BLACK ✓

48

Promise me no promises,
So will I not promise you:
Keep we both our liberties,
Never false and never true:
Let us hold the die uncast,
Free to come as free to go:
For I cannot know your past,
And of mine, what can you know?

~ Christina Rossetti

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As the dusk started to set in and the stars wandered overhead, the chilly air whooshing through the empty roads. The moon hid behind the continuous movement of clouds that flew away and farther away towards the horizon and the stars twinkled at their brightest and the world went to bed to have a peaceful sleep.

Two empty cups of coffee rested on the wooden table carved out of sandalwood, with neat incisions of flower petals decorating it's base.

His hand under the warmth of her's, and his gaze fixed deep behind her, into the wall that was painted in a cosy brown colour. He stirred, coming back to the reality and looked at her for few seconds and then he turned away.

"I just... I've always been tired of leaving my family behind." He continued to tell her everything, every ounce of his life.

"I had to do it when I was a kid, I had to do it when I came back after years, although it was my initiative. But that... Just somehow ruined everything between us. We were a family but just for an outward show, we weren't the same as we've always been... Or maybe we weren't fine ever. But then..." He trailed off, his breath caught, staring in her eyes as they dilated with curiosity but didn't leave the calm of a patient listener.

She had been listening to him all the time, reveling in this moment of honesty. She hadn't uttered a word but drank in whatever he told her, and that had made him feel a little anxious. Her continuous gaze on his chocolate brown orbs had slowly but repulsively left him like a nervous wreck with a thumping heart and sweating palms.

Jungkook stared, and saw the beauty in her eyes, the one he had missed over these days, weeks, months. He saw the light flicker in her eyes and felt her move nearer to him. The pad of her thumb was now rubbing small circles on the back of his. A sweet, comforting gesture and he finally breathed out.

"Then I met you..." He smiled.

"I didn't lie when I said that I was just a fan, Seol, I've always been just a fan, for all the while. But then... you made me feel things, you made me do things, you made me realise that there was life other than the royalties I've been tangled into. That I wasn't just the one facing problems but others around me too, that I had the potential to help someone out, help you out, the potential to let someone get back on their feet and even if you say that you didn't do anything, in realty, in the very process you taught me how to stand up on my own and be myself, love myself the way I am. And I was addicted," He stopped, looking away once again. He sighed, read the time from his watch and gazed back at her.

"I was addicted to being myself. Addicted to the freedom, having no boundations or rules, no need to hide myself. Addicted to be able to do anything. Addicted to you."

"I realised it almost suddenly, that I love you, and letting you go was not possible for me. So, I hid. Like an idiotic coward I hid everything from you. I buried everything deep down in the black and tried to escape from it but the maze had been never ending. And telling you everything seemed like losing you. I- I didn't want to lose you, noona." There was a whimper in his voice and his eyes had whined to her almost immediately showing that he was being honest. The biggest bead of water that was held on his waterline didn't resist anymore and barged out, followed by a trail of tears and sniffs.