Attitude

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Hey y'all! So sorry for such a long wait! I had a request for my oneshot book and it took me over 9000 words to write. But now I'm back and here is another update! Hope y'all enjoy!!
____________________________This. This right here was the hardest part of the job. Having to break to someone that there loved one wasn't ever coming home. The mother didn't really care, which made me think that she might have had a heart of stone. But the little girl fell apart in Josh's arms. He had just broken the news to her that father wasn't ever going to come over and visit her again.

On the way over here, Josh insisted that I fall back and let him take the lead on this one. I of course insisted that he let me help him but he didn't want this type of burden on me. He claims that because he is the leader of this team that it's his responsibility and not mine.

I remember how much this tore Josh up. He hated to be the bearer of bad news but he hated for me to have to go through it even more. I remember when before he got the transfer to London and things between us were still good, Josh would lock me in the car if he could so I wouldn't have to tell people the bad news. Then afterwards he would fall apart in my arms because of how it would have such an effect on him.

I don't know how he dealt with it on London, if he fell apart in another woman's arms. If he sat there and cried in his apartment by himself or if he just found a different way to cope with it.

"If you ever need anything. Here's my card, please don't hesitate to call." I watched Josh give his card to the little girl. He only does that when its people that has really just gripped his heart. This kid was only ten hears old.

After Josh and I said our goodbyes, we walked outside of the house and went by the car. I watched as Josh's hand was slightly shaking as he reached into his pocket to grab his keys. I watched as his jaw would tense up and how his muscles were bulging from his button up shirt. All signs that Josh was about to freaking loose it. I reached over and grabbed his hand with mine. Josh tensed up for a split second before slightly relaxing and looking down at me.

"I'll drive." I stated. Josh nodded as he handed me the keys and got into the passenger side without a word. Josh had always been the type of guy that always just had to drive. He wouldn't let me a drive for a single thing unless he had to. So for him just to relinquish the keys over to me that easily proves that he didn't trust himself.

The ride back to the station was very quiet. I would glance over at Josh ever few minutes to see him looking out the window.

"Hey." I said catching his attention. "It's okay, these guys are being bars they won't hurt anyone ever again. We won." I told him. Josh bit his lip.

"Did we?" Josh asked me seriously. "That kid is having to burry her father." I knew this Josh. This was the Josh that I've seen so many times before when it came to cases like this. It hit him hard.

"Josh. It's going to be okay. That kid is going to get help and if she needs you she'll reach out. There was nothing we could do about Saunders. Suicide was choice he made and there was nothing that anybody could do about it." I told him seriously. Josh nodded his head.

"I'm making you an appointment with our psychologist. What you and Farkle witnessed today doesn't need to be overlooked." I nodded my head as I put my turn signal on and changed lanes. I looked back over at him and sighed.

"Josh are you going to be okay tonight?" I asked him seriously. He gave me a look.

"I'll be fine." He said shortly. I cringed at the tone of his voice. That was his 'don't bother me right now' tone of voice.

"Josh, usually you don't do well with things like this and I just want to make sure you're going to be okay." I told him. I noticed his jaw starting to clench.

"What are you going to do about it?" He asked me causing me to look at him confused.

"Excuse me?" I asked he shook his head.

"What are you going to do about it, Maya? Are you going to come over and hold me like you use to? Are you going to come and lay down with me and reassure me that everything is going to be okay like you did before we broke up? What are you going to do to help me, Maya?" He asked. I nodded my head, I knew that would be the hardest thing for him to have to deal with. We didn't say anything for the rest of our ride.

After we got back to the station Josh got out of the car and walked inside without saying a word. I sighed as I turned to car off and got out only to be met by Smackle.

"Hey I'm heading back to headquarters. There was a double homicide that took place last night a couple of blocks down the road from here. Zay and Lucas already left to go check it out, Farkle is waiting for you inside." Smackle told me before she headed to her car.

I walked into The building and made my way to Fakrle who was already showing Josh the pictures. I leaned over his shoulder to take a look Adam I got to say, they were brutal.

"I want you two to head back to headquarters. There will be a physiologist waiting for you to ask you a couple of questions. I don't want you two doing another case until I know for sure you're good to go out into the field." Josh demanded. Farkle looked like he was about to protest but I cut him a look that told him to shut up and just go with it. So he did.

"What's his deal?" Farkle asked me as we made our way outside to our cars.

"He's had a rough day. Cut him some slack." I told Farkle which earned me a shocked expression.

"What did I miss?" He asked me causing me to chuckle as we got into the car and made our way back to headquarters.
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Once again I am really sorry for the long wait. I promise this story is about to pick up as far as joshaya is concerned.

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