𝕋𝕙𝕖 ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕞𝕖𝕕 𝕊𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣'𝕤 (𝕊𝕖𝕒𝕤𝕠𝕟 𝕆𝕟𝕖)

εԹίနσδε နίX - Թαɾϯ ϯհɾεε

Wedding from Hell

Piper: Well, before we ruin the wedding and my career, let's make sure we're right about Jade.

(Scene: Spencer's house. Prue, Piper and Penelope are peeking through a window. Inside, Jade and her bridesmaids are sitting on a bed. Jade is opening presents. She holds up some lingerie.)

Jade: This should make his assets rise. (They all giggle.)

Prue: Looks like a normal bachelorette party to me.

Piper: I don't believe it. They've barely touched my food.

Prue: Piper...

Piper: Those deli trays took hours. (Kirsten picks up the fertility icon.)

Kirsten: And you know who this is from. They understand how important it is for you to get pregnant right away. (She hands it to Jade.)

Prue: Hey, I know that piece, it's from the Auction House. (Someone knocks on the door.)

Jade: Come in. (The door opens and a stripper dressed as a pizza delivery guy walks in.)

Stripper: Hi. Pizza delivery.

Piper: They ordered Pizza? (The stripper gets a small tape player out of the pizza bag and turns it on. He starts dancing.) Oh, okay, now I feel better. (The stripper starts removing his clothes.)

Kirsten: Mmm, he looks good enough to eat.

Jade: Good idea. (The women get off the bed and surround the stripper. They all touch him.) Girls, I'm the bride. (She scratches the stripper on his chest with her long fingernails. He starts bleeding. He yells in pain.)

Commercial Break

(Scene: Manor. Conservatory. Prue, Piper and Penelope are there.)

Prue: Somehow, we have to stop them.

Penelope: So, there's only one problem with our plan. We're assuming that Allison is gonna be a willing accomplice. Piper: She still loves Elliot. You heard what she said.

Prue: And the Book of Shadows says that the spell can be broken by a declaration of love sealed with a kiss. Piper: It's so romantic. Just like a fairy tale. And once Elliot is out of her spell, Jade's out of luck, no wedding, no honeymoon night.

Prue: No honeymoon, no sex and no sex, no monster child spending alternate weekends with daddy.

Penelope: I still say we rely on our Power of Three thing and ix-nay the monster bride and her carnivorous bridesmaids.

Piper: Penelope, we're supposed to help people, not harm them.

Prue: And that's exactly what we're gonna do. You two will get Elliot, I'll get Allison, and we'll meet at the front of gate no later than 2:30. Everybody have their weapons? (Piper grabs her phone, Prue grabs her phone and Penelope grabs the poingnard.)

Prue: I'll take that. (She takes the poingnard off of Penelope.) Okay, so, it's time to shower, shampoo and go kick some Hecate butt. (Prue leaves the room.)

Penelope: Did she just say shower?

Piper: She did, didn't she?

Penelope/Piper: Hot water! (They chase after her.)