When we were talking I said I wish you were nicer to me. You said you wish I was nicer too, but I thought I've been nice.
What I wanted to say, but I was too sleepy to, was that the nicest is more imbedded in my words. That's dumb and stupid but I think I mean it. I just feel like embarrassing saying what I want to. I promise I'm nice.
I think I just expect you to know the nice things I want to say, but I suppose it's always nice to hear it huh.
I think it's funny that I could just SAY this to you but these days everything's embarrassing.
I wonder if you'll read this. I'm pretty sure you forgot about it though.
YOU KNOW THIS IS ABOUT YOU.
Don't bring it up, ok? I'll deny, deny, deny.
I mostly just say things I know will get a reaction out of you but I should just say what I'm thinking.
I like when you compare me to my sisters, it makes me laugh when you say we insult you the same way.
My playlists are never good because I have the most impossible standard because sometimes it feels like you've seen everything cool. I want to impress you, but I want to be genuine. Sometimes I don't know why I try so hard to impress when I KNOW you'll like it.
Sorry I infantilize you, it's not on purpose.
I'm writing this assuming you'll see it but I really won't know if you do. Please don't tell me if you do. Or maybe hint at it. Actually I'll be embarrassed if I know you did. I'll just pretend you didn't.
That's a big reason I just can't be nice the way I want to. I do not want a reaction. That's why my letters are so nice, I can say what I want with no reaction. I'm glad you liked my letter, even though I can't remember what I said. I'd write more but I don't want to repeat the same things.
These are kind of like letters you'll never read.
If anyone else is reading this I promise you it's just poetry. Haha.
Maybe I accidentally revealed myself by saying it's public, that wasn't supposed to be a hint I thought you wouldn't question it LOL! Maybe you actually won't find this though
I have more to say
