His Last Hope ｜ A Lee Felix FF (sometimes 18+) 《COMPLETED》

「Chapter 19」

„Felix, you have been informed about the treatment. We will now start." one of the senior nurses said and started inserting needles everywhere in his body. It hurt, and he wasn't allowed to just squeeze Lina's hand, but it helped knowing she's there. „How many needles are there?" he asked in a shaky voice, taking heavy breaths. „There's 9 in total. Three in your right arm, two in your left, three in your left leg and one in your right leg." Felix started to really regret getting the treatment the moment the needles were put in right by his feet. Once they were done and started giving medication, he already wanted to stop. He already wanted to give up. He had accepted not getting better and wanted the pain to just be over. But he couldn't. He felt too sorry for all the people who donated their money. And if he would stop the treatment on it's first day, all that kindness of those strangers would go to waste. „I-is.. L-Li...mhm...s-sorry...mh" he wanted to ask if Lina was still there, but due to the pain he couldn't finish a sentence. But he was lucky enough his girlfriend ran her fingers through his hair, trying to comfort him as good as possible. A nurse came back from the corner of the room and started talking to them. „It's normal that the first few treatments are painful, but it will get better. It's also common that you'll be tired once you go home. But if the treatment is working, you should feel tremendously better the day after. We'll always give you a free day between the treatments, that you have a short time to recover." she explained, already putting new medicine into his IVs. „Is it normal that it burns like fire?" Felix whimpered, shaking his head violent on his pillow. No one answered and Li put away her hand due to his shaking. Lix immediately stopped, her being the only thing that kept him going. He grabbed her and, squeezing it just enough that she couldn't let go. „Felix, don't worry, I won't let you suffer alone. I'll stay here the whole day and the whole night if I have to" she said, starting to tickle her boyfriend's belly. He wanted to laugh, he wanted to laugh so badly, as if it would make his and Lina's life so much better. But when he tried to laugh, only a tear rolled down his cheek, making him frown even more. He felt like he was trapped. Trapped inside a cripples body, who just wanted to die, while he wanted to live. He didn't want to leave this world, and his girlfriend and friends, he just wanted his old life back. Some nights, when his mum wasn't home, he cried like a child whose favorite toy was broke. Felix was always afraid he would loose all the feeling in his body parts, being completely paralized, but he wanted exactly that right now. „Try thinking about something fun. Memories or things that you want to do once you're better." His girlfriend suggested. Before even closely thinking about it, he did so. He tried to imagine what his first day of school in year 12 might have looked like, without him having the accident. He would've gone to her house after getting ready, they would've walked to school. Felix would have been so happy to see Hyunjin standing there and even gave him a bro hug. Inside, he would've teased the boys that thought poking him with a fork was a fun thing to do. He probably would've chatted with Changbin a bit more, and may have even been nicer to him. And then, the school day would've continued like any other. Except that he and Mark wouldn't have to stop Ryan and Patrick from beating each other up, since they already graduated. He also would've tried to make Jeongin's and Changbin's first day at the new school as comfortable as possible, knowing how stressful it is going to a new school. It worked and distracted Felix from the pain, almost forgetting he was in the hospital. He kept looking in the eyes of his girlfriend, who smiled. He always wondered how she could manage to never shed a tear in front of him, except for those of joy. She was never sad in front of him. Even when he had said her in the face that he hated her, which he regretted more than not being careful on the road, she didn't care and stayed positive. „Your next treatment is on Friday, 8 am. You're done for now. We are going to pull out the needles and give you some time to relax before we send you home." a doctor said and did exactly that. Pulling out the needles felt relieving. Felix had a weird feeling his body was full of fluid, what was true, since he was just given three liters of medication. But he could already feel this fluid desolving. „And when am I going to have surgery?" he asked the person in charge. „Every month one small surgery."
Only after some minutes, he realised what it meant that his treatment was at eight in the morning. „If my treatment is in the morning, you won't be able to come, right?" he asked, though he already knew the answer. She just nodded while Felix drifted into darkness, all pain fading away.