Dear Young Madison,
You're probably in late elementary school or early middle school right now. Things have yet to get bad. You're doing so good in school. You're basking in the glory of the gifted program. You're taking pride in the accelerated classes. You're making big plans for the future. You plan to go to Stanford because you heard it's a good school. You tell your teachers this and they validate you so much that you just know you have to go there. Your teachers talk about you and all the amazing things you'll eventually be. You're getting awards and praise for your reading ability. You're being complimented on the lengths of the books you're reading. You're smart. You are. But I need you to know it's ok not to be.
I know if you saw me now you'd shake your head and ask "what happened to the plan?" And to be honest, I don't know. It seems like everything toppled on me at once. You do good for a while, finishing off sophomore year with a 4.0 GPA and in the top 10 of the class rank. You feel good. You're doing good. Then the pandemic happens and everything seems to just slip through your fingers. You get below a 80. You fail. And I know you wanna beat yourself up about it. You'll feel like you just ruined your entire future. But things will be ok.
No one is really getting it. Why you care so much about college. It's been shoved down your throat with these wild expectations since you started school, who can blame you for aiming high. You're soon gonna become conscious about things like money. College isn't cheap and a degree in journalism isn't getting you very far these days. Right now you're turning your nose up at community colleges. You won't go there, you're too good. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt on that one, you really aren't paying attention to anything yet. It's hard that no one is really getting it. I found out today that my GPA is just below a 90 and my class rank is 55/180. No one understands why this is taking such a toll on me. You'll be in a call with Peyton and Ben and be made fun of for thinking you have to go to a good school, and they just won't understand. There is one person who understands exactly, but I won't spoil who that is.
It's ok to struggle. It's ok that you won't always do great in school. It's ok that you're not going to an Ivy League college. It's ok that you have no idea what you want to do. It's okay. You'll be fine.
See you soon,
Madison
