The Last Love Of Arthur Morgan

A.M

Well, a hell of a lot has happened since I last sat down to write, which was only a few days ago -feels like a few years ago now. 

We went to California to see Lorna's folks and like I imagined, it didn't go too well. First, her father thought I was disrespecting him, got mad and said a few things I didn't like, but I held my tongue for Lorna's sake. Then things got worse, if that's even possible.

Lorna attacked her step mother with a pot of tea, then ran off. The old hag had it coming, she'd said some pretty wicked things to her, about me, Lily and about our life. 

After she threw the pot of tea on her, she wrote to Rose, an ex-slave that was working for her father. Seems like her folks were the last people in the country to learn about the slaves being free. It could be ignorance or just plain choice, either way, it was wrong and I'm glad Lorna told Rose to leave. 

It get's better. On our way out, Lorna saw her horse Pepper and decided to take her. I think Lorna's been around the gang too much, she's taken up all our bad habits.

I don't blame her though, the horse is beautiful and Walker has really taken to her. I'm thinking about breeding the two, but I can't do nothing when we don't have a place of our own. 

There's been so many changes since we got married, I ain't even sure where to begin. What I've written so far, well that's just the tip of the iceberg. 

Nothing is the same anymore, everybody is leery of the other person; Dutch especially. He's so convinced that Lorna ratted us all out, I'm sure he thinks the same about me. In fact, I'm sure he does. 

He showed up in my room this morning, watching me sleep. Glad I woke up when I did, ain't too sure what he would've done if I hadn't. And I don't wanna think about it. 

We talked some and when he left, he blew smoke in my face and I coughed. It was a deep cough, like the smoke was trapped in my lungs. I wiped my mouth and there was blood on my hand and sure enough, I was tasting blood after that. 

So now I got the fear of Dutch and what he must think and now the fear of what's going on inside of me. I'm sure it's nothing, but with my luck, it's something. It always is. 

But what I fear most, more than anything, is putting my family at risk and I believe I already have. I didn't think I was putting them at risk, but I can see it now. 

Makes me wonder if I'm the curse in their lives. First my ma, then Mary, then Eliza and now Lorna. If I weren't in their lives, maybe things would've been better for them. 

My ma might've married someone who was worth it. Mary might've married someone she actually loved. Eliza wouldn't of been killed and Lorna wouldn't be fearing for her life. 

Ain't too sure what I'll do now, I just keep going around and around in circles, hoping for a change, but nothing ever really changes. That's the cosmic joke. Life stays the same, while everyone else changes. You just have to accept it.

Well I haven't quite accepted the changes and I don't think I ever will. And I won't ask Lorna to, even though she already has. And I will I never ask that of Lily. 

I know some part of Lorna hates me and I don't blame her, I hate me too. But I'm gonna show her I can change and make a better life for us, I have to or I'll lose her and this time she won't come back. 

I didn't plan to stay forever and have everything go back to how it used to be, I just hoped to stay for a week until we figured where to go to next. I was stupid to believe it'd be that easy. 

So now here I am, about to journey with Dutch, Lenny, Javier and Micah again, into the depths of the Bayou, doing God knows what for that Bronte feller. Hopefully I make it out alive, but if I don't, I guess I had it coming. 

A.M

... 

Hey guys!! 

First off I want to thank everyone for their response last chapter, it means so much to me. Secondly, I want to address a few things that up until yesterday, I didn't think I needed to address. 

If you are going to comment on my story as yourself or a character from the fandom, please be respectful and understanding. Threats of violence or harm is an automatic block and report!

Yesterday I had my life threatened by a very passionate roleplayer and he/she has yet to apologize. It started out as harmless fun, but you know what they say about that. Since then, they've been reported and blocked, so they shouldn't be contacting me again. 

So that's all that I ask. If you are going to roleplay along with the story and reply as said character, please just be respectful. Whether this person was kidding or not, you just don't threaten someone like that for any reason. 

Xoxo