Two Worlds Apart | ᴛᴀᴇᴋᴏᴏᴋ

Taehyung's Diary

18/02/2021

Dear diary!

Do you know I got a late birthday gift? The gift of freedom. Finally I can live my life just like any other normal guy. The only difference is that I'm far from normal. But I am ready to take a new step in my life. I am ready to face the world. I know I have wasted six years of my life. I'm a nineteen year old boy with the experience of a thirteen year old. I know that sounds weird and dumb. I don't even like it myself. But you already know why I'm like this.

I know I won't gain anything by crying over the past. Not when my life has opened a new door for me. I can go to college now. I can make friends. Maybe I would find someone who could possibly love me someday. I'm a loveable person, right?

I've never had friends in the past. You have been my only friend since the age of ten and I'm really thankful to you for being there with me during the worst times of my life. If I'm to be honest right now, I really doubt if I would ever be able to make friends. You see, I'm an introvert and I get anxious easily. I have difficulty in talking to strangers. I haven't even done anything exciting in my life other than just studying. The only person who talked to me was my tutor. He was always kind to me. Maybe he just pitied me. I don't know. I'm just nervous about everything that's going to happen with me in the future.

UGH!

I did tell you that I reunited with my family after six years, right? But my parents are mostly busy. I guess my brother is the only person who has spent time with me and shown me his love. Don't get me wrong. My parents are good people and they love me a lot too. But since my dad works in the special forces (I don't know much about his rank and stuff because I'm clueless about the special forces. I just know that he works at some high post) and my mom is an army surgeon, they are always busy with their work. That's why I spend most of my time with my brother, Kim Seokjin, when he is not working. The past two months that I spent with my brother have been great. He took me for shopping several times, he made tasty food for me and he took me to various knew places. He's now teaching me how to drive a car. I literally freaked out when he yelled at me yesterday because I accidentally left the steering wheel of the car and it almost collided with a tree. If Jin hyung had not pulled the hand break in time, we would have got into an accident. But it didn't happen so I'm relieved.

Jin hyung is a blessing to me. He is the best brother I could've asked for. For the past six years, I didn't even know if I'd ever be able to meet him. Like my family did visit me a few times but the time with them didn't last long. I'm glad God really listened to me and now I'm with them. It doesn't matter after how long my prayers are answered. I can now live with my family after so many years and they have been nothing but kind and loving towards me since I came back. My brother also helped me enroll into a very good university. I'm glad I maintained a good score throughout my homeschooling years so it was an easy job to qualify the admission test for the university.

I've enjoyed the past two months a lot. Yes, I did struggle with starting a conversation and a lot of other stuff but my brother did not get pissed, not even a single time. Yeah, just once maybe when we almost got into an accident because of my carelessness but otherwise, he is awesome. I really hope that my parents also try to find some time for me.

While I think everything is slowly getting better in my life, I'm still worried about my first day at university that is starting tomorrow. I have never been to school in the past six years. Even before that, I didn't have any friends at school. I was that lonely guy in class nobody talked to. How do you expect me to go to a huge ass university with thousands of kids? Would I fit in? Would I be able to make friends? Would I be able to talk to everyone without being awkward? Heck! What will I do if I get bullied?

Jin hyung told me to be positive but I'm just so nervous and scared. Should I not go tomorrow? No, that is not an option. Those people did not put their own lives at risk to rescue me from that hell of a place, just so I could get stuck in another.

I need to be a better person. I need to be confident about myself. Yes, it's hard. But I want to try. If I try, who knows maybe I would be 'normal' one day and live a happy life without worrying about anything.

Yes, I will do this. I'll do this for myself and for my family who does so much for me. I want to make my parents proud of me just like they are proud of Jin hyung. Just say 'fighting' to me and cheer me on. You're my best friend so you should do that.

See you later.

Love, Taehyung♡

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Edit: A humble request to re-readers. Please, please, please don't leave spoiler comments anywhere in the book if you already know the story. It ruins the experience for the new readers. If I see spoilers, I might just delete those comments.

Hey lovelies! This is not the first chapter. I just wrote this so you guys could get an idea about Taehyung. So what do you think about him?

Also I thought of starting to publish the book today because it's our Hobi's birthday. I wanted to start the book on a special day and today is indeed a very special day.

Happy Birthday J-Hope! You're our sunshine☀️💜

hershey_y