His Last Hope ｜ A Lee Felix FF (sometimes 18+) 《COMPLETED》

「Chapter 53」

"Felix, do you wanna go in the pool now?" "Yes of course! I'm just gonna get changed real quick!" Lix and Phil said to each other, him already wheeling to the bathroom, after he grabbed his swimming underwear. "Be careful with the feeding tube though, I'll help you change." Lina said and opened the door for him, gently lifting him inside. He took off his shirt, and before he could continue, he had to look at the feeding tube. It was still quite red, as it was infected, but it wasn't bad, it didn't hurt. "We're just gonna put a showering band-aid over it and hope that it won't get wet." He said as Li was eyeing him up, trying to figure out what he was thinking. "Very smart, darling. Very smart." She said and chuckled, also taking off her shirt. "Oh woah, why're you taking it off??" Lix asked in surprise. "Well I can't go swimming with it, can I?" She asked and booped his nose. Both of them laughed and Felix managed to take off his pants, but he couldn't put on the swimming ones. He looked at his spouse and pouted. "Aww you look like a baby. I would take pictures if you weren't naked down there." She said and laughed. "But that's the point! I can't put them on." After a minute or so, that problem was solved. "Li, I think I know why my hair is falling out now." Felix said and smiled at her, trying to hide his sadness and his fear. "Oh really? Tell me about it." Lina said, grabbed both of his hands and smiled back. "I have apologized for all of my sins. All except one, one that not even you or I myself can forgive me for." He said, looking down in between his legs, but Li put her hand on his chin and lifted it up, signalling him that he should keep looking at her face. "What is it darling? You know that you can tell me everything and that I won't be mad about it, I promise." She said and squeezed his hands a little bit. Could he really tell her? Would she really not be mad? "Lix what did you do? Come on, tell me." "I... I touched myself... I touched myself down there." He said and bit his lip, awaiting a gasp and probably also a scolding, but none of that happened. Instead, she laughed. "Oh baby, that's just a normal thing for boys to do." She said and put her hand back on his cheek. "Not for me... I feel so weird about it... Like, I'm not even a virgin, but I feel so weird about doing it myself." He said and quivered just at the thought of what he had done. "Baby... It's nothing bad, honestly. I'm sure that most, if not all, of your friends have done it before, and there's nothing wrong with it. Am I the first one who you told it to?" "Phil, I mean dad, knows as well. I just don't know how to apologize for it... I've prayed after doing it, I've done everything after doing it. I feel like nothing is getting answered." He said and let his head fall down, having it basically wobble between his shoulders. "Lix." Lina said "There is absolutely nothing wrong with pleasuring yourself, and God will forgive you for anything if you're honest about it. Since you've only done it once and have already apologised, I'd say it's forgiven and forgotten. Maybe you're also taking things a little too serious here." What?! How could she! "What?! I just don't wanna go to hell, I wanna go to paradise, unlike another person in this room." He said and got extremely angry at Lina. He could've punched her right then and there. No one, absolutely no one, could go against his religion. Why would she care what he believed in?! He just wanted help by the person he trusted the most, but of course she had to betray him. "Let's just go swimming, alright Felix?" Uh oh. There was always something wrong when she just used his name to address him. But he didn't care about it, he just nodded and wheeled outside, to where Phil and Sharon were waiting. "Oh what're the frowns for?" His mum asked and chuckled a little bit. "Ugh, it's nothing big, no need to worry mum." He said and smiled. He wheeled over to the edge of the pool, slid out of his chair and sat down on the edge, his feet hanging in the warm water. Li sat down on his right while Phil took the place to his left, all of them dangling their feet in the water. "Can you give me a hug?" The person to his right whispered in his ear and she also put her head on his shoulder and arms around his chest. "You're already hugging me though." He quietly  snarled back and rolled his eyes at her. He was mad, at as of now, nothing would change that. He quickly slipped into the water, pulling the girl down alongside with him. She screamed as their heads were underwater for a second, but when they came up, she looked shocked but okay. Maybe Felix wasn't as mad anymore. His heart just melted at how Lina was clinging onto him, trying to stay Overwater. "Darling you know you can swim right? But actually, stay like that." He said as he picked his girlfriend up bridal style and held her close to his chest. How could Lix be mad at her? He couldn't help but shiver at how good it felt to hold her like this again. He'd done it many times before, even when they were still little, so it was very refreshing doing that again. "Felix I'm surprised you can stand that well. Good job mate." Phil said from the side. Right! I'm standing on my own, without crutches! Lix's chest almost started to swell with pride, knowing what he had accomplished. "I'm so good at it now, watch me." He started walking and got to the deeper part of the pool, in which he couldn't stand anymore. So, the couple went underwater for a second before going up for a second time. "Wanna race me to the other end?" Lina said and Lix nodded, smirking as he lined himself up on the wall.  "Lina you're probably gonna lose!" Sharon teased from where she was sitting. They all laughed and the teenagers got ready. "On 1!" Phil said and started counting down. "3" Felix got tense, as if this was a real competition. "2" he got into position and glanced over to Lina, seeing her slightly laugh. "5" Phil said and both teenagers responded "HEY!" at the same time. Everyone laughed. Suddenly, Lina started swimming, gaining a lead. But Lix was more experienced than her, catching up to her once they were halfway through the pool. He managed to reach the other edge first and pushed himself out of the water, onto the warm stone. "You should see your smile right now." Li said as she looked him in the eyes. "If it's as bright as yours then I can imagine."
About two hours later, all of them were having lunch. "So kids" Sharon started after taking a sip out of her ginger ale "it's mine and Phil's wedding anniversary in two days and we wanted to have Korean food, since we now have a Korean son. How about it?" She asked and Lina nodded, while her boyfriend only did so hesitantly. "What's wrong Felix? Don't you like Korean food?" Phil asked as he saw his son's reaction. "Oh no it's great... Yeah... Let's get some Korean food!" He cheered. Once no one payed attention anymore, he went back to frowning. He couldn't keep a facade up for long. "So what's your favourite korean food? Me and Phil actually like Kimchi the most." His mum said. "Oh yes kimchi is great, we eat it with almost everything. Mine is either Bulgogi or yobogi." "Felix?" His dad mentioned him, so he quickly went back to smiling. "Oh uhm what Li said." He mumbled and went back to playing with the strings of his pants. He untied and tied them again. He pulled on them to make his pants tight, until his organs were squeezed together and he had to loosen them again. Then, he started to explore the scar on his belly once again, that was right under the feeding tube. He ran his finger through it- yes, through it. Unlike most of the other scars, it was like a hole in his body and didn't stick out. It was as wide as his index finger, so it was easy to explore. Every single little bump or deeper hole that there was, he felt it. It felt like reading the alphabet blind people have. (Sry I rlly don't know what it's called.) "It's quite big, isn't it?" Lina whispered as she grabbed his hand. He quickly looked up and saw that they were now alone at the table. Lix nodded and went back to playing with it, being in no mood to talk right now. "Do you think it makes you ugly?" His fiance asked, him shaking his head as an answer. "Good, honey. Because it doesn't. It's a part of you, everyone has scars and imperfections. Imperfections make us perfect." She said and her boyfriend nodded again. "So I must be ultra perfect. Lots of scars, ugly freckles, I should be the most perfect human alive." He mumbled and kinda smirked. "Well, you are the most perfect person, but your fre-" "Yes okay, I get it they're not ugly." He cut Li off and pulled his hand away, now playing with the tube in his belly. "Are you in a bit of a bad mood today?" "Can't I have a bad day for once? I'm not like you I'm not always happy. Especially not if I'm like this!" He growled at her and buried his head in his arms on the table. The girl put her hand on his head, carefully running her fingers through his hair. Out of fear, that even more hair would fall out, Felix punched her hand away and looked her back in the eyes. He couldn't read the expression. "Okay..." She sighed and now did the same by burying her face in her hands. "Doesn't Korean food have a lot of beans? I don't like beans.." he said and laughed a little bit. "Some dishes do have black bean sauce, but you can just order something that doesn't have beans and you'll be fine." His 'love' said and sighed again. "사랑해.." Felix said and put his head on the girl's back. "나도, 용복... I love you too." She replied and chuckled. Surprisingly, Lix had no problem with being called Yongbok. He didn't exactly like it, but he didn't get angry like last time. "So you still wanna marry me?" He asked and she frantically nodded. "Of course!" She said, swung her arms around his neck and kissed him on the mouth. Passionately. She tried to get a grasp of his hand again, but could only find his thumb. So she held onto that as hard as she could, not letting go. They technically were just wearing underwear- no! Lix couldn't have those thoughts, not now. Or could he? No! "You're so cute." He said once the kiss had ended, looking down on her hand around the boy's thumb. He had small hands, but bigger ones than the girl. "I'll always protect you, okay?" He asked as Lina pulled him into her embrace, gently stroking his hair once again. "Thank you, I will too.." she responded and put her head on his. "I'm sorry I couldn't always be there with you in the hospital, I'm sorry that I couldn't always be there to hold your hand. I'm sure it would've made lots a lot easier for you. I'll be there more now."