The Last Love Of Arthur Morgan

A.M

April 9, 1900

I never thought I'd see the day that the Van Der Linde gang was no more. It's a sad day indeed, but also a day of freedom - the day we all thought would never happen! We feel like we were held captive under one man's law and in some ways, we were. 

Dutch ran off with Micah and Skinny after we got in a gunfight with the Pinkerton's and local lawmen. Javier left too after the gunfight and Sadie heard he went back to Mexico. We found out that he, Micah and Skinny were ratting us out to the O'Driscoll's, who in turn ratted us out to the Pinkerton's. It's been a Goddamn mess.

We've been hiding out in an old Convent up in Mount Shann, waiting for the heat to die down, but now that the gang has dwindled down to almost nothing, we're packing up to leave again. It gave us shelter for a few months, nice clean beds to lay our heads on, indoor plumbing, a real kitchen to cook in and actual heat from a fireplace. It was nice, but it's time to move on now.

The only people left from the gang are me, John, Lorna and Abigail. Sadie and Charles left a few days ago, wanting to test out the waters. If we didn't hear from them, then it was safe, but if they come back we'd have to wait a while longer. I'm assuming since we haven't heard anything from them, it's safe to leave. 

Still, we're changing our names, just in case those fake graves up on the Ridge in Roanoke didn't fool them. If they were smart it wouldn't, but sometimes people are oblivious to what's right in front of their face.

I knew this day was coming and now that it has, I feel lost and empty, unable to make my own choices. John and Abigail are having the same issues as well, but Lorna isn't. I guess, like Sadie and Charles, she wasn't as poisoned by Dutch like the rest of us were.

We plan to go South within the next few days, take our time and really feel out the situation. John and I have grown a beard out and cut our hair, hopefully we'll look different from our former selves. 

We ain't really sure what'll come from this move, but we hope for peace and prosperity, perhaps a victory. I guess peace and prosperity would be a victory, as some folk don't have that opportunity. 

I guess that's one advantage of living outside the law, having as many opportunities as you want, because there's no one there to tell you that you can't - you just go and do as you please. Despite my love of uncivilization and being free, I do realize it comes with a cost and that's my health and my family. So I'm taking this opportunity and running with it.

It's a fine mess we got ourselves into, but we learned a lot about ourselves we wouldn't of, had we obeyed the laws and lived like civilized folk. We learned that we can do just about anything we set our minds too, we know how the world works and we learned that we can survive anything that life throws at us. 

So with that being said, I hope to find a nice piece of land for my family down South, build a ranch and run it with John's help. Perhaps I'll put my words into story form and when I'm dead and gone, people'll read how I escaped the law, death and illness many times. 

I don't want to be remembered as a hero though, I just want to be remembered for being different from all the rest and dare I say, brave? I want my children to look back at my life and not necessarily be proud of it, but think about how they can choose their own destiny and not have it decided for them. 

I ain't really sure what I'm talking about, I'm just rambling on about things that are inside my head. I guess I just want my life to turn out better than it has - consumption has really made me think about what's important and having a good life to smile back on, is something I really want. I just hope I'll live long enough to enjoy it. 

- A.M