His Last Hope ｜ A Lee Felix FF (sometimes 18+) 《COMPLETED》

「Chapter 51」

On the same evening, Felix had to sleep on the couch, and Lina decided to sleep there with him. "Okay, sleep well you two."  Phil said and turned off the light. Lix was still staring at his girlfriend, admiring how she looked, even in pajamas. She was looking at him too, probably also worrying about something. "Darling, how're you?" She asked, locking hands with him. "I'm good, very good, actually. I'm at home and I'm next to the most beautiful girl in the world."  He said, putting his face closer to the girl's. She giggled and put her hand on his cheek. "You're cute. I'm lucky I have you, and nobody else." She said and they smiled at each other. For what felt like an eternity, they stared each other in the eyes until Li started tapping his cheek. "What're you doing, princess?" Lix asked out of curiousity, smiling even wider now. "I'm just counting your freckles, nothing special." She said and slapped him lightly, before pulling the blanket over her head and closing her eyes. It'd been so long since they slept next to each other. She usually had to leave Felix alone at around 8pm, when the visiting time was over. He had always been sleeping terrible in cold rooms, like those in the hospital, so he wasn't exactly rested. He'd begged Lina and the nurses to either go home just for the night, or that his girlfriend could sleep in his bed. He was sure that if she'd been there, sleeping next to him, he would've been healthy by now. But he had to understand that they just didn't make the rules. However, now she was there. She was right next to him. Felix moved himself a little closer to the girl, snuggling his head against her neck before eventually pulling her into his arms completely. Is she even still awake? He thought, since the girl didn't react. He looked at her for a moment, his mouth and eyes wide opened. Until the girl let out a laughter and covered her mouth with her hand. "Pff, you scared me for a second." He said and rested his head back on the pillow. "Yeet" the girl said and Felix shouted "YEET" back, only to realise that they weren't alone in the house and both of them laughed again. "We're gonna wake up your parents! 바보..." The girl grunted, switching to Korean. Even if Lix was an ethnical Korean, he didn't know much about the language or the country, since he'd never ever been there. And honestly, he didn't want to. He was perfectly fine here in Australia, so why should he ever leave? The only reason that would make him go to Korea is getting healthy, but what were they supposed to have in Korea, that they didn't have here? So, no way he was going to that country. Li had told him lots of stories from Korea, when she went there on holidays. But he never listened, he never cared. He would've preferred not to be Korean in those moments, so he wouldn't have to learn about this country, and people wouldn't look at him weird if he told them he couldn't actually speak the language. He would've liked to speak the language, since it sounded very nice everytime he heard his friends or Mum speak Korean, but he wasn't gonna bother learning it. "Sleep now." His girl said, putting her hand on his head and forcefully closing his eyes. "Sometimes I really hate being Korean. Every time I say my mum is Korean, people ask me to say something in Korean. What's it like knowing the language?" He asked, nuzzling into his pillow. "Well, it's like English is for you. English is your first language and korean is mine, so for me it feels totally normal knowing Korean. And don't hate that you're Korean. Korea has a proud culture with very proud-" "Thanks for trying to educate me, but I don't care about that country, sorry. The only good thing it has is K-pop and nothing else." It went silent. Was that maybe a bit too offensive? Are Koreans really THAT proud of their country?  "I'm sorry..." He whispered, hoping for an answer, but there was none. "I didn't think you'd be that offended, I'm so sorry. Maybe we can get some Korean food tomorrow, alright? Just please don't be mad at me..." He said, grabbing the girl's arm and rubbing it while tucking on her sleeve like a little kid. "Yeah yeah, whatever. It's okay, Yongbok." She said and Felix sat up. He hated that name! He hadn't told Jisung his Korean name when they first met, and the others probably didn't even know that he had one. "Why would you suddenly call me that?" He asked in disbelief. "What?" "You know, that other name..why did you call me that?" The girl shrugged. "It's your name, isn't it, Yongbok?" She said again and laughed, while Felix got angry. "No, it is not! My name is Felix! Felix Lee. And you better call me that or else..." He stopped. What was he about to say? "Okay okay. Can I at least call you haengbok? It means happiness." "No! I have a name and it's Felix. If you don't wanna call me that, then leave." He said, turning around so his back was facing the girl. She sighed. "Okay, Felix. No need to be angry, I thought you'd find it funny."
An hour later, Lina had fallen asleep, but he was still wide awake. He went through his hair with his fingers, until he felt that he'd pulled it out. A lot of it, about a handfull. Oh no no no, not my hair! God, please, everything but my hair! He said to himself as he sat up, putting his hands full of hair against his heart and starting to pray. God, please, don't take my hair! I've apologized for my sins, so please Lord, forgive me! He begged, cradling himself back and forth. If there really was a god, he wouldn't take his hair- the only thing that still made him beautiful. Would Lina leave him, if she couldn't play with his hair anymore? He ended up hiding his hair under his pillow, being too scared to touch that what was left on his head. He didn't know how much he pulled out, but he hoped it wasn't visible.