The title of this is a reference to the song I'm Serious, I'm Sorry by Jeff Rosenstock and that's because it's the only song I could think of that references skipping your prom night and though that song does not apply to my situation at all, it has been stuck in my head all night.
Other titles that could've been had this night not been weirdly emo:
- STRIKE!
- Who Mistook The Steak for TURKEY!
- *insert bowling reference here*
Tonight was prom night. Though I has my FOMO moment, I was glad I was spending it doing what I wanted with the people I loved. Which is what I had to remind myself as I looked at people's snapchat stories. I know I would have been miserable if I went. I really really know I would've, but I can't shake that feeling. I won't care in a week. I probably won't care 2 days from now. But for tonight I'll wallow in these feelings as I eat cold chicken nuggets and write this wattpad.
It started out a little shaky. We probably should've went earlier and checked when they closed. Midnight bowling was over at 12 and we got there at 10. I don't know what we were thinking but honestly had all these other things not happened, I wouldn't have been that bummed out about it. Then J***** and her date show up. It's to be noted that J is intoxicated. This is briefly mentioned to me while asking where she is. I just brush it off even though it slightly irks me for no particular reason. Buzzkill!! Me and F had been waiting for them to start and when they arrive they tell us two more people are coming. One of them I like and the other I don't even really know. We start bowling because they're taking a while. It's fun and I'm enjoying myself. Me and F are really into it as we always are, but the other two are just waiting for the others to get there. Which I didn't really mind. They get there 15 minutes before closing and they're with a big group. This is where I start getting uneasy. I'm irritated for no reason. I keep saying to F, "Dick riders, they're fucking dick riders. Why are they here," I say this out of ear shot of anyone, because I don't want to make them feel bad or whatever. F reminds me that I had posted previously on my snapchat a few days prior that it was an open invitation to come. Honestly when I posted that I didn't expect anyone to come. And no one said they were coming. It turned into everyone telling each other and I got weirdly mad. This is so stupid but it was for me and F because we didn't go to prom or whatever and I wanted to dress up and do something nice. And here come all these kids who did go to prom all dressed down just hanging around us. Might I add that these are kids who I do not like. I kept repeating to F "I can't wait to graduate and move away" I don't know why I was so angry. I might have been jealous but I don't think so.
After bowling I was trying to navigate with J what was next. Me and F had come in her mom's car because we are the only seniors to not have our license apparently. This did not irritate me. No one could decide what they wanted to do. We went to Wendy's. It was while sitting in F's moms car at 12 am trying to decide what to eat while these kids were all joyous car hopping that I decided I truly do not care about them. F's dog who was there had to go to the bathroom so we got out of the car and walked around a block away. I think F was somewhat embarrassed and didn't want the kids to see us. I hated them at that point. I was seething. I was talking in a thick albertan accent and talking to F about how we think one of these kids are going to get into an accident.
One thing tonight has shown me is that I love F. It's never until I interact with these other kids do I truly appreciate her the way I should. She truly is my other half here. Sometimes I think about if circumstances were different or I had a million other options would I still choose her. And time and time again I always come back to yes. I'll miss her immensely when I leave. I would stay just for her but I think she'll get her footing without me.
On the other hand I was reminded about one of the things I don't particularly like about J. She's kind of popular. She has a lot of other friends and that's weird to me because I'm only ever friends with other people who don't have friends. I guess I'm spoiled in that way because I get constant attention. I'm such an asshole for being annoyed by this. She can't help it. I need to get over myself.
That's all I have to say about tonight. I can't wait to leave yet I am so scared of being anywhere else. So high school it hurts. I hope we call tonight. Lord knows I need it.
Skipping your prom night, crying and praying up to a god that you never believed in
