The Last Love Of Arthur Morgan

A.M

November 12, 1916

Hello old friend, it's me. I put you away a long time ago, because I didn't think I needed you anymore. But as it turns out, I've always needed you. And like always, I need you now - you're the only one that doesn't judge me and you even let me speak my mind, as crazy as my mind is these days. The trouble is, you're just a journal. 

Well here goes nothing...

A few years ago, I lost my best friend and my brother, John. Then a year later his wife, Abigail. She just couldn't handle the pain and heartbreak over losing him, especially the way he went; Lorna believes she died of a broken heart and I think so too. 

The Pinkertons were on our asses in full force later that year in 1910. They even went as far as kidnapping Lorna, Abbey and the kids, just to get us right where they wanted us! At first we thought it was all because John used his real name when buying Beecher's Hope, but it was later revealed to us that Dutch survived being shot! The son of a bitch turned himself in and then ratted on all of us! 

So in turn, the Pinkertons offered us a deal. We find and kill every member of the gang and we get to go free. Well anything for freedom, right? We we're slaves to their obsession. We weren't proud of it, but we had to get our families back.

We weren't blind to think life could ever go back to normal, but we had to do this one final thing or else we would never see them alive again. So we travelled all over the countryside, town to town, city to city, until we located Bill and Javier; two out of the three we were planning to kill. 

Sadie and Charles were undeniably out of the question! We had no plans of killing them - we couldn't. Plus, the Pinkertons only wanted those who had a long history with the gang and a criminal record.

Dutch was a hard man to find on his own, but the man eventually left tracks. Some kind people were able to tell us of a man that fit our description. So me and John tracked him up a mountain, where he was camping out. He was hunched over the firepit, talking to himself. The son of a bitch had finally lost all of his mind. 

He still managed to pull a fast one on us again! This time, he jumped off the cliff to his death! We tried to stop him, but he refused. If he was going to die again, he was going to take himself out this time. And if I knew Dutch at all, I know that's what he was thinking in his final moments. 

We made sure he was good and dead this time before taking him in. We had to have proof of the kill or we wouldn't get our families back. I really can't believe all that went down back in those days and what's worse is life hasn't slowed down since.

Well we got our families back, but something wasn't right. It seemed too easy. We went back to the ranch and that's when all hell broke loose (again). Pinkertons were waiting there to ambush us. As soon as we got out of the wagon, they began shooting!

We shot back of course, because our families were in harms way. We managed to kill them all, but knew trouble was still on the horizon.

John...what a fool he was, told me to take Lorna, Abbey and the kids and go. He'd catch up later on. I didn't want to leave him, but he forced me to go. He told me that my duty was done, now it was his turn. I didn't mean for him to sacrifice his life for mine - hell, I'm sick, I should be dead anyway!

....But I'm still alive. 

It seems as if I'm the only one left out of everyone and I see them all flash before my eyes the moment I close my eyes at night and the moment I open them in the morning. I used to think I was lucky, but now I think I am cursed. I am the last man standing and I have to live with the guilt each and every day.