MONTGOMERY 7 : Free Fall

Ikalabing-pitong Tugtog

Paano

"Hah? You... you mean..." I can't even finish my sentence.

Tila natigalgal ako sa narinig mula sa kanya.

Luminga-linga ako sa paligid, tila nag hahanap ng kamalian sa paligid pero napakalakas ng kanyang presensya para hindi ito maging totoo.

My bestfriend...

Actually admitted that...

He loved me...

Tumango siya. "Yes, Lia. I loved you before."

It wasn't one sided afterall...

But...

"So much. Damn freaking much that I felt different when you left me. Hindi ko maintindihan noon. I was confused. Hindi ko alam anong gagawin ko, for an instant akala ko mababaliw ako. It was just so painful and it hurts more because I don't know why I was feeling that way. I was telling myself that it's okay, it will be okay, it was bound to happen, pero sinong niloloko ko? Everyday... it just keep getting harder...But then, I realized..."

"... I felt that way because you were already a part of me. Akala ko, by not acknowledging what I felt for you will save our friendship. I thought it will keep you close to me. Kasi yun lang ang gusto ko, yung wag ka mawala. Tayo. Parati." He stopped and drifted his eyes towards the bright shining stars. "Pero hindi ko alam na yun ang magiging dahilan ng pagkawala mo. I miscalculated it. Akala ko pwede kong daanin na parang negosyo, but I lost you and also...maybe I must learn it in the hard way,"

Nanatiling nakatingin ang mga mata ko sa kanya. Hindi ko akalain na maririnig ko ang mga ito sa kanya.

I tried calming my nerves. Sinusubukan mahanap ang mga salita na dapat ay kaya ko ng sabihin pero hindi ko magawang mabuo ang loob ko.

Yes, I practiced so hard for this day.

Alam ko na ang mga sasabihin ko sa araw na pag uusapan namin ang nakaraan. Ulit-ulit, memoryado ko na pero paano... how if this is totally different from what I imagined it to be.

Never, even in my dreams...

I never even hoped for him to say that he liked me... much more he loved me.

"But I know, kailangan mangyari ang mga nangyari. Without those, maybe we... I wouldn't realize the feelings we had for each other. I wouldn't learn how to just go... for the ones you love,"

"Angelo... I..." wala sa sariling napahawak ako sa puso ko. "I... don't know what..." to say. "Paano..."

My lips were trembling, hindi ko alam kung dahil ba ito sa lamig ng simoy ng hangin o dahil sa sakit na nararamdaman ng puso ko at mga luhang gusto nalamang lumabas.

Binaling niya muli ang tingin niya sa akin at marahang ngumiti. Nanglambot ang puso ko sa ngiting iginawad niya. Parang nanumbalik ang noon, kung saan tuwing nasisilayan ko ang ngiti niya, napapawi lahat.

"Hindi ko to sinasabi para manggulo. I know you and my cousin are already together. I just really want to tell you atleast. Tutal, we already came at this point. Wala na mawawala."

Hindi ako makapag-isip. Hindi ko alam ang uunahin. Hindi ko alam kung ano yung dapat kong maramdaman ngayon.

"I am sorry..." I whispered.

But he didn't hear it.

Panandaliang katahimikan muli ang namutawi.

Sa mga nangyari, marahil dito mapapatunayan kung gaano namin nirerespeto ang mayroon kami noon. This is how it should really end. Our way.