Neither you nor me

Part 69

8 months later>>>>>>>

It's been 8 months since I became pregnant and Riley left me. I have become more stable now as I'm busy with my own pregnancy. But I still miss Riley. Apparently, my wounds have healed a lot but left a scar on my invisible skin.

He didn’t even called me for once or text me in this months. We last met 8 months ago on the elevator. Just within mid of every month, I get a cheque of money saying
'take care of you and the baby'

I didn’t even touched the money once but as Stacy pacified me
"He is the one who messed up so you should definitely borrow this"
I agreed with her. He needs to give me compensation. Because he is the one to left us. He gave up on his baby just like my father did on me.

Rumours has it, he has been living in my earlier apartment. He can be hardly noticed in the office, Brezo says so. But, he is working hard. It is often heard that, he remains drowned in meetings, deals, stocks and working over load. Stacy denied to give me any of his information as she guesses, it will affect my baby. But, as she returns home everyday late night, I can guess Riley is really busy in his work. At least, he has something to do. I don't!

I am currently working on my shop which is being constructed. The shop is placed centrally of the city and I hope the constructions to end in a few months. I will be free to start doing something to earn my baby a life. Emmy is the one to work after this so hard. Really, I couldn’t handle the pressure and pregnancy at the same time.

There's a huge baby bump on my stomach. The best part is as the time flew, my bond became more stronger. The worst part of my pregnancy is the mood swings and sudden twist in my lower abdomen. I cried all most every day in the morning thinking about Riley but the person inside me gives me stimulation to be happy. Cupcakes have got to be my favourite in the whole time as I constantly throws up.

My baby got her father's taste. I can't remember when I had my meal properly. I can sense movement inside me. Being a mother is a bliss. I love this tiny piece, who's in my womb and playing around. I know the baby loves me too. I can feel that. Honestly, she kicks a lot.

Yeah! It's a she!

Eve showed me excitedly the ultra sonograms and told me that I'm gonna be a mother of a baby girl. I have started to buy cute dresses for her and small tiny clips which is obviously so cute. I can't wait to see her. I wanna see how she looks like!

Actually, Eve is my doctor. I'm taking treatments from her and she is my obstetrician. We got along well. And everybody was right towards her! She is very kind and loving. She works for the orphan kids and runs a NGO. I would help her if my condition was better.

Recently, I don't feel so well from the evening to whole night. I have started getting sick. More of, lack of my partner. I can't move or look into my legs which have swelled more. I can't even wear shoes. My hair has started to fall and I always feel so irritated.

Most of my feelings are mixture of irritation and sadness. Sometimes, I feel like I'm the happiest person of this world. But whenever, I visit pregnancy care centre and notice all the pregnant moms with their husband or boyfriend, I feel sad. I wish Riley would have understand me! There's huge distance rose between us. I can't think this is gonna be normal now.

Can't he just come and see me? Why don't he possess feelings for his own child? He was angry at Emmy when he was denying Stacy and Stem. And now, he is doing the same! I forbade each and every guards, even Oliver, to tell him about me. Oliver says Riley never asked about me. Hurts! I felt a tiny sting in my heart. I hoped a tiny glance of hope.

Stacy always turns knives around me. She has been strict about my diet and medication since the first trimester. Even, she hired a nurse for that and she keeps watching over me in her phone by the cameras. Layken gives me company most of the time. She comes twice a week and the little span she spends with me, makes me forget everything. Katie and Kylie too visits sometimes. They says Riley is invisible now-a-days. Good! He has been hiding from everyone.

I met with Brezo and Ellie thrice in this 8 months. They came to see me first and the next time, I went to Ellie's baby shower and when Ellie's daughter was born.

Brezo named her after me. I still remember I wondered why the hell he had to keep Alaska? In answer, he told that he wants his baby to be strong and shine like me.

I recalled every moments in this winter night with a thread and needle. I'm currently sewing a sweater for my baby boo. She will be out in a month and our wedding anniversary is the day after tomorrow. I won't get winter cloths much for some days old baby. Hence, I have knitted over a dozen sweater and jumper for her. If my mom would have been alive, she would do it for me.

It's past midnight and my baby shower has been scheduled tomorrow. Stacy must kill me if she finds out I'm still awake. But it's my daily routine to sleep late. Whenever I close my eyes, I see Riley.

I let out a deep sigh and hold out the jumper that I had just finished. It’s light maroon and it's so small and obviously cute. I can imagine this in the body of my lil tyke.

I must sleep now. Tomorrow, close ones will be visiting me and giving wishes to us. Ted and Lauriya will flew from Australia. As Dad is ill, he won't be able to come but I'm happy that someone is coming from there. Ted nearly lost it when he found out about everything. He called and insulted Riley but Riley didn’t uttered a single word.

I miss his absence!

I turned the lights off and tried to lay down without harming the baby. Sometimes, I feel uncomfortable for not being able to move a bit. I feel something heavy is inside me but I love it. I caressed my belly slowly and muttered
"I won't ever leave you. You are one hundred percent mine"
I stopped and she kicked hardly. I'm taking it as a medium of showing approval.

(Hey guys, how was it? Do tell me. #RileyAlaska)