His Last Hope ｜ A Lee Felix FF (sometimes 18+) 《COMPLETED》

「Chapter 17」

„You ready for your first day of school?" I asked and Felix nodded. Like I said, it was our first day of school and just two weeks before Lix' 18th birthday. He still hadn't gotten any of the treatment, because there was still not enough money to pay for it all at once, what we had to.

Okay, sorry for the interruption (if that's the right word for it), but I just wanted to say that since this book is inspired by @SihaSmiles 'Medicine', I want to write a bit of the 3rd point of view. If you don't know what that means, just read further or check out her book! Also, sorry if there are some mistakes in my book, I'm still learning English.
독자 여러분, 고맙습니다요! 이 책을 즐기시기 바랍니다요! 네, 감사합니디, 사랑해! (Idk 한국어로 글을 쓰는 이유, 한국어자 아무도 내 책을 읽지 않는 것 ㅋㅋㅋ) It's gonna be a BIT awkward writing like this, but I'll try it out at least one UwU (나는 SihaSmiles 찐자 좋아합니다.)

3rd P.O.V

Felix was in pain. Neverending pain. Even his meds wouldn't help him out anymore. Yet, he had agreed to return to school together with his friends. The day for the year 12 students began with two free hours of doing nothing. It was really weird with Mark and Ryan not being there. Before his accident, the dance team boys always ate their meals together. Now, he was sitting with his girlfriend and Hyunjin. Lina also didn't know why Minho had decided to not sit with his only friends, but they didn't really care. „Why can't everything just be over already?" the boy in the wheelchair asked himself. He couldn't wait to start the treatment, which included surgeries, just if it would make the pain stop. If he could, he would've just put his legs up on the table, lied down as best as he could in the wheelchair and just relaxed, but he couldn't. He was in the cafeteria, together with all students of year 12. Some of the boys had decided, to make Felix their victim and poke him with a fork multiple times, until they got bored of him not reacting to it. Felix couldn't express how thankful he was to his friends, especially to Lina and Hyunjin. Lina had stayed with him even at his darkest times, where he thought he hit rock bottom. Her just being there, listening to him brag about life and wanting to give up, him able to squeeze her hand when he at times couldn't bare the pain. Even though he would've been doing that non-stop, if he had taken it fully. And Hyunjin, who literally started all the money-raising thing. He had wanted to reward those two, if he could even right now, but it was enough work done keeping his eyes open and clinging onto that last stripe of vision he had left after loosing most of the battle against the tiredness. Pills. The only real thing that could make everything just a slight bit better. If only he was allowed to take any more of them. That was one of the only things that made his long stays in the hospital bare able. Pain meds through an IV, plus being allowed to stay in bed almost 24/7. The school bell rang and a large amount of footsteps rushed through the hallway. Felix looked at Lina and Hyunjin, who seemed confused why there was so much going on outside. Realising that it was just the first hour of free time that was over, the teenager crossed his arms on the table and put his head on top of them, letting out a deep sigh. „Can I sit here?" a scary sounding voice asked, to which the only girl nodded and the boy sat down right next to Felix. He never thought of saying a voice sounded scary, because he should've been used to scary voices, since his also counted as one, scaring some new students at the school during his glory days. It was another boy who looked Korean, and he probably was, considering his accent and him understanding Hyunjin's sometimes weird dialect. Everything was awkward. No one at their table said even a word after just a few sentences. But Felix didn't care. He just wanted this hour to be over, getting closer to going home once more. Being around other kids itself wasn't so bad at all, it was just that Felix knew he was expected to pay attention during the lessons and not just put his head down on the table, trying not to hear or be seen by anybody. Felix' backpack was on the ground to his left, and he felt like the container of pills was literally reaching for him. He tried to ignore them, knowing that if he'd take any more, the pain would get even worse after they were not working anymore. Lina had told him many times before, that if he didn't want to be there anymore, he could just go, or wheel, to the office of the secretary and get picked up. But who would pick him up? His mum? Definetly not. She was working, and even if she was home, didn't care about Felix that much. The teenager gave in and wanted to reach for the pills, only to be stopped by his girlfriend grabbing his hand. She was one of the only things that kept him going. Her, and the thought he might dance again. Being in school again reminded him of the days before the accident. Times where him and Mark often stepped into a fight, trying to stop Ryan and Patrick from beating each other up. Or the times when he watched the dance team for the first time, during his first year at the school. The numerous school trips were a good thing, too. Just like their crazy chemistry teacher Ms Jones, who always managed to make her student's moods better by letting some things explode or catch on fire. Even things he thought were bad memories before, now sounded like good ones. For example when some year 12 students crashed the exams of the class 10 students by storming into the room equipped with water pistols. Or the first time he had beaten someone up for trying to kiss Lina. Knowing that he could do those things back then made him happy and sad at the same time. If he could've, he'd just started a fight right then and there, no matter with who it was, just to prove he was still the old Felix his friends liked so much. But he knew that Li would probably get really mad at him and he would've lost anyway. He didn't even realise that his girlfriend was still holding his hands, stopping him from reaching the pain killers. „My name is Changbin. What's yours?" the new guy asked the group. „I'm Hyunjin and that's Lina." Hyunjin said and slightly bowed. The only girl smiled at Changbin for a couple of seconds, before looking back at her boyfriend, making him the center of attention. „And who are you?" the man with a scary voice asked and put his hand on Felix' broken shoulder. It wasn't broken anymore, but he had some metal plates in there to keep everything in place. „Felix." he said, trying to make his voice sound as deep as he possibly could, hopefully preventing the stranger from talking to him again. It didn't work. „Can I ask why you're in a wheelchair?" the guy asked, almost causing Felix to flip out. „No, you can't." Felix said, raising his voice. „Sorry" Lina stepped in and apologized, her hand wiping over the back hand of her boyfriend's. „You have to understand, he's in pain and hasn't eaten anything yet. And, he's always grumpy in the morning. He's not always like this." Lina said and Changbin nodded. „You said it, I'm really hungry, actually." Felix said in a nicer tone, making the whole atmosphere less tense. The school bell rang a second time and just as Felix wanted to head to his classes, he remembered that it was lunch time now. Almost all students jumped up and rushed to where the food ladies stood, ready to get their breakfast, or lunch, Felix wasn't sure. It was only him and this new Changbin guy left at the table. „Are you the guy from TV?" the strange guy suddenly asked, and only got a faint nod from Felix as an answer. „Okay, then I know what's going on. Sorry for bothering you." „It's fine. Aren't you going to eat anything?" Both boys started to talk and a bit of Felix' old,caring, side came through. Changbin let out a sigh and corrected the posture of his hair. „I'm not really hungry. It's kind of scary not knowing anyone and being a foreigner with a weird accent." he explained, but Felix somehow didn't bring up the strength to listen to him anymore. The rest of his friends came back to the table, followed by Hoshu and another boy, also looking Korean. „US koreans are taking over!" the boy pretended to cheer while watching his girlfriend sitting down on the one free spot he would've sat on, if he wasn't in the wheelchair. She put down two plates of food. „I can eat alone, really." he assured, grabbed a spoon and started eating. Hyunjin, Changbin and the new guy started speaking in Korean, and Lina translated what there were saying here and there. The new boy was called Jeongin, he also moved here from South Korea, but unlike the others, he really didn't speak English. 17 years old and only 2 months older than the girlfriend of Felix. The boy in the wheelchair was surprised by the quality of the food, he'd expected it to be worse. But he guessed that he was so used to hospital food by now, he didn't even care anymore. After he was done eating, he sneaked out the box of pills and took exactly 13 of them. No one tried to stop him. Even if they did, Felix would've taken them anyways. „What's your first lesson for today?" „Physics, and yours?" Hoshu and Lina suddenly started to talk. „I have Physics now, too. Guess we're in the same class." Changbin explained and started to smile. „You're lucky. I have PE now, with the eleventh grade." „I too!"Hoshu and Jeongin explained and gave each other a high five. The school bell rang and everyone jumped up, Felix loosened the breaks of his wheelchair and all of them rushed to their classes. All four went in and once their classmates saw Felix somehow well and alive, they started cheering and clapping. He felt that it was definetly too much to handle. The noises, the many people, the warm room, just everything. Everyone had something to give to him. Flowers, chocolate, cards, even money, pillows and plushies. At the end, he had a load of gifts and didn't know where to put them. „Felix, you can put the stuff up here and collect it when you change rooms." Mr Brown suggested. The teen shrugged and did as his teacher said. Then he wheeled himself back to Lina, who had put away a chair next to her, making space for her boyfriend. He would've loved to say „I can sit in that chair" or „Let me get that chair back", but he didn't want the pity stares of any of the people in the room, or in the whole world. He didn't want to be the boy everyone only knew because they felt sorry for him, wishing him well. He didn't want those people feel sorry for him. Maybe because that also made him sad, or just because he was too proud to show a weak side like he was now. „Okay, let's get this class started!" Mr Brown called out and did that. It felt surprisingly good for Felix to know that he was still the smart boy, or as the other would call it 'nerd', that he used to be. But he had to say, Changbin wasn't all that stupid either. He hadn't expected much of the rather laisy and poor looking boy, but who was he to judge the appearance of others? Even though he was in a wheelchair, he could still do a lot of things, even if it hurt. Even though his body didn't quite look like it anymore, he was still athletic and a good swimmer. „How are you?" the sweet voice of his girlfriend asked, making him forget all the discomfort and boringness. „I'm fine, thank you for asking." „You know you can go home if you want. I can see you're pretty absent with your thoughts." „I've not been at school for over half a year, I'm not used to it. I'm feeling fine, really. Nothing to worry about."  he assured. Again, he didn't want Lina to get distracted just because of him. He wanted her to graduate with a good score. She should live the life she previously had, with a perfectly healthy boyfriend and no fucks to give about what her dad said, that she could only start dating when she was over 30. He remembered when she first introduced him to her parents as her new boyfriend. Felix had had a two hour talk with his father in-law, explaining to him that he meant it seriously with his daughter. If only he had caring parents like that. His dad was in the military, and after divorcing his mum, he migrated to America, together with Felix' two sisters, of which he didn't even have one single memory. And his mum, if she was home, he felt like she was always making things worse. She forced him to do things. Not like Lina had done, but things that were unnecessary. He felt like after meeting his girlfriend's parents, he had the first experience with a normal family. Taking him on camping trips and even teaching him to surf properly. It had also been Lina's mother who encouraged Felix to audition for the dance team, making his almost lifelong wish come true. Ms Park worked at a small lolly (sweets) factory and often send or gave some to her daughter to always bring to the hospital and cheer up the 'guy in a wheelchair'. Only as she stopped talking, Felix remembered where he was and noticed his leg was hurting and it was almost unbareable. Enough to distract him from anything around him. It almost made him go crazy right then and there. He grabbed the next best thing, Lina's arm, and squeezed it. He tried holding himself back a lot, not wanting to hurt her. She stopped paying attention to the teacher as well and put her hand on Felix' back, wiping her other hand over his cheek. „I love you" she whispered and put her head on his. „I love you too." Unlike him, the girl didn't care what others said or thought. She didn't care if she'd lose her reputation or friends, as long as they could be together. He had always tried to just slightly think about things the way she did. Rather taking care of a cripple who at times didn't even want to continue like this, than living a carefree life and just moving on. He didn't want to accept his body being in this condition. He didn't want to accept that it was unlikely for him to recover, or have a normal life. He didn't want to accept that his old life was over and didn't want to adjust to living any different from others. He didn't want to accept that he was different from the other boys from the dance team. Lina always told him that he'll continue to be the same person, no matter what happened, but he just didn't think it would work out. The school bell rang another time and Felix immediately closed his eyes, trying to flee from the pain. He didn't even try to gwt up. Only as his girlfriend let go of him, he collapsed onto the table and broke down in tears. Right now, he just didn't care anymore. About nothing. Because people in his condition were allowed to cry, right?

Felix somehow managed to get through the day and even learned a few things. Lina walked home, him wheeling beside her. He hated himself for being miserable. He hated himself for not just having stayed over at his girlfriend's house. But he wasn't to blame. The car driver was. If that person knew what he or she had done to him? Ruining his perfect life? „Oh! Do you want to talk to my parents for some time? I don't think your Mum's home yet." she suddenly said and Felix just nodded. He remembered chasing down these streets a lot when he was younger, always running to his mother as fast as he could, often falling down on the cold stone. But before they went to Lina, Felix went into the garage of his house and grabbed some old crutches. He wanted at least two people to think he was getting better. „Do you really think you can stay on your feet for so long? You've not walked in a while." his girlfriend asked, her voice sweet and quiet as always. Felix just sighed and walked over to her. As she wanted to help, Felix explained he had to do it himself and walked to the door. All the time he visited his in-laws, he had been lucky they had a wheelchair ramp from when Lina's sick grandpa lived with them. They went inside and Ms Park was standing in the kitchen, making lunch. „Good afternoon, Ms Park" Felix said in the old, friendly but proud, tone and started smiling. The woman turned around and hugged Felix. If only his mother would do that. „Felix, I'm so happy to see you! Do you want to eat lunch with us?" The older woman asked and Felix gladly said yes. He had stayed over for meals even back when they were still children, just because his mum was out of town. Mr and Ms Park were very supportive of Lina and were even happy when Lina announced she wanted to marry Felix once they were older. For him, well, he didn't even dare to tell his mother. Not only was she almost never home and almost didn't care about her son, but she was catholic and always really strict. Li also went to this catholic school, but she wasn't exactly religious. He believed her parents only send her to that school because of him. „Jaeseol, we have a visitor eating with us today."Ms Park explained as her husband came into the dining room. The man also started smiling and greeted Felix. He remembered a time when he told people the Parks were his parents and Li his sister. „Thanks mu-... I mean Soobin, sorry.." he said as Li's mother put the food on the table. All of them started laughing. „We'd be proud if you were our son. Really proud." Jaeseol said, making Felix' chest almost swell with pride. At least one family would be happy to have a son like him. „Can I move in with you?" the boy suddenly asked, immediately regretting opening his mouth. Soojin sighed, slightly nodding. „Our mum already contacted us if we could take care of you while she isn't there. I offered for you to move into the guest room downstairs, but she lashed out at me and said she wouldn't let you move out." the woman explained. Everyone started eating, only Felix couldn't move his fingers good enough to savely grab a spoon and he didn't want to stain his shirt. „You'll be 18 soon, you can move out then! Oh, mhmm... Maybe we should think about a feeding tube" Li joked and started feeding her boyfriend. Even though he was kind of embarrassed, being fed was still better than starving with food in front of him. „I'll text my mum and tell her, that I'm staying over at your house for today. I doubt that she's worried or anything, but just so that she knows." he explained but voice-messaged her instead.

Oof, that's a long one 😂