Neither you nor me

Part 76

Feeling sad has a treatment. You can just watch a movie or have a holiday. Feeling depressed also has a treatment. You can talk to your friends or you can go for a consultant.

What's the treatment of feeling absolutely nothing?

You know the emptiness, right? When you don't feel nothing. Literally, nothing. It isn't about heartbreak or sorrow. It's nothing. You feel like a blank dry leaf in the weather of winter. It feels like you don't have anything to lose or gain. It's like nothing. I repeat, nothing.

I looked into the surrounding from my car's window. It's barely visible as it's covered in fogs and my windshield has already surrendered. It has started to become morning. Why does dawn seems so perfect?

I turned to Spencer mansion 30 mins ago in hope of finding Darius but not a single life was seen. Not even the bodyguards, not even the security guards. Not even Layken. All turned out somewhere, where I don't know how to go! Are all gone because everything ended?

Bloods have soaked up on my lips and my vagina. I feel a numb pain in my lower abdomen. I should go to see a doctor but I don't feel like to. I don't even have money. My legs is covered with dark red bloods due to drying up. I'm glad that I'm alive! I wouldn't get to know that my life was someone's pre planned game. My everything that I had, actually I thought I had, was someone's charity.

Not a charity! Charity is the result of selfless love. It was selfish! What words should I use? I'm exhausted which resulted in my overslept with all these thoughts.

When I woke up, it was almost noon. I startled for a moment and tried to recall why the hell I'm in a car seat! When everything seemed clear, tears started dropping from my eyes.

Riley Spencer, the man literally had every access of me. I loved him from my heart and soul. He never let me see why I shouldn't love him. Even on my worst days with Finnie in my womb, I never hated him. But now, all I have a cluster of heartbreak and deep sighs. What did he repaid me?

Was it all fake when he whispered how pretty I am during the exhausted nights? Was it all fake when he kept murmuring how much he loves me? Was it fake when he vowed to be with me in our wedding? 2 days ago, I wanted Riley to stay with me during those hard endurable days. I wanted him while giving birth to Finnie. 2 days later, I hate him. I literally don't want to see his face anymore.

I looked with blurry eyes into the dry compound. I pulled my car inattentively in the fogs that I didn't knew the location. But I can see clear now. Eve said Finnie is with Darius. Maybe, I should visit Eve's home. She mentioned they lived together.

Eve, another tear drop when she came into my mind. She loved me. I felt that. She wanted to protect me and courageously supported me when I wanted to keep my baby. Lastly, she is dead now. She is no more in this cruel world. Another life got out from here for Riley. He made her infertile just because Marshall tried to get on me. Though, Riley accepted his fault but it doesn't change anything.

I restarted my car in hope of Finnie and Stem. While driving, I nearly hit a truck which made me realize how careless and inattentive I am! I don't know what happened last night! Did Riley, Stacy and Emmy survived? Is Marshall alive? Did any of the bodyguards survived? I clutched my head and put the accelerator off limits. This is my second rule break than yesterday. I don't care. They would arrest me as I clearly murdered Marshall yesterday night. But when everything you believed turns out to fake, you don't actually have something to dwell on!

I pulled myself in front of Eve's apartment. I hoped there would be no security guards. Anyone wouldn't let me enter in this condition but luckily, there wasn't one. But the fact is, I don't know in which floor Darius lives! I bet there would be many rooms. I just can't press the bell everytime. Moreover, I'm limping. It's hard now to walk.