» Time Is Dancing « | » Carl Grimes «

» THIS SORROWFUL LIFE «

I Still Don't Like Him, Though

If I couldn't help in the fight, then I could at least make sure my friends would be as safe as possible. I sat at the table, checking each and every gun to make sure it was fully loaded with several spare bullets. I peered up when I heard the tapping of metal on metal, seeing Merle on the stairs with an irritated look in his eyes as he stared right at me. I rolled my eyes and took out the next gun, hearing him suck his teeth before speaking.

"You know, when I found my brother again, I thought it was a miracle. Like God had looked down on me and said, 'Merle Dixon, it's about time I did you a favor.' Thought it'd be just like old times. Then we were out there, and he started spouting this nonsense about the 'family' he left behind. Couldn't wrap my head around it until we got here, and I saw you. You've gone and made him soft." He spat with disgust.

"I didn't make him anything. You made him an asshole. With you gone, he could start caring about people without getting bullied." I replied, not looking up from the weapon in my grasp. I heard his metal hand drag against the rail as he walked down the stairs, slowly making his way over and sitting opposite me.

"Did he miss me?" The softness in his voice surprised me enough to glance up. The genuine look on his face, the one of almost sadness and regret, changed my attitude.

"Yeah, he did. But he's a better person now, you gotta accept that. I ain't letting you treat him bad again." I answered. "We're letting you stay here, okay, but only if you make good with Glenn and Maggie. If you cause any trouble at all," I cocked the gun in my hand, "I'll kill you myself."

Merle only laughed in amusement. "Man, oh man! You sure have changed, kid." He clapped his hands together.

"Daryl taught me how to be strong."

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"Hey, you seen Merle?" Daryl paced into the room with a concerned look on his face. I pointed to the door on my left.

"He went that way about fifteen minutes ago. Said something about crystal meth and mattresses, figured I shouldn't get in his way." Daryl patted my shoulder in thanks, setting off in that direction. I stood from my seat, placing the gun down.

"He's changing." Daryl stopped and turned around. "Merle...I think you've helped him see the other side of things. He wants to be a better person because of you. I can tell. He wouldn't be here otherwise." I paused for a while, shuffling my feet. I nervously added, "I think we should let him stay."

Daryl nodded in thought. "Ain't my decision, kid." He pushed the door open and left.

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"Belle? You coming?" Beth encouraged me. I had never prayed before in my life, but the Greene's were sitting at the table across from me, the Bible open on top. I sat in the empty seat, waiting to be given instructions.

"You just give me your hand, Dad can do all the talking." Maggie muttered with a smile. I joined my hands with Maggie and Beth, copying as they closed their eyes.

"Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night, nor for the air that flyeth by day, nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness, nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday."

I didn't know what any of it meant, but I didn't need to. The feeling was there, the hope that we would live to see tomorrow. I didn't pray to God, I prayed to the people with Him. To Amy, to Sophia. Jim, Dale, T-Dog, Lori. Jacqui, Patricia, Otis, Jimmy. The people I and the people around me had lost. I prayed that they would watch over us, and if necessary, welcome us to wherever they were now.

I hadn't noticed Hershel had stopped speaking until I felt a hand on my shoulder, Maggie and Beth already gone. Their father smiled down at me with kind eyes.

"I know that was something new for you. I'm glad you were here for it. And I'm glad it's you protecting me and my daughter. I couldn't ask for anyone finer." He praised.

My eyes watered with emotion, my lips trembling as they turned upwards. "Thanks, Hershel. I know I can keep you safe. I promise."

He rubbed my shoulder once before heading to his cell, most likely needing the rest.

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I went back to the bag of weapons after, feeling now more than ever that I had to do this. I considered for a moment that I was wasting my time, doing an aimless and unnecessary task. Me checking the guns wouldn't change a thing on the battlefield. I guess I just needed the distraction while we waited. It didn't take long after that for the bag to be completely full, no room for even a single knife. But we still had a while to go.

I pulled my own gun out, taking the pieces apart and figuring out how to put it back together. No time like the present. I fumbled with a few pieces before throwing them down in frustration.

"Need some help?" Rick came from the door Daryl had gone through. He sat next to me and sorted through the disassembled gun pieces.

"I don't know. I can't tell the different between the hand spring and the trigger spring." I held up two similar looking pieces.

Rick took them and explained the difference, screwing them onto the gun frame and offering it back. Once that part was over, the rest looked simple enough.

"Did you see Daryl out there?" I asked as I adjusted the weapon. When he didn't answer I glanced up, seeing a regretful glint in his eye.

"He- Daryl had to go. He coming back, I promise." Rick explained when he saw my furious expression. "It was an emergency, he couldn't wait around long."

"Fine." I huffed. As long as he came back soon.

"Good job on the guns. I like to see you so prepared." He commented.

"It was a waste of time. It's not like it helped." I complained. "What was the emergency, anyway? Something to do with Merle, right?"

Rick thought for a moment, rubbing his chin, trying to make a decision. He stood me up and I followed him outside, where he told Glenn and Carol to get the group together. Once everyone was gathered, he made an announcement.

"When I met with the Governor, he offered me a deal. He said he would leave us alone if I gave him Michonne. And I was gonna do that, to keep us safe." He paused, taking in the disappointed gazes from the group, me included. Michonne was one of us now. She had helped us so much and in return he wanted to give her to man who set on killing her.

"I changed my mind. But now Merle took Michonne to fulfil the deal, and Daryl went to stop him, and I don't know if it's too late. I was wrong not to tell you. And I'm sorry."

"What I said last year, that first night after the farm...it can't be like that. What we do, what we're willing to do, who we are - it's not my call. I couldn't sacrifice one of us for the greater good because we are the greater good. We're the reason we're still here, not me. How you live, how you die - it isn't up to me. I'm not your Governor. We choose to go, we choose to stay. We stick together. We vote. We can stay and we can fight or we can go."

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Not much left of season three now!!!!