His Blue Dog | Sope BOOK #1

05

2:04 A.M.

J-Hope opened his eyes, his phone ringing with a call-ringtone. He sat up and grabbed at his phone, unplugging it from the charger and looking at the bright screen.

He swiped right, and held the phone to his ear without looking at the caller ID.

"Hello?" He groaned, slow-blinking and looking at his clock.

"Hobi, I-I know it's late, I'm v-very sorry-" "Yoongi hyung?" J-Hope asked, still half-asleep. "Y-yes." Yoongi studdered out. J-Hope could hear him breathing heavily from the other end of the phone.

"I-I t-think I'm- I think I'm-" "Are you okay?" J-Hope asked, slowly becoming more aware. "I'm- Hobi, I-I think, I'm having- talk." Yoongi told him, rapid breaths coming from the other end. "What? Hyung, it's late- what's going on?" J-Hope asked again, rubbing his eyes. "I'm-I'm having a p-panic, p-panic at-attack, please-please say som-something t-to dis-tract me." Yoongi stammered out, and J-Hope realized what he was saying after a few seconds.

"Do you need me to come over-" "No." Yoongi cut off J-Hope, trying to count to ten by tapping his fingers on his thigh. "What should I talk about?" J-Hope asked, panicking himself at the sound of Yoongi struggling to breathe properly. "An-anyt-thing."

"I-uh-what songs are you working on in the studio now?" J-Hope asked, waking himself up fully in case Yoongi needed him. "Telap-athy." Yoongi studdered out, the lyrics of his part soon appearing in his head. "Can you hum the beat for me, hyung?" J-Hope asked, not even knowing the beat himself yet. "N-no sp-spoilers." Yoongi responded, but now tapping the beat on his thigh.

"Well then can you sing my part?" J-Hope suggested, knowing that wasn't a spoiler since he wrote it.

"L-let's go to the b-blue-blue sea, t-that blue sea wher-e we used to pl-play together."

Even though it was broken and quiet, J-Hope thought it was the most beautiful thing he's ever heard.

"Good job, hyung, that's right." J-Hope told him, trying to remember if he had any other parts.

After they stole Taehyung and Jimin's parts, Yoongi had calmed down enough to have steady breathing by the bridge of the song.

"Telepathy~" J-Hope laughed at the end, Suga's hands finally stilling. "Telepathy." Yoongi repeated, looking around the dark and empty hospital room, the only noise of his heart beat on the monitor filling his ears.

"Are you okay, Yoongi hyung?"

"No..."

"Is there anything I can do to help?" J-Hope asked through the phone, sitting up against his headboard with his knees to his stomach.

Yoongi doing the same.

"I don't think so, Hobi, I think I have to do this by myself." Yoongi answered, relaxing his left arm on his leg. "You don't have to do anything alone, hyung, I'm here for you." J-Hope told him, playing with his fingers.

"What's wrong?"

Yoongi bit his lip, knowing he couldn't tell J-Hope. But he wanted to, he wanted help with this this time. He wanted to tell him, so someone else would know. So someone else would help him.

He wanted to tell him so bad.

"I can't say." Yoongi blurted out, telling himself you can't always get what you want. "Why not?" J-Hope asked, wondering what could be bothering Yoongi so much to the point he called someone else in the middle of the night.

"Because it's bad, Hobi."

"You can tell me- and if it's a secret, I can keep it, no matter what it is. I'll stay silent even if you killed someone, hyung, because I don't want you to deal with it, or anything, alone."

"You'd do that with everyone else, J-Hope...and it's not a secret if I tell you." Yoongi sighed from the other end. His inner self was begging to tell J-Hope- his heart too. But he had to make decisions with his head, not his heart or anything else.

Not telling was the right decision.

"You can tell me, and I'll pretend I don't know it so it seems like a secret." J-Hope suggested. "Jung Hoseok you can not tell a single soul."

"I wasn't planning on it."

"I'm self-harming again."

J-Hope felt his heart drop to his stomach. His mouth went dry and his hands started to sweat.

"What?"

"Don't freak out or start crying. If you cry it makes it worse. Don't ask me why or when I did it, because that's all I'm telling you."

J-Hope had tears in his eyes, but because Yoongi had told him not to cry, he tried to hold back.

"I don't know what's going on with me, Hobi, everything's just suddenly so hard...I don't know where this hard depression came from, but it's bad..." Yoongi told him, playing with the sheets of the hospital bed nervously. "It's hard." Was all he said before J-Hope heard him start to cry.

It was soft and quiet, but that only showed how much Yoongi was struggling.

"I'm sorry, hyung." J-Hope bit his lip, not liking how his voice trembled. He heard Yoongi sigh, and knew he knew he was crying. Silently.

"I miss you, Hobi..."

"I miss you too, hyung..."