His Blue Dog | Sope BOOK #1

59

Yoongi didn't sleep that night. What kind of conversation did he just have?! With J-Hope, a superstar that he saw every day! God, what was going to happen next time they saw each other? Would it be weird? Awkward? Totally normal?

Yoongi was overthinking again. He cuddled J-Hope's hoodie, ignoring the bulge in his hospital gown. The thought of shower sex turned him on, but not completely up. The deep scars on his arms were red and irritated, it was burning his skin badly. It was itching because of the irritation, but Yoongi had to fight it. The nurse told him if any of them reopened he was in big trouble, aka the nice way of saying he would die. He hasn't wanted to die today, so he was fighting it.

He looked down at his lap. The night gown was thin, so his dick was clearly visible even though he wasn't fully hard. It was almost ten at night, so not too many people would come in...if he ignored it, it would go away in ten or so minutes. But all it would take would be a single rub, and his dick would twitch into full hardness.

He ignored it.

Yoongi took a quick selfie and posted it on Twitter, with 난 괜찮아 [I'm okay] as the caption. He made sure not to get his scars in the picture. He wasn't sure if Namjoon or Bang-PD said anything, because he hasn't gotten a notification about an announcement or anything.

Yoongi found himself staring at the selfie, he looked totally drained...his eyes were dark from the sad feeling that was there all the time, and he didn't have any makeup on. He looked horrible.

But he posted it anyway, he probably looked okay in ARMY's eyes. He hoped...

He was tired, incredibly tired. The cuts on his arms were everywhere, it attracted his eyes like it was something he should be proud of. He was but wasn't at the same time. He sighed, rubbing a finger over one of the isolated cuts high on his wrist, almost his palm. He hissed immediately when pain shot up his arm, he pulled away in pain. A small whine left his lips, he wanted to cuddle with J-Hope. His arms were super sensative now, and he hated it. Each cut was puffy on each side, since it was only a day ago, which made his arm all different types of weird. He hid them under the blanket he had.

He laid on his right side with a sigh, wishing he could get out of here already. Every day his head felt light and fuzzy, and his arms were a constant reminder he failed. He curled up with his legs to his stomach, there were older scars on his thighs there too.

He had all these dirty, disgusting cuts all over him, and J-Hope still loved him. He would never be able to understand why. He's independent, not a lovable person. How and why did J-Hope love him? Yoongi didn't know.

Yoongi opened his eyes when he felt a hand on him, and looked around frantically. "Sorry to wake you, just need to take your blood pressure quickly." A nurse whispered quietly, wrapping something around his upper arm where it wouldn't cause his arm too much pain. "It's okay..." Yoongi mumbled, half asleep. There was a constricting feeling around his upper arm that made him bite his lip, he hated it when his blood pressure was taken. It always squeezed him too tight and hurt him no matter what. Every second his arm was squeezed tighter and tighter he wished it was over. "Alright, all done." The nurse smiled at him. Yoongi smiled back as the pressure was released from his arm, he felt like he could breathe properly. "Looks good. Again, sorry to wake you." She stepped away, writing something down. "It's okay..." Yoongi tiredly. He was in the middle of a good sleep. "Sleep well, Yoongi oppa." She bowed because he was older and left the room, quietly shutting the big door behind her. Yoongi immediately fell back asleep, he hasn't been in a deep sleep like he was for a long time.

Yoongi woke up to the Bangtan group chat blowing up, his phone dinging quietly every second like an alarm. He whined at the sunlight peeking through the curtain onto his feet, his IV tube was under his arm digging into it. He rolled over so it wasn't hurting anymore, sighing when the pain vanished. He sat up with a yawn, but not tired. A very refreshed yawn. He felt good this morning.