IT'S UNMEDICATED FALL BABY.
It's getting colder in the mountains. I expected this of course, but the cold always takes me by surprise. I'm still in the phase of loving it. Wearing sweaters and feeling my cheeks get red from the cold air. Sweet October sunsets where I'm walking around campus and the smell of wet grass and cold wind surrounds me and everything is dimly lit by the light posts. It's so nice. But soon it'll snow. And then ill miserably walk to a snow covered campus in warm sweatpants and hoodies and hurriedly walk back to my dorm after. I'll try to be cozy and I'll read my poetry and drink my warm drinks but I'll still be miserable.
That's a common thing these days. I just keep getting sad for no reason. It's always present, even when I'm happy. There's a stupid Worst Party Ever lyric I've been thinking about. "Your friends aren't enough to be happy, I swear." It's silly but I keep trying to remind myself of this. I keep thinking that I have no reason to be sad now. I'm in school I have friends I'm in the clubs. I'm doing fine. It's so dumb. I think seasonal depression is stupid and I should just not have it. But whatever. Lets move on.
I'm so happy you have your friends. I honestly wish I could meet them. If they're even half as cool as you I can't imagine how much I'll like them. This is cringe but I like that I'm a known character in all aspects of your life. You are in mine too, so it's nice to just know that it's mutual. Honestly it's almost embarrassing how much I talk about you. When things happen I'll have to say aloud "I have to tell BAM about this" which is kind of silly. I miss calling you. I can't wait for your break so we can talk every day. And I know you have things to do but is anything as important as me? There's a clear answer here. I like reading you my little poetry and what not. A lot of it makes me think of you. I want to show all of it to you.
This one's short and sweet because honestly I should be doing homework right now. I have more to say but I just don't know how to say it in a way I like right now. Maybe I'll get it right another time. I love you.
