Neither you nor me

Part 72

After the nurse took Finnie to keep her in the incubator as a reason for being premature, they injected something in my body that made me fall asleep.

I'm on a surreal position. Where I can hear the instrument sounds, sometimes whispers, sometimes footsteps. I sleep but I can hear. Sometime, my pain awakes me. The effect of anesthesia is slowly drying up and I can feel a horrible pain on my lower abdomen but still I manage to fall asleep.

I'm now in a position of sleep where I'm hearing whispers. Someone is whispering something above my head. I can hear someone speaking unclear.
"I know your mom never gonna forgive me.........you are my strength.........I love you so much.........so beautiful........I'm gonna protect you forever though I always protect everyone........I'm always there for you"
I again drowned into the sleepy state.

The soft shines has laid back to the floor through the curtains. Like everyday, the birds are chirping, snow has stopped falling, peoples are walking for their livelihood. There’s nothing special today. Except one, yesterday I was a mere girl now I'm a mother. I gazed into the soft sun that fell upon and snow and made them look more beautiful.

I feel happy today. Every morning, I remain lost but not today. I'm waiting excitedly to see Finnie for another time. Eve said they are gonna hand me her soon. Ted has already brought balloons and toys for her. Though, she is so tiny.

I looked into the bed where Lauriya and Stacy is discussing about what paint I should use to decorate her room. I'm not gonna put her into her own room untill she is 5. Till then, she is gonna sleep with me. For now, in the cradle that Ana gifted me on my baby shower.

But I'm lil confused about the voice that I heard last night. I have a silt hope that Riley might have come. The voice says so. But there's bodyguards on the door. I should ask Emmy. He might know.

I walked near the tv where Emmy is sitting and focusing on it. He noticed me and whispered
"Hey, feeling okay?"
"Kinda" I said
"Great" he again focused on the tv.
"I need to know something"
He looked at me and asked
"What?"
I took a long breathe
"Did Riley showed up yesterday?"
His facial expression changed and he said
"Well, he didn’t. Why are you asking that?"
I let out a deep sigh. It must be my mistake. I might have had a dream.
"I thought I heard him. Never mind"

I got up hopelessly. I would have felt better if Riley really came. Emmy called out
"Alaska"
I turned and asked
"What?"
"Riley did came. Sorry for lying"
Is he really saying the truth? That means, it was him. I heard right. I excitedly jumped and sat on his parallel seat
"Did you allowed him?"
"Nope. But he pleaded to see Finnie. I denied at first but he is my brother after all. He took Finnie from the incubator and visited you. I assumed you sleeping so I guessed you wouldn’t knew but I was wrong"

Some inner me danced. I didn’t knew he would come. But why he sneaked like a thief to see his own daughter? If he is a man, he would walk up and claim the rights.

"Jeez" Emmy looked behind and screamed. He is looking at horror struck eyes and I followed that. I looked behind and I saw a man in the corridor. His hair is messy, there's dark circles around the eyes which once used to be glossy. The person looks thin. In total, he looks really sick. I muttered to myself
"Riley"

He is seeing me with guilt in his inner heart and he is really nervous to even say something. I saw Ted ran across and punched him hardly. Riley fell into the floor but managed himself. He turned back and I saw bloods in his lips.
"Get away you fucking bastard" Ted scowled
"I need to talk to her" Riley said pointing to me.
"Don't you dare talk to my sister. You abandoned her" Ted protested
"I'm sorry Alaska" Riley said with guilt in his voice and with remorseful eyes.

Lauriya cleared her throat and said
"I think we should leave them alone"
All the eyes except me turned to her. Ted yelled
"Have you gone crazy? You know what he did!"
"I know but if he wanna talk to Alis, we can't deny. Let us leave them"
Lauriya walked from the room saying this and Riley said
"Thank you"

Lauriya turned back and said
"Don't think I'm gonna go easy on you. You have to pay for all of that" and walked down to the elevator.
"Lauriya is right. We gotta go" Emmy said in nervousness and directed Stacy to go. Ted wasn’t moving but Emmy somehow forcibly took him. They closed the door.

Now, in this room, there's no one except me and Riley. I felt that I will nearly choke. I saw him after 8 months. I feel like I would jump into his arms but I kept my inner me strong. I made this sacrifice for Finnie and I wouldn’t let him tore it into pieces in seconds.
"I'm sorry" he sounded desperate. I smirked and said
"Very well"
He tried to say something but stopped.

A storm is growing inside me. I am trying terribly my tears to stop. Standing on this day, he isn’t worth to see them. I kept it stored for myself. I'm not gonna forgive him. He is the one to start all this. If he couldn’t accept my baby 8 months earlier, why he is standing here today? He is gonna apologize and make it up for me, but he can never change the moments that I had to undergo. Can he return me those feelings when I needed him the most? He is gonna whisper how much he loves me and how much he loves our daughter but he wouldn’t have to do this if he would kept supporting me.

"I took a look at our daughter" he said while being confused about what to say.
"I guess Finnie is my daughter" I said boldly.
He gave me a confused look
"Finnie?"
And quickly handled himself
"Great! Finnie, nice name"
Riley again drowned in confusion. I know he has several things to convey but he knows too I'm not gonna forgive him.

He started walking towards me and I can feel the lack of everything more specifically. He approached near me and eyed me from top to bottom. Bloods have stopped dripping. He whispered
"You look like a woman now"
I took a second to answer
"I was always a women"
He shook his head and said
"I came to apologize"
I gave a rude smile despite trying hard for not crying
"Apologize? Riley Spencer is apologizing me? For what? Leaving me and my daughter?"
He looked more worst than ever. He said
"I'm sorry for what I've put on you. This could never happen if I just accepted my child but I didn’t do that"
"Yes, Riley you didn’t do that. You preferred leaving us rather than staying beside us" I yelled and he regretted even more.

"I spent 8 months without you and I can do it for the rest of my life" I said and he looked at me with more remorse
"You don't need to live without me for the rest of your life. I'm gonna stay with you and do whatever a father does for his child. Finnie is my baby. I'm sorry I left her but now I can't ignore her. I have started loving her"
He sniffled.

"You think I'm gonna forgive you for leaving us and appearing on the day when it's clear that I won!"
I felt me boiling in heat.
"At least give me a chance" he sounded sorry.
"Never in this lifetime!" I said while tending to look strong.

He was about to say something but the door opened and a nurse entered with Finnie in her hand. She smiled at me and handed her in my hands. I looked at her. She is sleeping peacefully. Her hands are covered with tubes. I hope they didn’t hurt her. Riley is looking at her restlessly. He is admiring her too. He tried to touch him but I took a step behind and spoke
"She is mine"
"Please" tears dropped from his eyes and I'm slowly melting too.

It's true that I can separate Finnie from Riley but it's also true that I have no right to separate a daughter from her father. That's all I wanted is Riley to accept Finnie. I carefully handed my small baby to his hands after he cleared the bloods by his sleeves.

He broke down in tears. He is crying hard with Finnie in his hand. He is crying so loudly. Finnie nearly got awake at the sound. I patted on her chest and she fell asleep. That helped Riley to decrease his volume. He whispered
"My baby. My Finnie. I'm sorry sweetheart. I treated you and your mom so badly" he kissed in her tiny face.

I would have forgive him but I can't forget my past 8 months. Finnie was the reason he abandoned me. I wouldn’t let him have upper hands in this phase. I fought for her and I can't let Riley take it from me. He needs to realize how wrong he did!

(Hey guys, I hope you liked that. Comment down. #RileyAlaska)