From Grief We grew (Only On Wattpad)

Chapter 12 Hayden

As people gather in the church, the place starts to get noisy. A boy wearing a suit walks in along with three girls wearing white dresses and pin-drop silence falls over the room. The boy takes his place on the right by the piano. The girls stand on the left. He starts playing and the gentle sound of music fills the cave. The girls start to sing sending shivers down my spine. There are no mics but their voices echo through the cave. The priest and his altar boys walk in. Lights start shining on them. I lift my head and see lights coming out from the painting. It's like heaven opened up. There are small bulbs lighting up the floor too. The scene is just breathtaking.

"Wow," I hear Teagan say. Zayden was right, the mass is beautiful.

After mass, we wait for everyone to leave. She takes out the next card and I look at it. Behind the cave. Take ten steps and dig. "How will we dig sand?" She asks.

I think for a minute. "Hands?"

She sighs and stands up. I follow her upstairs and she does exactly as my brother says. We squat down and start digging with our hands.

"Zayden was such a germaphobe I wonder how he did this?" I wonder.

"Probably had a shovel."

We start seeing something purple. I quickly push the sand away and take out the big plastic box with a purple lid. I open it and inside is a pair of sneakers. I take it out and look at it. It is a pair of blue sneakers with clouds and an angel painted on it resembling the mural inside.

"Don't worry bro. I know you aren't very holy so I didn't hide your gift here. The next stop is yours. Winki face, " Teagan reads from a paper that was in the box.

There is also a little canvas inside. Something to remember is written on the back. I take it out and turn it over. The mural on the wall is painted on it. I give it to Teagan and she looks at it with watery eyes.

"I'm sorry," she says.

"What for?"

"You didn't get a gift from him-"

"It's okay. Just being here makes me happy. Knowing my brother, he selected this as the first destination so we could get our birthday blessings," I say air quoting blessings.

"You can keep the painting if you-"

"It's okay Teagan. I'm fine."

"So are we going to the next place?"

"Let's call it a day. We'll continue some other day."

She nods.

We grab all the things and get into the car. I drive in silence and she doesn't say much either. Only when we get into town she speaks, "Can we go see Zayden?

"I was going to ask you that."

We stop at a florist and buy some flowers before we go to the cemetery. We walk up to his grave and I lay the bouquet on it. I remain standing while she sits down on the grass.

"Happy birthday Zay," I tell him in my head. "I miss you so much. This is my second birthday without you. I'm trying my best to be more of you but I know that no one can be you. It's really hard. Whenever I look at Teagan all I see is you."

I picture my brother sitting beside Teagan and looking at her. I watch him place his hand on hers as she stares at the grave. For a second I think my brother is looking at me and saying something. But then I realize it's Teagan and the sight of my brother disappears. "Can you leave us alone?" She whispers. I nod and walk away. I get into my car and cry in silence.

Losing your twin after spending half of your life with them means you get to spend the rest of your life with survivor's guilt. All you can think of is that that car should have hit you not them. That maybe if it was you, your parents would have been happier. I'm sure they would. Zayden was their favourite child. He was the better one. I was the brat. The rebel. The one always getting grounded. So maybe if it was me, my parents would have thought good means to bad rubbish. So to ease such a pang of guilt, one would do anything even if it means breaking up with your long-time girlfriend and leaving behind your dream of being a musician to follow your brother's footsteps-