An Agents Life

Pain

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Maya groaned and let out a frustrated sigh as she stared at herself in the bathroom mirror. For the last five minutes all she had been able to do was stare. It was the first time she had actually looked at herself in a mirror since the beating happened. As she had refused to look in the mirror of the bathroom at the hospital while she was changing into her clothes to leave that morning.

No wonder everyone stared at her with horror struck faces when they saw her, she really was a fright.

Bruises and cuts all over her face. Some of them had started to heal up, but it still didn't look good. Her lip was cut her eye was swollen. Her cheek was bruised. David really had done a number on her.

And for the last five minutes, she hadn't been able to get her jacket off and start undressing so she could get her shower. It hurt too bad. Her shoulder would burn anytime she tried to shift it so she could get her jacket off.

Her body was so sore that anytime she moved slightly in a way that didn't agree with her body, she immediately felt tears spring up to her eyes out of the pain that it caused her. Which just made her feel even more frustrated.

She finally just gave up trying to do it herself, knowing that she wouldn't get anywhere by herself. It was moments like this where she wished that her mother was there, but no, that wasn't true. Because Maya didn't want her mother to see her body the way it was right now. She wasn't sure how her mother would take it.

So, with much reluctance, Maya walked out of her bathroom and opened the door of her bedroom. She poked her head out of the door and looked for Josh. He was still in the kitchen, making tea.

"Hey Josh." Maya called for him as she walked out of the bedroom to where he was in the kitchen. Josh turned around and frowned as he noticed that she wasn't in the shower.

"Everything okay?" He asked her. Maya bit her lip, then winced as she bit her busted lip. She let out a frustrated sigh as she looked up at him.

"I can't get my jacket off." She whispered quietly to him, embarrassed to admit it. Josh stared at her for a second, confused as he tried to comprehend what she was saying. "I need help." She said even quieter.

It seemed to dawn on Josh what she had meant, and he took a visible step back and stared her up and down before swallowing hard.

"You-it hurts too much to take your jacket off?" He questioned, his voice shaking. Maya lightly nodded and Josh took in a breath. "Uh-yeah. Yeah, I can help." He said.

Maya turned around so that her back was towards him. Josh placed his mug of tea down on the counter and walked slowly up behind her. He stopped just short of a few inches, and Maya took in a breath and prepared herself for what pain she might feel once Josh started to try and help take her jacket off.

Josh gently placed his hands around her and grabbed the ends of her jacket. He started to push it down off of her, trying to be as gentle as he could be. Maya let out a small whimper in pain as he got one arm out, she turned as slowly as she could to help ease her body a little as he began to pull the jacket all the way off.

She let out a breath of relief as it was finally off and had turned around to face Josh. Josh clenched his jaw tight when he saw the tears of pain in Maya's eyes that she was trying so hard to wipe away and keep hidden.

Maya was wearing a button down t-shirt, which now she regretted since she had to have Josh's help to take it off, too. And she wasn't looking forward to him seeing all the bruises on her body.

Maya let out a sigh as she reached up and started unbuttoning her shirt. As soon as she got it all the way unclasped, she turned back around so that Josh could help her take it off. That, and she really didn't want to see the look on his face.

And just as she expected, Josh's breath hitched behind him as he helped take off her shirt and the first thing he saw was the massive bruise on her shoulder. He touched it slightly, making Maya wince a bit. He looked down and noticed that there were Smaller bruises laced down her back and another massive one where her rib cage was, the straps of her bra seemed like they were painfully digging into her skin.

"Maya-" Josh gasped out.

"Don't." She cut him off as she closed her eyes. "Please." She begged him. "Please don't start about the job, Josh. I love my job. I'm not quitting."

He didn't say anything for a moment, but Maya knew that was what he was thinking. He had never liked the idea of Maya being in the FBI ever since she had told him that's what she wanted to do. It had always been the big fight in their relationship the first time around. So she knew, that him seeing her like this he might ask her to give it up again. Because that's what he would do before.

"I-that's not what I was going to say." He admitted quietly. "I just- I can't- what the hell did he do to you?" He finally got out. His voice held so much emotion. He leaned down and lightly kissed the bruise on her shoulder. He then leaned up and kissed her neck lightly.

And suddenly, Maya just couldn't hold it back anymore. She didn't feel like being strong any further. She didn't feel like she had any strength left. She had been trying to be strong for three months, and it was finally wearing her down. And she broke.

She was here and she was safe. She was in Josh's arms, where she had dreamed about every night for three months. But then there was Carrie and Michael and Max, who weren't here. And everything finally just seemed to hit her.

She let out a choked sob. And then another one. And then another one. And then suddenly she felt her legs give out, and she was on the floor. But she felt arms wrapped around her from behind, one arm around her waist and the other one over her arms and chest.

Maya leaned her head back onto Josh's shoulder and tilted her head to where she could cry into his neck. She held on to Josh's arms that were wrapped around her from behind and held onto dear life. His clothed chest coming to rest against her bare back.

This was one of the things that Maya had come to love about Josh. He didn't sit there and try to whisper calming words into her. He didn't try to tell her that everything was going to be okay or that she would eventually move on.

No. Josh sat behind her and held her. He held her close and gently so he wouldn't hurt her. But he held her. And he let her cry. He let her cry three months of tears that she had built up of being undercover and she was finally able to let them go.
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Thanks for reading! Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!!