! Did you miss me that much?" ngingiti ngiting sabi niya after our mind blowing make up session and while buttoning her polo.

"I love you" I said and help her to dress up. I didn't look at her eyes when I said that. Alam ko namang wala akong makukuha pabalik.

She kissed my forehead then cupped my cheeks and stared in my eyes.

"I love you and I'll fight for you"

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa narinig ko. Am I dreaming? Coz if I am, pwede bang wag na kong magising?

"A- - anong sabi mo?" tears started building up on my eyes.

"You heard it right love. I love you and I am sorry for making things so complicated for you. Bigyan mo lang ako ng konting panahon pa Jen to fix everything. Can you do that for me?"

"Of course Lisa! You have no idea how badly I want to hear those words from you" I reached for her and hugged her tight.

She hugged me back and said, "Thank you"

We were smiling as we go out of the comfort room. Paglabas namin ay nakasalubong namin si Irene. Mukhang nagulat pa siya ng makita niya kami ni Lisa. Salitan pa siyang tumingin sa aming dalawa. Binati niya ako and I did the same saka na ako nagpaalam sa kanilang dalawa.

"Una na ko sa inyo, Lisa, Ms. Bae"  I bowed and walked away.