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Beds Are Burning

The baby gurgled and squirmed in my arms. I had been reluctant to hold her at first but now I wasn't sure why. She was perfect. She started whimpering, causing me shake the bottle of baby formula and feed her. It was breakfast time, it made sense she was hungry. Carl watched the whole interaction, being extremely protective of his baby sister.

He pointed towards me. "If you lift her head up and move the-"

"I got it." I smiled reassuringly at him. "You're forgetting I took care of my sister all the time when she was a baby. But she wasn't nearly this quiet. I would feed her and change her and put her down to sleep, she would keep on screaming. That's why I had to leave school. I couldn't leave her alone for five minutes." At the time, I hated having to take care of Tilly. She was so irritating as a baby and got even worse as she grew up. I couldn't complain now, at least I got to spend a lot of time with her.

As she started drifting off to sleep I handed her to Beth, who was about to take her to bed when Rick unlocked the gate. I hadn't seen him since he found out Lori died, none of us had. He looked different now, better maybe. He had changed his clothes and washed the blood and dirt off his face.

"Everybody okay?" He asked the people watching him.

"What about you?" Hershel replied. I could tell he had been concerned about Rick's condition all day, but he didn't want to say anything that might worry Carl.

"Cleared out the boiler room." So, Rick wasn't doing good.

"How many were there?" Daryl questioned.

"I don't know. Dozen, two dozen. I have to get back. Just wanted to check on Carl." He patted his son on the back, but instead of acknowledging it he kept a hard gaze on the ground. I didn't want to be mad at Rick, he had been through a lot. But his newborn baby was right there. I just wished he would've at least held her.

"Rick, we can handle taking out the bodies," Glenn stood up, "You don't have to-"

"No, I do." Rick cut him off. He strode over to Daryl and asked him about weapons.

"Maggie and me were planning on making a run this afternoon. Found a phone book. Some places we can hit, look for bullets and formula." Glenn announced.

"Good, good." Rick paced back across the room, leaving the way he came.

"Rick!" Hershel called, but he kept on walking. He wasn't doing good at all.

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"Have you thought of any names yet?" I asked Carl. We were sitting on the floor of his cell, the makeshift baby basket between us. The baby giggled joyfully as I shook Sophia's doll above her.

Carl sighed. "I've thought of a hundred. Carol, Amy, Andrea, Sophia...Lori. I don't know. What was your sisters name?"

"Tallulah. I called her Tilly, though. I got to name her." I smiled at him. "I don't think that's right for her, though. She doesn't look like a Tilly to me."

He breathed out a laugh, "Nothing feels right. My mom would've thought of a name. I wish she was here."

This was the first time Carl had talked to me about his mom. He tried to keep things hidden deep down, putting up a strong front. I'm glad he didn't feel like that now.

"Me, too. But, she wanted the baby to live. She knew what that meant. She died knowing there are people who are gonna love her and protect her." I replied. I missed Lori, even if we had drifted recently.

"Yeah, you're right. I'm gonna protect her. I'm gonna be a great big brother." He agreed, smiling. I thought to myself that I would protect her, too. I couldn't let the same thing happen to Carl like it did to me.